We need a Marvel superhero who probably needs bifocals to look at their phone or read a menu, but they only have regular glasses so they just hold things really close and peer over their regular glasses.

Oh, the social media algorithm is an ever-tightening reward loop designed to extract every ounce of joy from my spirit and drive me insane? Pretty sure that’s what they said about reading the bible by candlelight.

Sorry for all the information!

The animals can sense that your heart is not pure, I'm afraid. Day 2 of sharing BRAND NEW ITEMS and THERE ARE MORE. Please go and peruse. Also everything is temporarily LESS costly, so let that fuel your appetites.

Thanks to everybody who came and visited my table at Fan Expo this past weekend. It was the nicest possible way to feel entombed in an endless brick of sweating human bodies! Some of the bodies stopped to talk, and that was lovely.

Starting next Wednesday, anyone can dress up as my original character “shit in his hair Sam” WITHOUT paying me the usual royalty of 8 million dollars

Here’s some already posted content for you on this Friday. Also a rare picture of me standing in front of things because I am at @fanexpocanada all weekend long, with my things. Come find me at artist alley booth B02!

If I were a wrestler, my special move would be to get really sad and then call my dad to come get me

Also, for example, there could be a blue crystal that gives you ice powers, red for fire, etc.

Frasier is pronounced like brassiere

To celebrate the coming of TUESDAY, here are several things.

They should invent a kind of baseball that has crying

tshirt sketches. Are these good? Is anything?

More parenting tips from my upcoming book "You are the Parent of a Child So Perhaps This Book is Relevant to You and You Should Open it and Read its Pages"

Big Josh news from the world of Josh! Tag a Jonsh (formerly Josh)!

“I whistled for a Jeff, and when it came near, the license plate said Jeff and there was a Jeff in the mirror” -Theme from The Jeff Prince of Bel-Air

sexy father time says YOU ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME but also let's fuck

the best part of summer is succumbing to the sand

Where are you on a scale from boink to boink?

Hey I didn't post anything for a while and it was nice but now I'm back so get ready for jokes that are more like ideas that are more like the loose, unfocused buzzing of a shirtless mind riding a weird horse.

Things and stuff and their consequences have been a disaster for the human race

My toddler keeps singing “Wayne, Wayne, go away” and maybe that’s just her pronunciation of “rain”, but I haven’t encountered a single Wayne in months

Mercury weiner is in retrograde. It is a medical condition.

blessings

I'm moving my studio after 2 and half years. This was a cool spot that I completely filled with insane junk, and it will be missed. I'm hoping to have everything up and running again by the end of the month, unless I decide instead to pursue the simple life of a potato farmer.

do you think the chicago bulls have ever considered changing their name to the "basketbulls"?

Do you remember when you were a kid running around a department store, disappearing in a rack of pants and dreaming about how simple it would all be if you were pants?

more little rough badge designs! Tell me which ones you like and I will leverage this data into actionable business insights. My shop is shutting down for a few weeks, starting Monday or Tuesday. When it comes back, maybe there will be new things.

Who deserves the most kisses?

Murphy the Molar said WHAT??? a few little half-finished things for you today

Lots of good press lately for short kings, but what of sopping wet kings?

Trying out this new tech detox! So far it has really improved my connection with the unrelenting ambient squeal of time.

If by “enriching" uranium you mean holding it tight, buying it small gifts, reading it inspiring stories, and giving it experiences it will never forget, then yes, idiot, I have been enriching uranium

Been seeing more and more of these. Don't get Grungled this grungle season!

buyonlionsonlion.com from the makers of buyscallionsonline.net and shallotseeker.org is my new sponsor and they have given me a million onions to create these beuatiful ads. Experience the Miracle of Onion, ONLINE!

hey I am shutting down my store in the next week or two so please go forth and purchase nonsense. It will be back, with even more stuff, at some point. I have to move, and it is very annoying and inconvenient.

Goop is even thicker than that, then maybe muck. I can do this all day. Happy father's day!

Am I the asshole for shrinking down the nation of Spain and putting it in my drink?

If he’s anything like me, all your dad wants for Father’s Day is for you to leave him the hell alone so he can take mushrooms with his boys and do silly bits

Some old things that I'm de-olding for my next sticker/pin drop! Sometimes my excitement to make things really dries up, but I've been recapturing that excitement again with the help of small doses of goop extracted from a potato I found on the sidewalk.

What is with men putting exactly 75 raisins in their old Birkenstocks then stomping around saying "squish squish, I am the raisin jam imperator????? I will NEVER understand this.

I love you happy friday. Also I will be at TCAF this weekend, selling things I guess. Also sitting in a chair. Come visit! And additionally, my studio is moving, so help me by purchasing discounted toting devices.

sad friend

Tag somebody who is weird and wet

While his career with the church did TECHNICALLY forbid him from marrying, my imagination indicates that Petrarch would probably sometimes do light over-the-shirt stuff with people of all sexual orientations and gender expressions.

There should be a country band that parodies Smiths songs, with titles like: This Farming Man Girlfriend in Oklahoma Some Grills are Bigger Than Others There is a Light that Never Goes Out (in my truck)

asunder

ask me about the ineffable tragic grandeur of the present moment

Slay king? Slay, king!

bunch of tote designs dropping/restocking later this year