Interesting challenge: Dr No From Russia With Love For Your Eyes Only The Living Daylights ?

In fairness, the last time Stephen King went for a walk, it didn't go well.

Heard the news about turbononce.

Unsolicited Flicks pics

Welcome back to "Give Us a Clue: Champions Edition" and it's Jon Pertwee next.

According to her biography, Tilly Norwood is an aspiring actor in her early 20’s based in London; meaning she is fighting off interest from talent agencies, and Leonardo DiCaprio #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes #humour #funny

Marketing firms say the shoeless environment at work is helping workers be more creative, while accounts say it helps with their productivity as they can now count using their fingers and toes #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes #humour #funny

The number of driving tests available in the UK is set to increase to help tackle the backlog of wannabe drivers. The DVSA said they hope plans will quickly pull away, but not before they check their mirrors and blind spot #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes #humour #funny

Prior to Tilly Norwood, if you wanted your lines delivered by a robotic representation of a human with completely artificial emotions, you had to cast Keanu Reeves #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes #humour #funny

Owning a pet is seen as a big green flag in dating as it's associated with kindness, responsibility, and being happy to clean up after someone when they've been sick on the floor. #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes #humour #funny

A 2000 year old ice mummy in Siberia has been found covered with elaborate tattoos featuring tigers and birds. Experts conclude the body art shows a well-travelled individual, especially the one saying ‘Magaluf AD42’. #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes #humour #funny

DPD drivers have been on strike this week in a dispute about payments. Union officials told management they can expect their demands some time between seven and seven on Monday or Tuesday #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes #humour #funny

Great episode of #BTN this week, though one where the guests made similar jokes to my submissions, and I got close with a couple, but no joy. Nine more to go (possibly ten) #WritingCommunity

John once again, fighting for the three camera sitcom in a way that I wish BBC execs would.

Chris is 12% of the way there. Help him get further, as when he gets across the line, we can all Port Salut him.

Still around £500 away from my day 1 goal. Please help today if you can www.kickstarter.com/projects/thi...

Last lines away to #BTN . All briefs and roundshit, and a new productivity level broken, 42 jokes written and sent. #WritingCommunity

First batch on their way to #BTN #WritingCommunity

In today's Old Man Yells At Cloud, the shop I went in was playing Chris Rea's Driving Home For Christmas. I can only presume he's driving an EV with range issues from Siberia.

Back on Newsbiscuit with a bit of #satire about the Tory Party Conference www.newsbiscuit.com/post/tories-... #funny #humour

My local cafe serves a thick mix of vegetables and gammon, which has some rich notes but is overall quite bitter. They call it Reform Soup. #jokes #humour #funny #satire

#ScotlandMovies The Wind That Shakes The Bucky

#ScotlandMovies How Greenock was my Valley

#ScotlandMovies Kilmarnock Bill

This week, on The Dunning Kruger Effect.

Next, a 300 page tome about Moneypenny taking minutes, choosing her lunch at Pret and emotionlessly clearing yet another 00's desk when they've been eaten by a trained shark.

Tweaking and honing my submissions for @britishcomedy.bsky.social , hopefully round two of #TheHouse will be better than the first #WritingCommunity

See also: Spitting Image.

Today's game of pigeon chess over on 🧵 was someone asking how gov.uk is marked as non-political, getting the same answer from multiple sources, and rejecting it based on them dogmatically insisting that working for the government makes the Civil Service political by definition

Last roll of the dice for this run of The Skewer sent. Still no luck, but I love the process. #WritingCommunity

Dedicated Follower of Fashion Film: The Silence of the Lambs

North Lanarkshire council revealed their half marathon last month that attracted 800 runners cost one hundred and twenty two thousand pounds. They apologised to residents for the high cost, and said it's the last time they get their PPE from Michelle Mone. #jokes #humour #funny

Officers in the Metropolitan Police could soon be made to tell bosses if they are part of the Freemasons. One constable who's a member said his superiors already knew, as they were the ones who suggested he join in the first place. #jokes #humour #funny

A baby bearcat named Boots has been born at a Wildlife Park in East Sussex. Despite their name, the animals are neither bears nor cats, leaving visitors as confused as some who come to the Edinburgh Tattoo. #jokes #humour #funny

Defence company QinetiQ has announced cutbacks at their weapon testing range in the Hebrides. It's hoped they can manage the downsizing through voluntary redundancies, but management haven't ruled out seeing some staff fired. #jokes #humour #funny

Patricia Routledge, what a career and queen of delivery. youtu.be/wisQQueMPxM?...

Goodwin grasps at strawmen to desperately argue his pathetic eugenic argument.

This is up there with the sociological representations in Bagpuss

Current cold situation. I now have such a viscous lining on my throat that I sound like Peter Serafinowicz in Black Books

Break a leg, or I'll do it after the show.

BBC News - www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cy... Firm linked to Baroness Michelle Mone must pay £122m after breaching Covid PPE contract, judge rules - BBC News I'm now very pleased I wrote a sketch this week featuring Michelle Mone as the punchline

If Guilty Feet ain't got no rhythm, Peter and John are going down.

Post a fictional comedian who definitely would accept an invitation to the Riyadh Comedy Festival.

September 30th/October 1st

My sketch from July's @treasonshow.bsky.social #comedy #funny youtu.be/q8oZg2edzwI?...

I went to a set that promised comedy with a touch of zen to reformed criminals. By the end, I knew the sound of one hand clapping.

My wood burner is whistling every time I use it. Apparently it's something to do with my Chimney Sweep #jokes #humour #funny

Dealing with the after-effects of the first properly cold night of the year. youtu.be/CQGW46B6x_4?...

Last bits of the series sent to Noising Up. #WritingCommunity