Non-Smokey Bear
@linoleum.bsky.social
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https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaadunjlwwyxe
Shaming this dead hiker I found for violating leave no trace principles
16 days ago
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ACAB includes guardian angels
about 1 month ago
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Charlie Spurt
3 months ago
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If Mark Wahlberg was at Kent State, it wouldnât have went down like it did
4 months ago
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4
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âPeace lily? More like piece of shit lily.â *dropkicks plant across funeral parlor*
5 months ago
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âMy bulb is so wet right nowâ - a doomer talking dirty
6 months ago
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Trying to find the best ufologist because I donât want a botched vasectomy
6 months ago
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Support the toops, guys
7 months ago
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I like my women like I like my Sig Sauerâs - liable to go off unexpectedly
7 months ago
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TED Talk joi change my life
7 months ago
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ACAB includes ordering off menu
7 months ago
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Lysdexic fa
7 months ago
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I like my women like I like my Keurig K cups - aggressively toxic
7 months ago
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Pope Charlie XCX
7 months ago
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ACAB includes the Staccato P
7 months ago
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They call it the land of the free yet no one has developed a neck fan that doesnât interfere with the cheek weld on my AR
7 months ago
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Avoid the libertarian zoo. Itâs just one emaciated lion and a bunch of sunbleached skeletons
7 months ago
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New product idea - gray mayonnaise aka Grayonnaise
7 months ago
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This album is like twisted fantasy if Kanye realized that other people have feelings too
7 months ago
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The grocery store canât play Evanescence and expect me not to feel and express Big Emotions
8 months ago
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How is it that the kids eat free promo at Hooters is never on my custody weekend?
8 months ago
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The version of Clue where every room is a goon cave and every weapon a cuck chair
8 months ago
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Touch grass? Nay. Touch receipts until you have BPA coming out the wazoo
8 months ago
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Did you all know that the 5 second rule is a myth (except for liquids)?
8 months ago
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Switching everyone to Windows 11 during Autism Acceptance Month is definitely a mixed message.
8 months ago
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The best way to reduce microplastic intake is to eat animals lower in the food chain. This is why you should stop eating bear.
8 months ago
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Why carry a shotgun in a scabbard while bicycling through town? Because itâd get rusty if it was touching my sweaty, sexy, muscly back, your honor.
8 months ago
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They quit making the extra skeleton bone broth
8 months ago
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ACAB doesnât include cops with teeny, tiny badges
8 months ago
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5.11 Tactical should make a molle leash for hyperactive libertarians who keep wandering off
8 months ago
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TIL that, on the set of Ghandi, they called Ben Kingsley, Buns Kingsley, because his buns was poppin
8 months ago
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My character references all called me the âTed Lasso of Masturbation.â Theyâve never met.
8 months ago
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They should call them Grape Nutz to appeal to the youth
8 months ago
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Whatâs the point of having cum gutters if your friends arenât snorting rails of PB2 off them?
8 months ago
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Favorite pod? Popular Rump hosted by Cake Hanrahan
8 months ago
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Gender reveal tactical nuke
8 months ago
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Got kicked out of med school for calling double pneumonia âp-dubsâ
8 months ago
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Remember the episode of Home Improvement where he turbocharged his bidet then had to have surgery?
8 months ago
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You donât see penis gauntlets much anymore
9 months ago
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Iâm cuckoo for ergotism puffs
9 months ago
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If you think airbnb is bad, wait til you hear about anoxiabnb. Somehow even worse.
9 months ago
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ACAB includes your father
9 months ago
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I donât think sex is allowed at Kentucky Fried Chicken, yet here I am, eating Mikeâs Hot Honey Box.
9 months ago
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I like my women like I like my coffee, as far away from my beautiful Mormon body as possible.
9 months ago
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@michelenorris.bsky.social
the absolute aggression with which you grilled that homeland security fucker made my day đ«¶
9 months ago
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For a richer flavor, substitute water with whole milk while preparing heroin injection
9 months ago
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Today I learned the founder of Adidas was named Al Didas. Absolutely wild.
9 months ago
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Zebras look so made up
9 months ago
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How embarrassing. I just realized Iâve had toilet stuck to my shoe and mouth all morning
9 months ago
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They say 40bpm is slow but I think thatâs a lot of BMâs to do
10 months ago
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