Three people at work told me I look like Billy eichner. No hate to him but I’m going to walk into traffic

Every time I open an app it’s like “congratulations! We’ve installed a new stupid ass piece of bullshit that no one wants or needs or asked for! Share with your friends that we’ve already spammed!”

In Jesus name, we gay

Schizophrenic neighbor just slammed on the wall, opened the front door and screamed “I can hear your fucking alarm how dare you”. Bitch the alarm was YOU. No one sets an alarm for 6:53

There’s a millennial ghost in my house and it won’t shut up about harry potter 😔

It’s always “the next big thing” without describing exactly how big or how trapezoidal

Tony Blair is my sleep paralysis demon

I’m about to Oedipiss myself

How I beat majoras mask as a kid I’ll never know. This was hard af

Are you going to valenwood this summer

If Romeo and Juliet had a baby what would they even name it? Jomeo or some sh?

Turns out she’s schizophrenic

Just one little difference. When Kirk got shot there was a government sponsored memorial with pyrotechnics. When other citizens get shot they don’t even condemn it.

Franch toast

The outfit I picked out for new years doesn’t fit even a little. Fucking vibe killer

Downstairs neighbors are banging on the ceiling like I’m being loud but I haven’t moved from the couch in over 30 minutes

Working “bounce on it” into any sentence has had a chokehold on me today

That’s it. I’m deleting South Carolina

Vowed to drug myself so I could sleep yet I’ve forgotten once again and have reached the end of the doom

Tonight’s banger dream was that I was living in a medieval castle as a medieval person until we fought a battle, we thought we had won, until AI powered androids forced everyone out

Just had a dream there was like this gooner gameshow thing at my apartment and now I have a business idea

I’ve just awakened from a dream where I went to a y2k inspired camp and it was mad cool. Now I’m sad

Elphaba threw the first yellow brick at stonewall

I’m starting a tea company called Faggo

There’s no orc yaoi on YouTube

I had enough clowning around

they call me the captain cause I blow so many guys to smithereens

If you rub the cooter of today you have nothing to fret tomorrow

I’m soft launching waking up sweaty

This platform reminds me of the early days of instagram where everyone had their niche and specific hashtags that I fully did not understand but figured it was good natured. #nostalgia #fatbussybrothers

Jamaican version of The Thing called The Ting. I think it would do well

The good thing about vampires is that they can remember historical events accurately. Instead of ChatGPT, ask a local nightcrawler

It's COCKtober 🍆🎃 u know what that means 👀👅 DICK sucking awareness month 😯🙆🏼👅 send this to 12 of ur closest hoes 👭😈 that love that DICK 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦 🎃🎃 THOT-O-WEEN 🎃 is upon us !! If you get this message ✉️ you are queen 👸 of the thots!!!

I don’t wanna have to hide autistic trans people in my attic! How annoying is that gonna be ffs! Yes, the nazis can hear your fka twigs from up there

How I foresee the US in near future. Civilians will disappear. The loud voices against the administration. Because a lot of the loud voices are still right wing it will again be used against the left, although the left is not in power. Civilians will carry out violence amongst civilians. (1/?)

These are the people who made piñatas of a lynched Obama. The people who said “blow up everyone in the Middle East” (quote from a kid in middle school). They say “transgenderism” should be punished. And now they’re going to act like they’re the civil ones when the violence strikes back at them

You can sleep now

I’m starting to think the messiah isn’t coming…

What happened to Caroline polachek?

I’m sorry to these men I don’t know who they are. But apparently I liked them

This is 2025

Me, a nerd, who can only imagine they’re talking about the Steam app, “yeah there are a lot of sales going on right now”

This life we live. It could have been an email

They were so quick with Mangione but we still don’t know much about the guy who shot Trump in the ear idk fuck it I guess

Two oysters a bagel and 2 double vodka tonics I’m ready to get this corporate trivia game started

A drag queen was mean to me again All is right with the world

Don’t go defying gravity, stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to

There were more lgbts at the Monday night Wicked than the Barbie movie

Day 154, Hot to Go is still stuck in my head

There’s a twink party at my house in an hour and they want “something newer than Brat” what does that mean??