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Posts like this feel like they were designed to REALLY test my impulse control

Drop your crime fighting Catholics

Vance talking to Einstein: You should be careful when talking about science! Vance talking to Martin Luther King Jr.: You should be careful when talking about segregation! JD Vance & this entire administration are the living embodiment of the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

This is where the transition from 'fun' to 'responsibility' happens. Step 1: You're now someone's emergency contact.

I was successfully manipulated by bluesky posts into buying a pizza for dinner.

If you had asked me about the Strait of Hormuz a year ago, I would assume it was slang for some malt liquor beverage and a line of coke. Bartender! I'll have a straight line, with a shot of hormuz. Please and thank you.

Critters was cool, but Critters 2: The Main Course gave us this gem of an underutilized gif:

So we can shoot four people into space, around the moon, and safely land them back on Earth, but we can't remove one malignant narcissist pedofile from office? Someone's got to know how to do it. I'll give anyone 10 internet points if they can pull it off

All I want are breadsticks, marinara sauce, and for my body to stop hurting right now.

a much needed timeline cleanse for us all. pass it on.

I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords. Being better than our current leadership is a LOW bar to clear at this point.

If you see this show the energy you bring to BlueSky

Anyone else completely exhausted?

toke: real pizza also exists in my freezer

My apt had a good view.

Remember in the 90's when someone traded their integrity for some cash & everyone shunned them while calling them a sellout? We also hated posers. Unfortunately, "social media influencers" are both, and somehow they still exist. This post could be about anyone, but I bet you already thought of one.

My favorite thing about the sixth doctor was that he was a TOTAL DICK. Some people didn't like that, which is why he didn't last long. It's also ironic, since the first doctor was just like him, and people LOVED him. I loved Colin Baker as the doctor, and I am FULLY unrepentant about that.

In a hilarious technicality, chicken IS dinosaur meat.

I hear the kids are all about "looksmaxxing" now, which is a term I believe means trying to look good. Meanwhile, I've just invented "looksminning", which means I don't put much effort into my appearance in the hope that everyone will leave me the fuck alone.

The Producers for Sharknado: Shit! Write that down! Write that down! This will go GREAT in Sharknado 7! Side note: I apologize if this is how you found out there are already six Sharknado movies.

OPERATION: EPIC FAILURE IN FULL FORCE!

Has anyone seen my cocaine?

No one really knew how jacked Jason from Friday the 13th was until he started branching out into other movies.

The job market is pretty tough right now, so I'm entertaining possible new career paths...

Welcome to Budget Cooking... for lazy people. Today, we find ourselves in the discount section of the frozen meal isle of your local grocery store and... wait... do those 9oz chicken dinners have a Manager's Discount sticker on it?! JACKPOT! Load up, boys! We're set for the week!

I just wanted to shit-post about books, movies, video games, and nerdy computer stuff, but every day I read about some new fucked-up shit our government is doing with our tax dollars, supposedly in OUR name. I'm fucking tired.

Am I really a Linux person if I can make my desktop and all my apps look like I'm using windows? Fuck you, Bill Gates. I bow to your empire NO LONGER!

Are we still under the delusion that a REPUBLICAN-controlled congress is going to do anything at all here? They're literally the ones protecting her and trump. This is just more meaningless grandstanding to pretend that they're doing something. Let me know when actual consequences start rolling in.

Write banned books.

Linux users now:

This just in: Man who styles his look off of 70's gay porn stars, complains about all the gay men he's attracting.

The world needs a Snake Plissken now more than ever.

And there it is! OpenAI was on track to go bankrupt as they were never going to make enough money to offset the costs of running all those servers because not enough people wanted to pay to use their sycophantic chat bots. So guess what? You're going to be paying for it with your taxes instead.

It's once again time for me to have a para-social relationship with the internet! How's everyone doing?

I delete posts that don't get likes. I only keep the bangers with aura farming skibidi rizz!

The Republican Party IS a Nazi Problem - Everyone who isn't a Nazi.

I am the rest of the cursed monkey. Please give me my paw back so I can have it re-attached. I need it so I can throw the double bird at someone. You know who.

The angry space doctor guy? I love that guy!

If you solve the puzzle, it opens up like a door, and you'll find the Ark of the Covenant behind it... guarded by two six-foot scorpions.

Post your style icon

I don't like this because it makes her look so much cooler than she actually is. Like, I would pay actual money to look that good.

The Gen X urge to retire, open up an antiques store in Chinatown, and sell mogwai to unsuspecting morons looking for Christmas presents for their idiot children.

Having their Grindr accounts leaked.

Corruption is a good word, but I think a more accurate term would be Embezzlement, which, if I'm not mistaken, is a C R I M E.

In the old days, whenever we saw a bunch of people playing Vampire: The Masquerade, we'd go: "Look! It's a murder of goths!"

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim Release those god damn Epstein Files NOW ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cill.

My favorite is which ever one that was downloaded so much on Napster in the early 2000's that Lars Ulrich absolutely lost his shit and went on an anti-sharing ad campaign that may have introduced an entire generation to bit torrent. It was a magical time to be alive.

"Ahem..." - Spock