Remember going down to watch the old Clapton, pre-Ultras etc, when I first moved to the area. Crowd was 30 max, and that's being generous. I turned up in good time but nobody was even bothering to take money at the gate. 1,712 is mad

Love the idea of pre-planned anger. Like he's in front of a mirror practicing his GRRRR face

You know there will be somebody going "I used to like them but now they've brought politics into it" too

Man City's thing of finding another gear in what I suppose you could call the 'third quarter' of games is impressive tbf. You think you've got them and then it turns out they've been spending half time taking turns to drink raw milk from Big Erling's special cows

Question for Irish Bluesky: I imagine Disneyland hits different if you're Irish? A quick Google tells me that the restaurant sells mickey-shaped pizzas, for example

A thought, right - you know this idea that swans look like they're gliding along serenely but they're actually paddling frantically under the surface? No they aren't

Another problem is that when you raise this online, you do get more "not all boomers! I'm 75 and I voted Remain!" than you get people saying "I see my peers doing this and here's what I think is happening" www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

Frank Lampard being quite dignified about taking Coventry up. Given the amount of stick he's had, a lot of it from me, he'd be justified in going the whole "who do you think you are? I am!"

A dream is a wish your heart makes update: last night I was at a festival watching Billy Bragg collaborate with an electronic artist. It was basically a load of beats and racket with him singing about England over it. I was there with a mate, my LM, her daughter, and a fascist I went to school with

Do comedians with loads of material about dating have to issue a kind of warning at the start of dates? "Anything you say or do may be used in a routine, even if this goes well, even if we work out longer term. I reserve the right to pretend the situation was worse or funnier than it was."

Wondering how many people who liked the Crazy Frog at the time are now considering voting Reform? The Jamster ringtone to racism pipeline

Re Geese etc, have we done "people think they discovered Angine de Poitrine on YouTube and shared the video, helping it go viral, forgetting the YouTube algorithm was the reason they saw the video in the first place" yet or is that next week?

Only ever the good ham. The kind you buy when it's yellow stickered. My toasties would always slap

Maybe all birds got together to threaten to sue Allbirds, who were not any of the birds let alone all of them

Watched Orient last night because the tickets were a tenner and I got my punishment for being a cheapskate because it was a proper "nobody will score if we play all night" 0-0. Almost as if they knew. Maybe if I buy a hospitality suite on Saturday the result will be, I dunno, 1-1

I know these are all a bit "the unstoppable march of time" but Eminem reaching his Meldrew Point hits harder than most. Wait, that must mean I'm... how many years old? Oh no

Somebody is going to have to explain to me why that Man City fan with his Arsenal water bottle is getting the attention he was obviously after. I saw it being referred to as an iconic image earlier - if that's what passes as an iconic image these days then we really are fucked

I'm not having the story around this man. He was told about it before, and why would you be this exercised about shoplifters in your supermarket? I did it for a year and if anything I would have celebrated my employers (his) being fucked over www.theguardian.com/world/2026/a...

a) said it before, saying it again, the Lou Bega version of Mambo No. 5 is about a man's attraction to his mum's mates. Rita? Tina? Sandra? Mary?? b) there were OTHER MAMBOS, it's named after the song it sampled you mambo amateur (mamateur)

Never mind that though, did some punters have absolutely no fun at all winning insignificant amounts of money betting on the horse race?

Never mind fare dodgers or shoplifters in supermarkets, they can do what they want, my gripe is with those people who get as far as the tube platform and then just fucking stand there right in front of the entrance

I post bad irrelevant takes every day so I'm going to do the opposite and take a brief holiday from them

STOP THEM www.theguardian.com/food/2026/ap...

I never approve of this. Took me years to get to watching Seinfeld because of the name

I am not standing for any "well yesterday was the summer then" stuff today. Same people who go "Great British Summer eh" when it rains on a day in July

How do I pitch my own "the music scene I was involved in a hundred years ago was very culturally significant, although you'd be forgiven for thinking it wasn't" piece to newspapers? I've read a few

Definitely been a couple of occasions in my life where I've said to somebody "hey, remember that drum 'n' bass remix of the Are You Being Served? theme tune" and they've reacted as if I've lost my mind

Listened to the new album by these guys earlier because I saw it was getting good reviews, enjoyed it, and thought "let's see if there's a live video on YouTube." It's possible that (viral, but I never know what's viral) video is exactly what you need youtube.com/watch?v=0Ssi...

"We need Toby to clear these lines for the PM to say to Trump to stop him pressing the button" "Toby logs off at 5 prompt on Tuesdays, drop him a WhatsApp and see if he picks it up"

Was listening to a psychedelic soul compilation today (their term not mine) and it struck me that the themes in a lot of that era's stuff are relevant now to the point where I'm surprised there hasn't been a revival. Ball of Confusion for example could have pretty much been written for today

Gone down to Southend today, sort of the seaside if you overlook it not really being the sea yet. People have either got the memo about the weather and are out underdressed (me) or haven't and are still dressed like they were in January

Today is the first sunscreen day of the year. Time to buy some Biore UV guys, the Watery Essence. I promise you that if you swap your Boots own brand Factor 50 cream for this stuff you will never go back

"It is available via live streams and downloads in this country without comment or vitriol from anyone" - that is bullshit Melvin

Trouble with the whole Last One Laughing business is that the first few episodes of it are much more satisfying than the rest, where you've got everybody in there and most of them are just fucking around. Nobody cares who wins the competition

Is Gavin Newsom the last well known Gavin? I don't think it's a "babies aren't called this anymore" thing because you meet fewer adults called Gavin too

Lol at the guy who's gone to the cheapest, most pub-grubby place in town and then has got upset because the dessert he ordered at the bar turned up while he was still eating his 'main'

Ted Leo for me here imo. Lot of people classifying him as an indie singer making an indie album but I don't think that's ever where he's coming from

Only realised today what "you make my love come down" means. I'm such an innocent

I wonder if you get biker mice that aren't from Mars, and if so, how they compare to the ones from Mars

It's like the assumption is that were this to happen, all would just go "OK fine, you win, matter is closed and we move on"

I decided at a Reading one year that the Rasmus were a group of beings called a rasmu and the whoa-whoa bit was the mating call of the rasmu

I did see Adele in a bar in Brighton. Not sure it 100% counts because it was a deliberately undersized venue - there was a bit of a buzz which is why I'd heard of her in the first place

Sympathies with everybody else who is about to be expected to eat a large hollow egg of cheap chocolate. Overrated food item

A group of lads in the pub, Chelsea and Arsenal fans, already discussing who will get who in the FA Cup semis. Guys, let's just wait until the end of the day eh. I give Southampton a chance today tbh, not saying they'll do it but I give them a chance

People are just going to be pointing at anything and calling it populist

Today's listening (other than the Land Before Time song about eggs) is the Sources P&P compilation. Pretty much all killer

A local man believes autistic people are “faking it” in a bid to take away the abundant riches promised to him by the government, sources have said.

Best tune about eggs youtube.com/watch?v=seP1...

Along with a thousand others here, I'd be well up for visiting Bob's Burgers. On a good day anyway, I'd want to check Bob was in

Maundy Thursday treat: the Legacy of Soul compilation. Barely a second wasted here