Whoelsebutalf
@whoelsebutalf.bsky.social
📤 322
📥 95
📝 190
Comedy writer
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Several chances to catch me in Leicester in 2025.
about 1 year ago
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Just popped up on my Facebook memories from 2020. Use the words at the bottom to complete the Puns. Every year I do a Christmas quiz for my family to do and this year I did a pun round (not all my jokes mind).
about 8 hours ago
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[Neighbour looking over fence]: What are you growing this year? [Me, shaking pack over garden]: It's going to be a Dorito Tree.
4 days ago
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"Wow man, congratulations, you're on fire at the moment!" "Cheers buddy, i'm not sure how I keep doing it" ~ Spontaneous Combustion World Champion
4 days ago
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The person most likely to criticise the Air Conditioning on the set of 'Saved by the Bell' is AC Slater.
11 days ago
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I was meant to be giving a wild Boar a skin graft today and ended up making a pig's ear of it.
11 days ago
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Wife: Why do you always over-complicate things? Me: 8/16 men do exactly the same.
11 days ago
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Not bothering with decorations this year. Just hanging up all my Christmas jumpers instead.
#christmasjumperday
#Christmas
#Christmas2025
11 days ago
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Here's a little video I had filmed recently in Liverpool at Hot Water Comedy.
youtu.be/0A_vixQGtnc?...
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Alf | One Liner Prop Comedian - Hot Water Comedy Club
YouTube video by WhoElseButAlf
https://youtu.be/0A_vixQGtnc?si=BfJ4KZyAo5JApPDE
16 days ago
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Went to see Tim Vine in his new film Rocker 'Brella Fella this evening, it was delightful. He even did a Q&A afterwards and stayed around to sign stuff and take photos. If you get a chance to see it you will definitely leave smiling.
24 days ago
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I recently got to perform at @HWCCLiverpool in Liverpool and it was great. Here's the video!!!!
youtu.be/0A_vixQGtnc?...
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Alf | One Liner Prop Comedian - Hot Water Comedy Club
YouTube video by Whoelsebutalf
https://youtu.be/0A_vixQGtnc?si=2VdIyVA2PK2ciPUa
25 days ago
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Like a Persian. Selling rugs for the very first time....
about 1 month ago
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Bringing my WIP Leicester Comedy Show to Plymouth on Thursday, tickets available below.
www.outsavvy.com/event/30456/...
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Comedy @ Union Corner: Alf “Goat Fridge” Tickets - Plymouth - OutSavvy
Next up at Union Corner is bonkers comic Alf performing his show “Goat Fridge”.Alf: A gloriously silly and hilarious one-liner prop comic. A multitude of achievements under his belt including: ‘So You...
https://www.outsavvy.com/event/30456/comedy-union-corner-alf-goat-fridge?fbclid=IwdGRjcANsr2pjbGNrA2yvR2V4dG4DYWVtAjExAAEedoqQpu-w2IWYd9LW9MkTpaL5EC50KoEGRh3DP8K_IXfZ0_M_2oSVAyLaxwc_aem_hNeUkfIkcDlVv4jwK6Kdhw
2 months ago
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It may be pronounced 'Milled Wholegrain Wheat' but it's actually spelt flour.
2 months ago
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You may know me as the guy that pulls the ropes in your local church tower. Ring any bells??
2 months ago
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I refuse to buy size XXXL overalls, I don't want to be funding Big Farma.
#LunchPun
2 months ago
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I've been in a very low place these last few weeks. What can I say, there's nothing quit like a holiday in the Netherlands.
2 months ago
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I was actually raised behind bars. My parents sure loved that pub.
2 months ago
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The recycling lorry has refused to take some of my props before. This time, they're really taking the biscuit.
2 months ago
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It's a month since I released my hit song called 'The King of Prague'. I should soon be getting a royalty Czech.
2 months ago
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I know he's 86, but my granddad's always had the bones of a 20 year old. Buried under his patio.
2 months ago
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Trying to check myself into a clinic for people who are sexually obsessed with Elton John. The computer in reception has just asked me to 'Enter Reg'. .. This isn't getting any easier.
3 months ago
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I'm currently reading a book called "Things they don't teach you at Harvard Business School". It's mainly about Crochet.
3 months ago
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I lost my Job with 'Mountain Rescue' for being too vague with directions, but that's neither here nor there.
3 months ago
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Had a nice time at the New Material night in Plymouth last night. Here's a short snippet of some stuff I did.
loading . . .
3 months ago
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You can take your euphemisms and stick them you-know-where.
5 months ago
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Just started trying to organise my 2nd Joke book. 😀 So far, I've done page 10.... that's it.
5 months ago
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Oooo what's this?? 😃
5 months ago
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- Hello, i'd like to buy this 'Beginners Guide to Haggling', how much is it? - That's £5. - I'll give you £8 - Ok, then. [Me, smuggly] - On second thoughts, I don't think i need this book afterall.
5 months ago
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I was once voted the World’s Worst Owl impersonator. I couldn’t give two hoots.
5 months ago
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I was at the diarrhoea world championships and someone tried offering me performance enhancing laxatives, so I took one for the team.
6 months ago
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Among the JFK files about the Assassination that Donald Trump released there was also a page from my next joke book. Thankfully it seems to have been heavily redacted. You sir have made yourself a very powerful enemy. 😡
9 months ago
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If i'm being completely honest, I have no idea what the term 'Plead Ignorance' means.
10 months ago
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Just got a job doing testing at the Rubik's Cube factory. Well it's better than just sitting around twiddling my thumbs.
10 months ago
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People often tell me i'm the most Sceptical person they've ever met, but I find that hard to believe.
10 months ago
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You'll never guess who has just been arrested for smuggling gold leaf. Gilty!!
10 months ago
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I think I know how to make a curtain pole shorter....... well sawed off.
10 months ago
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Went to a doily factory yesterday. Perfect for frill seekers.
10 months ago
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I've been invited to a party for the Royal Society of Village People.... well I assume that's what the RSVP is.
10 months ago
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If Bike is short for Bicycle does that mean Mike is short for Micycle. Or is Mike short for Microphone meaning Bike is short for Bicrophone. Please give this a licycle 😄
10 months ago
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Some bands have taken the term 'merchandise' a little too far. I mean, they haven't even put their band logo on there.
10 months ago
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I had 3 cans of red bull and 2 bags of Haribo yestrrday, before heading to the Trampoline park. I was bouncing off the walls.
10 months ago
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To the Guy who just tried to sell me Mini Jenga, I know what your little game is.
#UKPunday
11 months ago
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My brother started working for Mecca at the beginning of 2023. I wonder how that's bingoing.
#UKPunday
11 months ago
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I struggle to eat burnt bread. I’m black-toast intolerant.
#UKPunday
11 months ago
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Of course I know who Newcastle's greatest Goalkeeper of all time is. That's a Given.
11 months ago
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reposted by
Whoelsebutalf
Several chances to catch me in Leicester in 2025.
about 1 year ago
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My Hair salon has taken on 2 new stylists this week. The team are really starting to Gel.
11 months ago
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My mate is now Self-Identifying as a Vampire. I think he needs to take a good look at himself in the mirror.
11 months ago
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It's that time of the year again, where you've finally finished all the Christmas biscuits and all you've got left to dunk in your coffee is Roast Potatoes.
11 months ago
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[Comedian tells a joke] Me: LOL [Micky Flanagan tells a joke] Me: LOOL
11 months ago
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