Nnnnnf! T-that was a BIG one, huff~ H-how about n-now~ Hard to believe all these used to f-fit me

Tough to dress when even at 1000+% compression ratio your softies are so long and your nuts are so huge I managed it anyways~ Happy November!

Comm! Hyper breasts.

"bluesky is a frankenstein combination of tumblr and somethingawful" cousin if you don't recognize that's a scathing negative indictment of this place there's no helping you

[gets drunk, nods off, wakes up with a snort] fuck i mean I doordashed $70 of sushi? ah beans

so far, after being promoted nobody's noticed that I'm a dumbfuck and they keep planning to pay me management money so...cool

ayo??

anyway i couldn't get a loan for a car so i think i'm gonna try to buy a cheap black powder rifle cause that's also i thing I've wanted to own

this is a cry for help btw please i dont know how to make the head clock more 'monoeye sphinx-y'

I'm trying to evoke "sphinx" with the head but I can't pull it off and I'm not sure how to manage

feel like I'm wasting my day off doing nothing but i can't.. i dunno there's no desire to DO. i guess ill run the dishwasher and laundry but i dont even wanna do a game or something

I'm trying to evoke "sphinx" with the head but I can't pull it off and I'm not sure how to manage

I'm unbelievably tired and every day it feels like I have less to look forward to

i think my prospects for this car loan look good even with my zero prior credit record, which will both improve my credit score and get me a car I can drive. which is good cause my knee gets worse by the day

i think i want pizza. again. for the millionth time. idk man pizza just hits also no other food delivers out in asscheeks, ohio

I'm old. Do you know how I know I'm old? I ordered a $30 spoon. And I'm excited to get this $30 spoon.

anyway I'm buying myself a fancy lockpicking multitool as congratulations for being in the safe zone after shit blew up (becoming assistant manager because nobody else wants to after someone quit)

>play deadlock >person talks shit >kill them >repeat their shit talk at them >their gameplay IMMEDIATELY degrades >focus them all game >they lose many such cases. do not give me an exposed widget, I will jam a lockpick in it and fuck around until you find out

so i guess i'm the assistant manager now, the same way horseshoe crabs evolved. just sort of. existing in the right way by accident. i don't know how this happened.

not having any friends deeper than acquaintances sucks. I thought I did but I don't think i do anymore! I guess I will focus on working a lot and drinking and hope I die faster than normal

gonna learn how to dye (and possibly bleach) my hair so I can have green dreads for christmas cause BOO bitch call me the grinch i hate this shit

oh no. a horrid beast. you better not bite me you big bitch

one little positive thing of this job is i have definitely lost weight. I mean, I still look, feel, and am fat BUT! I can bend over to tie my shoes without having to hold my breath because my fat stomach no longer crushes my lungs

also if you play calico, go stub your toe fuck that hero

still occasionally recall someone calling Dynamo in a Deadlock game "Fat fuck big bag satellite" and just giggle to myself for a minute

oh no. a horrid beast. you better not bite me you big bitch

i wanna go to the buffet and get more frog legs

let's also make biscuits with your shitty uncle! I did not take enough pictures though. First you will need 1 heap cup flour like 3/4~ cup milk, with a tablespoon or so of white vinegar in it 1/2 teaspoon baking powder, maybe more? half a stick of cold, preferably frozen butter salt

let's make popcorn with your shitty uncle, me! You will need popcorn, about 1/3 cup, some oil, some kind of wide and deep pan with a lid (one you can easily jiggle around atop your heat source the whole time, so a wok is great) and salt for best results (not pictured)

variation of the self avatar creature yes the outfit is supposed to look like teeth top and bottom

its really hard to have crunchy food around at all times when you think about it. most food isn't like...crunchy. you know like, peanuts crunchy? gnocchi soup is great but i'm craving the sensation of biting on little rocks or something. I guess I should make some popcorn or hash browns

I hate to perpetuate stereotypes but the only customers at work who are rude, greedy, trying to queue jump, trying to cheat the system to get extra free things, etc. are solely old white women.

mom just sent me a message with a store listing for some premade pepper mash because she knows I'm really into spicy food and make my own hot sauce and man that. feels nice to know she finally actually cares about what i'm into

online like maybe a 3, in person a soft 6--purely because of, at work, any time I interact with any lady that seems under... I dunno, 25? they just like, clam up when I try to do Customer Banter. I know it ain't because I'm handsome, so I must look spooky.

What if the tentacular eyeball creature was sex shaped? ...I like it You can view a few more extremely lewd variations of this Sex Shaped Plushie on my Subscribestar: subscribestar.adult/renolethyn

New undie goofin

Happy 30th Anniversary #Vectorman !! #SEGA

nutting should be a muscle you work out so your balls and/or labia get bigger the more you do it

god damnit i washed my sheets before i left for work, so my bed is unmade with clean sheets on a pile lying on the mattress. just...putting the fitted sheet back on is gonna suck.

sexy potassium citrate i was bored at work and googling the ingredients on the sugar free sparkling water I was drinking :|

[crawls around on the ceiling like a spider] salmiak..salmiak...i'm running out of salmiak...

It was really cold when I woke up this morning so I purchased a duvet. I don't have to just put on more socks. This is too much power.

What if the tentacular eyeball creature was sex shaped? ...I like it You can view a few more extremely lewd variations of this Sex Shaped Plushie on my Subscribestar: subscribestar.adult/renolethyn

Bebop has more parents than Pocket

immolation

Inktober25 #013 Phentastic Inktober is not only an exercise in speed and consistency, but also an excuse to draw things I've been putting off during this massive art block the past few years. Like gifts for friends and mutuals. First rule of Phen? there's always more Phen.

lil' goofy animation I did with this old @einrotica.bsky.social pic (bsky.app/profile/einr...)

I mainly wanted to draw @pikacha.bsky.social with a big fat ass. But I mean. How could I NOT want to fuck her? She's lap shaped, and perfectly counter balanced!

what kind of mouth situation do you think this creature should have. like a hidden one in the normal place below the eyes, weird gibbering mouther situation, a secret third thing?

moving my mom off an iphone to an android device from 2500 miles away