i think I'm going to make chili for my coworkers. and give them both barrels.

1.-"Oh boy, do I love CTF, hehe" 2.-"Haha, yeah, I love Capture the flag too." 1.-"..." 2.-"You meant capture the flag, right?" 1.-"O-oop y-yeah capture the flag m-my favorite g-game..." 2.-"..." 1.-"please turn me into your cock..." 2.-"what?" 1.-"N-NOTHING..!" 2.-":3"

i hate christmas i hate christmas i hate christmas it's so fake stop it STOP STOP STOP AAAAAAAAAA I'M GOING TO GRINCH

why do I always lose lane in deadlock with this friend of mine? *watches his gameplay* oh he only fires his gun if he's holding right click. no wonder he's so fucking oblivious AND unable to track targets.

christmas is the worst, most fake, most obnoxiously forced holiday. my store is pushing halloween shit into clearance BEFORE OCTOBER, fuck christmas and fuck you if you like it

idk etiquette how bad should i feel about missing a message at around noon asking for someone to cover closing *that day* on my day off

TTRPG setting idea: You are members of the Ground Containment Crew for Kaiju Response. You aren't fighting the Kaiju, you're combating its... effluvia. The collateral damage and parasitic/symbiotic hangers-on attached to the monster.

comm for @kazgarok.bsky.social

"The chances of a bimbo exploding are like... small, but never totally zero!" Wherever could that plug have gone? A li'l 'constipation kink' thing to shake the rust off, because why should that mawile have all the fun? #susfishous-fishsona #fakies #bimbofication #nbpreg

It is potato soup time i think. Yes...

Stalking Fang thinks all his party members are effeminate because they can commune with the elements and the dead, he's the only guy with sensible skills like "set trap" "plan ambush" "fight dirty" "leave no survivors". He keeps being surprised they can make ghosts do more than give advice.

It's kind of astounding how incompetent the planogram corporation is like. At every turn they are just unaware of how big the items they prescribe to fit on shelves are. And that is their SINGLE job. To know how big items are, to maximize shelf space. And they're wrong about every single one!

I'm too proud of this to keep it locked up forever but if you want to actually see the details you'll have to check my substar But behold Stalking Fang, Alchemist Toxicologist

An idea I have loved ever since seeing @renolethyn.bsky.social 's sketch of it, is anthro living ships from No Man's Sky, and I finally did my own rough rendition of the idea, in a few flavors I am being the change I want to see in the world which is more horny NMS art

what a THING to typo wow

Remember if you are at a grocery store with one of those member reward things and they want your phone number, but you don't want to give them your number, remember thanks to Alex Call and Jim Keller, Jenny has your back. your area code and 867-5309 will almost certainly work.

we had that, y'all dumbfucks shrieked about the male gaze and objectification until we stopped

Also @posmnaut.bsky.social drew this rendition of the Wagie Eyeball, and it's way better than my shitty sketches I'm going to defend my shitty sketches by blaming my wack pencil 30% and I haven't used paper to draw on in nearly a decade, though.

Also @posmnaut.bsky.social drew this rendition of the Wagie Eyeball, and it's way better than my shitty sketches I'm going to defend my shitty sketches by blaming my wack pencil 30% and I haven't used paper to draw on in nearly a decade, though.

Also if you work for whatever the actual company it is that designs all the planograms for retail stores? Actually please die. You have never been in a store. Nothing fits on shelves the way you think it does, all your measurements are wrong, bags of anything do not sit still. shinde kudasai

This job is obnoxious because I've DONE this shit before? Like I did the retail gig already. And it did NOT kick my ass like this in a store four times this size. I used to solo haul entire swing sets and above ground pools in boxes. Now I'm crippled by fuckin... laundry soap.

I"m in charge of the fridge and freezer at work now apparently

so there's this really cool app I think you should try out

wagie eyeball stop making me stock waffles. were full. send more freschetta pizza

I've barely drawn in like three weeks now and you the worst part is... I don't really WANT to. It doesn't bother me. I'm tired 'n shit but mostly stressed about things I owe but it's not ... I don't miss it. It doesn't do anything for me anymore.

I was crashing out last night but I mostly still think everything I said but like, maybe dialed back 15% Being interrupted so consistently, frequently, really infuriates me :) and it's only people who refuse to use PTT

finally snapped and server muted a voice-activated subhuman who interrupted me while i was talking because these troglodytes have never had a conversation it seems and can't shut the fuck up while you're mid sentence

The new Skate game looks fire

🛹🛹🛹🍈🍈🛹🛹🛹

I want a van so I can airbrush a wizard on the side But the wizard is ripped and the top part of his staff is also a big machinegun and he's got an elf babe hugging his leg and she's got HUGE boobs and she's wearing an American flag bikini and maybe there's an eagle in the background or something

fuckin...8am shifts. dont even feel like i have enough time to enjoy coffee

anyway butthole! large, hairy, multiple balls. dicknipples. hair all over.

so since rejoining the normal workforce i have realized i am. pretty zen now. i guess. or just jaded? things that would have overwhelmed or upset me even five years ago I just can't even register now. finding the positive is simple. idk what is going on.

Well, if you insist~<3 Art by @renolethyn.bsky.social colors by a friend~

i should draw a large, round, soft butthole. however, i am coming off my first full 'real' work week in like 7 years, so I am going to drink these tallboys and play path of exile until something interesting happens

this happens at least twice a week looking at this app

i got my shirt

most horrible situation to have to puke is "I ate a little too much barbecue and when I laid down my stomach pushed on my gag reflex" cause like you dont even feel queasy or nothin. everything's gucci and you go horizonal and your stomach goes "lmao nope try again dipshit"

I want a van so I can airbrush a wizard on the side But the wizard is ripped and the top part of his staff is also a big machinegun and he's got an elf babe hugging his leg and she's got HUGE boobs and she's wearing an American flag bikini and maybe there's an eagle in the background or something

Since World Tuna Day is part of Mayternity, have a knocked up bimbo fish! Tuna Soda: It's made with real fish milk! (imagine Calpis/Calpico but with a tuna flavour, even if you'd rather not imagine that.) #susfishous-fishsona #fakies #bimbofication #nbpreg

If there's a competition for "stupid ways to burn yourself" I'm in the running right now I'm smoking some stuff and a hot chunk of ash fell out of the bottom grill vent and I stepped on it barefoot so now I have a burn on one of my toes.

also you know what I got a gripe about a hyperfur th ing You can't call it "hyper butt" if the legs get longer. that has to stay the same size, ok? If they're 85% leg that giant ass doesn't count as hyper ass that's just hyper leg.

scooping peanut butter out of the jar with strips of beef jerky, dabbing it in a bowl of dried fruit before eating it

I feel really bad doing this but I'm just going to wave my tip jar donate.stripe.com/eVa5n03pk8Hi... I'm working on commissions as best I can but the heat has me so sluggish I'm struggling to think straight. I'm breathing weird just cleaning up around the apartment. Anything helps.

feels like my feet are walking right on bone or something auguh