Do not even talk to me about predicaments

You know that thing that creators of things do where they tease the release of a thing? Well, I am formally doing the cryptic tease to let you know (cryptically) that I am going to reprint the Arcane Bullshit Oracle deck one day.

The bad news is you’re a total shithead, the good news is you’re an excellent candidate for entoiletfication

Somebody spilled lovedog all over the floor in here

Just some old school multinational petrochemical corporation shit for all you mucus clowns

Smells like love in here

sorry you are dead

This is just a regular post with absolutely nothing SICK or PERVERTED.

Who's up getting their disc herniated?

Remember, you don’t have to be a Marty Supreme. You can just be a Marty Okay.

what will they thing of next?

Merry tidings

I am all whimsed out

what's the move? we slumberin' or nah?

pls I brought you nitrogen and phosphorus like you asked for, I just want to what tree sex feels like

wibter wondreland

happy shambling along the lonely trail of bones to all who celebrate!

Banished, I'm afraid :(

I don't actually know anything about Jazz, so please argue amongst yourselves if I got my jazz words wrong! Here are some of my Jazz-themed wares, for the jazzmaster in your life.

You ever meet somebody and you can just tell that motherfucker's family has some slender, graceful old world hunting dogs? Like a Saluki or a Borzoi. Probably at least 2 of them.

Holiday classic I made with secretxsnake (instagram) many frostbitten moons ago. Maybe if enough people like this, we will make a new one?

can't wait to toil this weekend

I don't know what this is. Is this something?

have you ever even logged on? And, furthermore, hi. Hello. It is cyborg monday so you can obtain savings when you navigate to my .com domain. The prices are being degraded, denigrated, and insulted all over the place. We have absolutely belittled these prices.

T’challa is short for Timothee Chalamet

Sorry for the irony of hating the system, yet operating within it. I know contradictions are aesthetically unpleasant. Let's just focus on the economy! Go to my internet store and get deals, for the economy!

Listen, I have to tell you something about my website

oh, you're stuck in an endless cycle of yearning? Have you tried doing some consumerism?

it is such a great time to support small businesses, but even more important right now to support bad businesses, which are run by unqualified and unfocussed weirdos who went to art school and are terrible at business.

The word cleavage seems to imply that there was once just a single wide boob that was split or cleaved asunder, perhaps by lightning or a mythical blade?

Zuckerberg outlines exciting next phase for meta: “Now there is no sound, for we all live underground!”

more classic 'ween bullshit! Sorry I didn't make more new stuff this year. I was busy doing the spookiest thing of all, existing under capitalism. And remember, you have until midnight to obtain DEALZ when you TRANZACT on my HTTP webpage!

don't forget there is still time for evil, and by evil I mean E verything V ery Much I s L iterally on sale on my website

I just think the game would be a lot less toxic if everybody got a basketball

idk hallowween things Don't forget my important business moment happening right now on my web area

May be a meme of scarecrow. Hello it is time for the ULTIMATE shopping event of the year and it is occurring on my html site.

if you go to my internet domain you are in for some very ideal prices, because they have been altered due to evil seasonal festivities, etc and also because [most deranged and also sexy reason you have ever heard]

Grain

skeleton dump. I had hoped I would never have to do this, but I must inform you that I am having a sale next week. I know it is tasteless and immature to own an online domain (link in bio) and host an incredible sale (next week, Monday to Saturday). I can and will do better.

This is dedicated to my beautiful wife who sometimes makes indecipherable sounds out of her mouth while I'm thinking about important things like doric columns and the Swiss guard and dovetail joints (joinery in general,) and Hadrian's wall, and cool guitars, and sporting, and so on.

fog

do your birds or you are going out into the trainyard without a halberd.

old book in horror movie is no longer invited to family gatherings

halfway through spooky season and I haven't even posted a ghost or ghoul yet

My sweet, beautiful wife and I welcomed a powerful new foe/daughter one week ago today! Here are some more pages from the pamphlet they gave us at the hospital.

Hi friends I am welcoming a new baby tomorrow, I think! Here are some select pages from the brochure that mysteriously appears in your mailbox when someone in your household becomes pregnant

almost octuber, get ready for 31 absolutely TWISTED drawings of potatoes

We need a Marvel superhero who probably needs bifocals to look at their phone or read a menu, but they only have regular glasses so they just hold things really close and peer over their regular glasses.

Oh, the social media algorithm is an ever-tightening reward loop designed to extract every ounce of joy from my spirit and drive me insane? Pretty sure that’s what they said about reading the bible by candlelight.