I went cycling and im Gonna try fasting tomorrow🤞let's see how it goes.

Meal prepping so far has been working

Didn't overeat today.. I'm doubtful cuz this always happens around the start of my period and it's not just me learning self control. I'll probably start overeating or binging in like 3 days. Let's hope not 🙏

I also haven't been throwing up or cutting or drinking as of late. Just the usual overeating

I'm ready to start meal prepping... (if I actually manage to wake up early tomorrow to shop and cook🐎🐎)

Always so uncontrollably hungry and then I remember I haven't had a single sip of water

Why couldn't I have the same metabolism of a 13 year old boy 🧍

Chudcel chudjak chud chud chud chud

We just played video games, watched a movie, and got to cuddle with her pets 🥳 couldn't bring myself to feel anyrhing romantic so even as friends this was okay

I went on the date and we didn't hookup. Honestly glad I didn't it made me realize I actually have some sort of self respect left, enough to not have sex with just anyone

I pro a ly shouldn't cyt myself the day before a hookup but idk I'll just wear a long sleeve

There's no fixing myself. I'm gonna return back to work in a few days and be my usual self and I'll see myself in the mirror and see the ugly disgusting monster that I am

Anytime I see a beautiful face I csnt help but want to end it all

It's 1:49am and I'm feeling hungry FUCK

Didn't throw up , didn't binge, and didn't cut today. Tomorrow? Who knows

The more I read of the side effects of eating disorders the less I care and the more I want to continue doing them. I've fully given up on myself, or at least accepted that it won't get any better than this

I feel sick. I'm just getting worse.

Made plans with the woman I've been talking to. I honestly don't want to but I need the experience and hopefully I don't freeze up and if it does happen she doesn't expect a relationship cuz we already agreed it wouldn't be long term 🙏

I wonder if I threw up again but just had the shower on and music playing anyone would hear me

Want to cut myself but afraid that if I do only grease will spill out

It's like I experience the 7 stages of hell all at once everytime I look into a mirror. I really want to die

I really wanna kms

Should a stranger even be my first time or does it not matter 😭

I really want to feel the touch of another woman but whenever I am presented with a real lesbian that's dtf I get intimidated cuz i have 0 experience and Don't know how to flirt and how do I even bring it up EVEN THOUGH THEY SAID THEY WERE DTF WHENEVER

Tummy hurts but I'm no longer in pain like I was earlier. It's sort of working as an appetite suppressant

Can't stop shivering and I feel so fucking cold

Woke up just to throw up violently into a bucket my organs hurt so much I don't know how to fix this it's like super painful

The eyes of someone who can down 4 cheese burgers and a 10 piece nugget meal and somehow still struggled to throw up

Officially relapsed on cutting myself and also I'm a massive binge eater there's no hope for me ☺️☺️😊

I am as dirty as the stains on my walls

You ever see someone so beautiful you start getting cut urges

Successfully drunk and happy

Time to get drunk :3

It feels so corny being sad I know if I said this stuff out loud I'd get made fun of or dismissed but got I literally can't take it and it's the only stuff my brain keeps telling me. I exist for nothing

I don't think I'm ever gonna experience love. I wish someone liked me enough to hug me even as a friend but I'm so disgusting I know no one would want to

I'm so tired I don't want to live anymore. Idc if I'm fat or skinny I just don't want to take care of myself because I'm ugly as hell either way

Sigh. I'm back on this god forsaken place

My feelings for her sort of died off though I had been having random day dreams but it was easy to push away But now I'm back to yearning and I really want her but even if she were into me it wouldn't even work out. I am very HOPELESS

How do I wake up in another universe where the person I like isn't straight and loves me and is attracted to me

They gave me only one day off next week but imma do OT so they can cut my hours in the weekend teehee

My stomach is so fucking bloated ugghhh

Alr no more alcohol for 2 week... and reducing intake.. gonna just drink monster and OMAD

Got super fucking drunk the fast was for nothing

Brother said we're gonna fast together tomorrow yippee

The binging never stops. I have been bloated for several days now. I can't stop myself from eating. It's become painful and it is suffocating me.

Lose 40lbs, get a better haircut, get a gf, be able go pose in the mirror and love what I see. That's all I want

I wanna top a woman just to cradle up like a little puppy in her arms afterwards

I'm so fucking drunk I'm so happy

I love you mentally ill people o love you I love you fuck anyone else who doesn't understand

I managed to do 20k steps yesterday.. probably won't be able to do that in a while but I'll stick to my 10k goal