more classic 'ween bullshit! Sorry I didn't make more new stuff this year. I was busy doing the spookiest thing of all, existing under capitalism. And remember, you have until midnight to obtain DEALZ when you TRANZACT on my HTTP webpage!

don't forget there is still time for evil, and by evil I mean E verything V ery Much I s L iterally on sale on my website

I just think the game would be a lot less toxic if everybody got a basketball

idk hallowween things Don't forget my important business moment happening right now on my web area

May be a meme of scarecrow. Hello it is time for the ULTIMATE shopping event of the year and it is occurring on my html site.

if you go to my internet domain you are in for some very ideal prices, because they have been altered due to evil seasonal festivities, etc and also because [most deranged and also sexy reason you have ever heard]

Grain

skeleton dump. I had hoped I would never have to do this, but I must inform you that I am having a sale next week. I know it is tasteless and immature to own an online domain (link in bio) and host an incredible sale (next week, Monday to Saturday). I can and will do better.

This is dedicated to my beautiful wife who sometimes makes indecipherable sounds out of her mouth while I'm thinking about important things like doric columns and the Swiss guard and dovetail joints (joinery in general,) and Hadrian's wall, and cool guitars, and sporting, and so on.

fog

do your birds or you are going out into the trainyard without a halberd.

old book in horror movie is no longer invited to family gatherings

halfway through spooky season and I haven't even posted a ghost or ghoul yet

My sweet, beautiful wife and I welcomed a powerful new foe/daughter one week ago today! Here are some more pages from the pamphlet they gave us at the hospital.

Hi friends I am welcoming a new baby tomorrow, I think! Here are some select pages from the brochure that mysteriously appears in your mailbox when someone in your household becomes pregnant

almost octuber, get ready for 31 absolutely TWISTED drawings of potatoes

We need a Marvel superhero who probably needs bifocals to look at their phone or read a menu, but they only have regular glasses so they just hold things really close and peer over their regular glasses.

Oh, the social media algorithm is an ever-tightening reward loop designed to extract every ounce of joy from my spirit and drive me insane? Pretty sure that’s what they said about reading the bible by candlelight.

Sorry for all the information!

The animals can sense that your heart is not pure, I'm afraid. Day 2 of sharing BRAND NEW ITEMS and THERE ARE MORE. Please go and peruse. Also everything is temporarily LESS costly, so let that fuel your appetites.

Thanks to everybody who came and visited my table at Fan Expo this past weekend. It was the nicest possible way to feel entombed in an endless brick of sweating human bodies! Some of the bodies stopped to talk, and that was lovely.

Starting next Wednesday, anyone can dress up as my original character “shit in his hair Sam” WITHOUT paying me the usual royalty of 8 million dollars

Here’s some already posted content for you on this Friday. Also a rare picture of me standing in front of things because I am at @fanexpocanada all weekend long, with my things. Come find me at artist alley booth B02!

If I were a wrestler, my special move would be to get really sad and then call my dad to come get me

Also, for example, there could be a blue crystal that gives you ice powers, red for fire, etc.

Frasier is pronounced like brassiere

To celebrate the coming of TUESDAY, here are several things.

They should invent a kind of baseball that has crying

tshirt sketches. Are these good? Is anything?

More parenting tips from my upcoming book "You are the Parent of a Child So Perhaps This Book is Relevant to You and You Should Open it and Read its Pages"

Big Josh news from the world of Josh! Tag a Jonsh (formerly Josh)!

“I whistled for a Jeff, and when it came near, the license plate said Jeff and there was a Jeff in the mirror” -Theme from The Jeff Prince of Bel-Air

sexy father time says YOU ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME but also let's fuck

the best part of summer is succumbing to the sand

Where are you on a scale from boink to boink?

Hey I didn't post anything for a while and it was nice but now I'm back so get ready for jokes that are more like ideas that are more like the loose, unfocused buzzing of a shirtless mind riding a weird horse.

Things and stuff and their consequences have been a disaster for the human race

My toddler keeps singing “Wayne, Wayne, go away” and maybe that’s just her pronunciation of “rain”, but I haven’t encountered a single Wayne in months

Mercury weiner is in retrograde. It is a medical condition.

blessings

I'm moving my studio after 2 and half years. This was a cool spot that I completely filled with insane junk, and it will be missed. I'm hoping to have everything up and running again by the end of the month, unless I decide instead to pursue the simple life of a potato farmer.

do you think the chicago bulls have ever considered changing their name to the "basketbulls"?

Do you remember when you were a kid running around a department store, disappearing in a rack of pants and dreaming about how simple it would all be if you were pants?

more little rough badge designs! Tell me which ones you like and I will leverage this data into actionable business insights. My shop is shutting down for a few weeks, starting Monday or Tuesday. When it comes back, maybe there will be new things.

Who deserves the most kisses?

Murphy the Molar said WHAT??? a few little half-finished things for you today

Lots of good press lately for short kings, but what of sopping wet kings?

Trying out this new tech detox! So far it has really improved my connection with the unrelenting ambient squeal of time.

If by “enriching" uranium you mean holding it tight, buying it small gifts, reading it inspiring stories, and giving it experiences it will never forget, then yes, idiot, I have been enriching uranium

Been seeing more and more of these. Don't get Grungled this grungle season!