and now the toughest part. tryna figure out how to draw positions for a running animation.

thinking about how this'll be my first time having to face cold and flu season alone. because of my asthma, needless to say, i'm terrified. how do people live like this..?

i really need to stop reading horror stories about the downsides of living in an apartment/flat because it's making me feel unsure about my current living situation and just wanting to go back to living full-time at my parents house.

with all due respect, PERISH.

yes. i'm still doing the thing. i'm gonna quickly send a formal apology to all mothiva fans in advance.

feeling like i need to fix a drawing i posted since it was rushed, so there's mistakes, but it's probably pointless to do that now.

yeah. this was a bit rushed. whatever. i tried my best. #bugfables #art

got these big monster claw slippers. my inner child is satisfied.

i swear i heard fireworks outside. it's not even fully dark out yet. i want to run away, but i feel there's nowhere to run to.

it's past 10pm and fireworks are STILL going off. i want to scream. someone please get me out of this nightmare.

got startled by fireworks and dropped my phone directly on my big toe, causing me to crumple on the floor, wailing in agony. how was your evening?

me: i think i might actually have enough time and energy to draw today for once the supposedly quiet day that ended up being really busy out of nowhere: hello there >:^]]]]]]

tbh, a reason why i don't often post lineart WIPs is because i usually tweak it a lot between the initial lineart and the full thing and i worry that if i post just the lineart progress and change it later on, people will think i'm faking it.

drop something yellow

ah yes. that theme. if you know, you know.

welp. here's hoping this burst of motivation doesn't go to waste (it probably will)

tfw drawing idea happens but no energy to do it. shame, because the idea i had was kinda funny.

wanting to sleep but i swear that this acid reflux i keep getting is straight up trying to kill me, but not without a little bit of torture first, just to increase the suffering i have to endure. why can't my body just learn to work normally and not do this stuff? things would be a lot easier.

ugh.. fireworks are going off

thankfully nothing's gotten me yet, but it's the time of year where i fear for my life even more than normal. hopefully my asthma will behave this winter, but with the effects general stress has on my immune system and stuff, i don't see that happening.

so, the dinner with my parents went well. they were very proud of me. i feel relieved that it all turned out ok.

i might not be able to do any halloween drawing today. i've got my music session during the day and i'm gonna be busy this evening because i gotta prepare for my parents coming over to my place for dinner tonight. shame, because i wanted to be able to draw at least something.

gonna try and sleep now. here's hoping i don't wake up at an unreasonable hour feeling like i was force-fed burning coals because acid reflux.

if suffering is supposedly meant to build character, then where is my character arc where i get cool powers and all that stuff?

been chugging down lots of peppermint tea because my stupid acid reflux is acting up again because of how stressed i've been lately. shame, because i thought it went away for good last time. i must be cursed or something.

i wonder if it's worth it to try and do a quick halloween drawing in time for tomorrow. i would've done more throughout this month, but i've been too tired and not had enough time in between being busy.

oh. so that's where he's been all this time. i wondered what that smell of decaying mushroom flesh was..

feeling tempted to just restart my island in ACNH, but there's certain things i don't think i can get anymore and i don't wanna lose them. (the pocket camp items, specifically)

huh.. i thought ACNH was long dead by now. i mean, i did hope that if ACNH somehow got a last breath after 2.0, one day they'd bring back crossover villagers and not just the sanrio ones and more collab items from other games, so i guess my wish got granted. neat.

sometimes i wonder if the only reason i'm still somehow surviving is because a lot of the time, i am basically the "too angry to die" meme in some way lmao

and now i have a headache going on. can stress-induced pain and general discomfort please just leave me alone.. FOR 5 MINUTES?! that is all i am asking.

sorry, i can't lock in, but i can potentially unlock out, whatever that means.

and now we play the game of "does my tummy hurt because anxiety or am i actually unwell?" causing both the anxiety to increase and my tummy to hurt more as a result, making me even more convinced something is wrong and working myself up into a full-blown panic. what a nice way to wake up..

i wish i knew how to be a more chill person who is nice to be around, but there's just so much happening that makes me upset. maybe i haven't learned at all from my past mistakes caused by emotional outbursts no matter how hard i try to make up for them.

good soup

you ever just say you're gonna have a "quick nap" to reset, but then you end up being asleep for like 3 hours or something? yeah. that happened to me today.

wishing i could play the sims but i just feel kinda bad about it given all the stuff EA has done. dunno if i'm overthinking it or whatever.

getting so many ads promoting AI no matter how much i go out of my way to use adblockers, different browsers and do stuff with my phone's settings. i think i'm at the point where i'm gonna get actually violent if this keeps up.

uhhhhhhh don't ask why i drew this

just finished a certain sidequest in bug fables. all i can say is wHO IS CUTTING ONIONS IN HERE?!?!,,!?

tfw feeling homesick when at my new place, yet when i do visit my childhood home, it's just so jarring even though nothing much has changed. i guess i'm at that weird phase in the moving out process where i don't quite know what "home" really is.

realising a reason i'm so tired all the time is probably due to feeling like i have to be hypervigilant 24/7 even if i realistically shouldn't have anything immediate to worry about

hearing coughing in another room even with my earplugs and noise-cancelling headphones on with ambient sounds on my phone and now i'm at the point where i want to go into a blind rage because of this. i feel bad that i'm like this, but idk how else to handle it because i've done all i can.

just woke up because my body currently feels like one of those video game levels that's half ice and half fire. i just wanna be at a comfortable temperature, please.

feeling very disappointed in myself that i can't really do the things i've wanted to (drawings for certain events, for example) because of low energy from moving out and the emotional process of tryna figure out what "home" really is

still waiting for that time i enter that "idgaf" era i've heard so much about. doesn't seem to be happening any time soon, tbh.

wondering if to get a spare set of joycons just in case the only non-drifting set i currently have end up drifting or if i should just get go all-out and just get the switch 2 instead when my current joycons do drift and put my OG switch into retirement.

having another urge to either delete all my posts or make a new account and delete this one

coming to terms with how all the crappy stuff in my life are all just supposedly canon events and i just have to cope like nothing happened

still wishing i was a bit taller. i mean, what even are the practical advantages to being short? i can barely reach stuff and everything just seems too big for me most of the time.