Hunger is temporary. Loyalty is forever. Enjoy your Trumpy Meal.

Some turkeys are more pardonable than others

Wellness advice from village healer RFK Jr.

Take a tour of our new Congressional Assisted Living Facility!

What the DEEP STATE doesn't want you to know about J6

Wildlife experts hate this one trick

Trick or treat, smell my feet, watch democracy face defeat!

Welcome to the real Monster Mash!

BREAKING: Trump Admin announces new agency heads. No strings attached.

Hey Turning Point USA - Here’s an idea that we think you’re gonna love.

The FUR FLIES as Portland Turns Into a WAR ZONE!

Finally, a justice system that prioritizes REAL crimes!

Nothing says innovation like charging more for the same thing

From the makers of Baby’s First Tax Haven

Making healthcare profitable, one denied claim at a time.

Next up for MAHA: ibuprofen causes ADHD, Aleve creates allergies, and Tums triggers tourettes.

Speaking from a cow dung sweat lodge during a 4-day vision quest, Chansley promised to restore security protocols. He then removed his underwear, placed it on his head, and began chanting.

“Settle down, Cupcake,” the President said to a shrieking 16-year-old as he foisted a binder of mostly blank pages into her hands. “This beautiful Anti-Trans bill is gonna offer you and your hot little friends privacy and protection the likes of which have never been seen before.”

BREAKING: U.S. Government Throws Surprise "Final" Birthday Party for Social Security. "We wanted to make this birthday extra special," explains official while slowly pressing pillow down. "What better gift than eternal rest?"

"I simply applied standard corporate restructuring principles to optimize my viewing experience," the CEO explained. "Sometimes you have to make the tough decisions that others won't."

Place your bets on democracy's survival

Happy Labor Day to the few workers we haven't replaced yet!

Interstate Tariffs: a new way to punish states that voted wrong!

Nepotism: The Ultimate Participation Trophy

"I thought ranting about how much I think Barbra Streisand is an OVERRATED AND TALENTLESS SINGER would get people to stop talking about the Epstein List (HOAX)! But if anything, the more I try to get people talking about Streisand, the more people ask me about the Epstein List!”

Buy, Borrow, Die: It’s not a loophole. It’s a lifestyle.

To shift federal health priorities, HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced Tuesday, he is terminating 22 mRNA-development contracts and winding down similar biotech investments. “I have seen the future of eliminating respiratory viruses and its name is Urine Tasting… oh, and Maggot Therapy.”

The Man. The Myth. The Megadonor.

We made a film to make theaters a safe space for hunky white men again, and that’s our GOD-GIVEN right as Americans! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Homeland Security chief Kristi Noem promises "exciting prizes" for winning detainees, including 60 second head start on Alligator Alcatraz: Running Man reality show.

"I barged unannounced into the dressing room during rehearsals yesterday," the leader of the free world said. "And I was like, 'No thank you. Not my type.'"

New parental fear market just unlocked for fitness gurus

Watch us turn human misery into Q3 earnings!

"We're gonna really open up the books on this Loch Ness business and the Lincoln Assassination," claimed the President. "You know and there are still a lot of questions around the sudden, mysterious death of Betty White.  Lots of big stuff if people just drop this nothingburger Epstein hoax.”

“I’m not sure if there’s necessarily any practical application for this image-obscuring AI technology,” said GloboSlop CEO Tom Delvecchio. “It just sounded cool. Even though I doubt that I would even have occasion to try it myself, so let’s just not even tell my wife about this at all, okay?”

We tried to tell our truth. Then the fact-checkers came. So we built an AI that fact-checks back — with prejudice.

While you were busy bidding on cartoon apes, our favorite ketamine-fueled tech ghoul bought every Picasso, JPEG’d them into oblivion, and minted the ashes as NFTs. He calls it a public service. We call it the liquidation phase.

Elon’s America Party is the boldest political movement since the Citizens United decision. A party with: — No rules — No taxes — No apologies Just one unifying belief: rich men know best. We couldn’t be more aligned.

All he wanted was to bribe the President with gold bars and a jet.
Now his grandson is screaming, “Crypto hits different, Grandpa,” and buying $TRUMP memecoin off a Discord tip. Modern corruption is dumber, untraceable... and somehow more profitable.

Happy 4th to the land of the free -- from thinking. Today, we celebrate Independence from free thought, corporate governance, and the founding fathers, who definitely would’ve loved crypto.

She said, “Every child deserves a quality education,” then added, “if they can afford the subscription.” evilpac.org/betsy-devos-...

Alito says the pentagram was about microwaved fish. Sotomayor says it was up before that. Alito says, “It’s a Rush thing.” Then, mentions Santeria. This is normal. The Supreme Court is normal. #Satire #Troutgate #SCOTUS evilpac.org/justice-alit...

We are EvilPAC. Built in the shadows. Funded by the people who ruined your internet. #EvilPAC #BowToThePAC #Hyperwealthy #WeOwnEverything

Miss Black America 3rd place. Media maven. And now, aviation seating czar. Cargo holds never looked this good. 💅 🧳 #ThreeLeeTakesFlight evilpac.org/ashley-lee-l...

We tried to stop you from hearing this podcast. We begged the Deep State. We called the Koch brothers. But freedom won. So go ahead. Listen. Laugh. Overthrow your local HOA. 🎧 rss.com/podcasts/the...

The grift is complete.

A word from our Overlord:

Yes, we’re melting the planet, but we're not villains. We’re “industry disruptors.”

Student-debt forgiveness? We prefer character-building interest rates.