OK, so Bond has survived plenty of explosions before now. The problem is surely that he still could never leave that island. But it has wifi, yeah? He just has to work remotely, like he's got the 'rona.

A radio programme like the Shipping Forecast but it’s called Bin Day and it just reads out every single council in the country’s bin schedule

Maybe Keir should demand the heads of major US news networks any time they imply Britain is on the brink of civil war or that we live under sharia law. Or does it not work both ways?

The supposed leader of the free world just read out “I, and state your name…”. I mean, when are the aliens coming? bsky.app/profile/acyn...

Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.

Explain a film badly: Factory owner with unpaid workforce taken from their homeland oversees a series of industrial accidents, primarily with child victims. Seeks to avoid liability by gifting business to survivors of facility tour, simultaneously causing roof damage.

When I’m asked about my favourite Elizabethan playwright, record shop and musical genre.

They say you should never return to a firework, but as a result of that I'm rapidly running out of staff at my firework shop.

Spray tan = $150 Waxing = $100 half leg, $200 full leg Complimentary prosecco 🥂 Walk-ins accepted!! 💝

Interesting that the judge notes that it is a "political belief" Robinson holds and then proceeds to call it a "protected characteristic". Even though political beliefs are not in fact protected characteristics under the Equality Act – only philosophical ones are. Somewhat gives the game away.

My mirror’s broken

25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week. www.thepoke.com/2025/11/05/2...

The Tim Bandits

Bloody foreigners coming over here and saving peoples lives.

This is so on-the-nose that I feel 100% that they're aware @michaelspicer.bsky.social has done this already. www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9Ph...

The real ad

She is telling an accurate story of recent history - the triple punch of austerity, Brexit and covid. It's spot on. But it is terribly strange to say it now in government when you were not prepared to say it in opposition.

mugger: *points gun* your money or your life me: sure thing *hands him my id* you got 2 kids and didn’t actually understand the matrix mugger: no i mean- me: *already running away* you’re late for steph’s recital

Spoiler alert: Judging by this photo, someone dies in the new Paddington musical.

The New Yorker have somehow made one of the greatest comedy skits in British television funnier through idiotic editing

You’d need a heart of gammon not to laugh…

This from @lewisgoodall.com

Writing jokes on LinkedIn now

So sad to think about the demise of Rentaghost, but they just failed to keep up with the times and were ultimately subsumed into Deliverghoost.

Commuting into London when it’s half term, Friday, hallowe’en and wet

Watching E.T. when I was younger gave me unrealistically high expectations about hallowe'en. It also lulled me into a false sense of security about the man who hides in my shed and eats all my M&Ms

Watching E.T. when I was younger gave me unrealistically high expectations about hallowe'en. It also lulled me into a false sense of security about the man who hides in my shed and eats all my M&Ms

E.T. (1982). Dir. Steven Spielberg

"If Mamdani is elected... New York will look more like London. You go to London right now and it is largely Muslim. Women are completely covered up." In other news, here is ACTUAL London 2025: Women MPs in Westminster, Cancer UK's charity Run for Life, London Pride, and Lionesses' victory parade.

Me on 31 October, deciding whether to give all these sweets to trick or treaters or save them for myself.

I'm dressing as the time you accidentally called your school teacher "mummy"

Sadly, bottoms are rarely seen in the wild these days

Sadly, bottoms are rarely seen in the wild these days

Quote post with your favourite reaction gif of all time

Stay vigilant

Whether orchestrated or not, its notable that UK gammon outrage is seasonal. The number of protestors outside hotels has dropped significantly since end of the summer holidays, and as the days have got colder. But now, the ire is directed at the adverts on TV screens inside the racist's warm home.

Had French onion soup cooking for the last 10 hours.

Read that quote in the voice of Yosemite Sam.

Me (doing my online shopping): Just 1 leek please Sainsburys:

Roses are red, violets have nectar …

The whiter the area the more likely it is to have a Reform problem. Immigration isn’t the problem, otherwise you’d get Reform in more diverse areas - it’s fear of change among older people.

Roses are red, violets have nectar …