so uhh not really a vent post but i ended up doing a bit more on my hand and when i slept i layed my hand under my head ON MY PILLOW so now there blue ink on my pillowcase so i better wash that soon

fuck my life fuck everyone in it fuck everything its all just fucking with my emotions i cant even cry anymore why does this have to happen to me of all people why cant it happen to my annoying classmates they deserve it everything is stress and i have to live up to so many high standards that ive

the only way i can cope right now is just to draw the symbol of the female sex or whatever you call it all over my body and i cant even bring myself to do it after 2 of them my only ways to cope are physical and yet i cant even bring myself to do them

how am i a girl

ugh tomorrow i have to go to the worst place ive ever known i hate it there too many people too much stress if i ever feel like shit during the day then im kinda fucked tbh

why do my parents have to be racist

ive never looked at a photo of myself and been happy about it

im surprised i didnt have an identity crisis tonight wow

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toxic friends...

recently ive just constantly been feeling a sense of impending doom

fuck my life i hate it so much

kjldvcn xkmdzfsvxfld;zkvmxzfkmgnxjdfngbjsfhlidzfnblzdfjbwhywhywhwyhwhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywwhywhywhy no one irl understands me i fucking hate it i dont even think i can tell anyone because itll spread like wildfire

fuck my life burn it down it doesnt matter its just suffering

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finally home

So overstimulated ughhhhhh Too many little kids yelling and running around I wanna just cry

i dont feel like im a part of my body i feel outside i dont feel like i should have a body i look into a mirror and all i see is a stranger looking back

i want pain i want a knife inside

fuck my life people would be happier if i was never born to begin with

i feel guilty and stressed about everything at this point but then i feel like a lot of the stuff that i feel guilty/stressed about arent worth being stressed about and then feel guilty about it and its just a never ending loop and i want to cry but i cant

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck WHY AM I LIKE THIS

i want to die. when i feel like this i cant get up to get a knife, it just results in endless suffering. all of the counseling im getting isnt helping. im just being a burden to my family, financially and mentally. if i could just end it i can stop being such a burden

why was i bprn people dont understand me i cant express myself why why why why why does it have to be me im too young to be dealing with this bullshit

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i try to say something but the words just wont come out

oh wow im still having an identity crisis yippee why cant i figure out who i am am i even a person why am i condemned to this suffering i dont know who i am whywhywhywhy i just want to die why identify as something that doesnt fit when i can be identified as dead by the paramedics

time is passing so fast i dont get time to savor anything i miss being a kid now i have too many responsibilities

i cant tell how i feel anymore, it feels like my emotions are heavily encrypted

please, somebody get me out of here; oh, please, somebody won't you get me out of here, oh!—you can get me out of here!

i miss my gf i wanna see her again

i want pain not even just as a way to cope i just crave the feeling of a knife cutting into me

im glad to finally know how i identify

every gender feels wrong agender feels wrong no title works

i feel like i have separation issues with my gf i get stressed when i cant talk to her when i feel like shit

wow um reminds me of that time in august when i felt like shit and played gd to calm down horrible move got 71% on acu and pushed me over the edge tried to suffocte myself youpi

so much stress i just wanna die just kill me already i cant take this anymore

i want pain i need the time do inflict it upon myself

ugh my parents were just talking to me about what i want (in context of transitioning) and i cant put into words what i want its like this for everything ugh and ive got an appointment with my parents and some doctors wednesday so i have to figure everything out by then

i just wanna die why why why why why why why

i just feel disconnected from the world as if im not even here what is happening

i dont feel like myself anymore

i cant live a moment without stress

Im insecure about everything and nothing helps

Even compliments arent enough to help my insecurities at all

i was just talking with my gf about my mental health and now im insanely stressed out and feel sick she cares about me so much and it makes me guilty for being suicidal

why does it have to be me that has to be different in every way

why cant i just live a normal life

its not an episode but just a ton of stress, regret, and self hate :3

everything is stress now. just talking to people stresses me out. i just wanna pull myself from society.