I have to question the wisdom in holding World Cup games in Texas at this time of the year. If it isn't scorchingly hot there's a chance of flooding and flash flooding, and even though we're only just into hurricane season there's already a potential disturbance close to the Gulf coast which could

Paul Walter has just been caught out, Essex need a mere 10 runs to win so the game can only last a few more minutes. So why are the reserves coming out with drinks??? Bloody Nora.

Today is the start of International Weak Week, raising awareness of and for those who aren't physically strong enough to raise it for themselves.

Still raining. 3.18" up to 9am. That's 81 mm for you metrical types.

It's 3am. This lot showed up 40 minutes ago. There isn't much point in trying to go back to sleep with the thunder, and the rain pounding on the roof. The sun always shines on TV and the storms always arrive in the middle of the bleedin' night.

Do not go gentle into that. Goodnight.

Alright my loves? Nice to see you, to see you... Start Saturday evening the way you mean to go on #BBC

I could murder a big slice of Black Forest ham right now. Oh, I am.

Got the homemade cider fermenting. Just a few pints.

Well guess who showed up as I was about to put me head down.

Facebook. Slightly better than being poked in the eye with a sharp stick... not as good as bowls.

I could murder a six pennorth of chips right now.

It was 80° with 94% humidity when I set off on my walk to the shops this morning, 84° and 74% when I came back about 90 minutes later. Bugger this for a game of soldiers, It's time for dry summer heat and scorchio again! We haven't had an actual scorchio yet except for the heat index (103° today). I

The Annoying Little Bastard followed me into the bathroom this morning, so I shut the door to keep it in there and the door has been closed since then, but the little sod has escaped! Unless that's a second one...

Government agencies have a '.gov' suffix in their url. I think the police should have '.guv'.

I've been waiting a few months for this to happen and I sort of wish it hadn't because now I feel responsible for new life. I had to cut the top off this one (first picture) which I successfully replanted and has put out some solid roots (second picture). I meant to toss out the bottom part before

The Annoying Little Bastard is still here but it's flying more slowly now. Running out steam, you little git? www.youtube.com/watch?v=joWD...

The way this frozen pizza was thrown together I reckon it must been made at 4.55 on a Friday afternoon when everyone was looking at the clock and thinking of the weekend.

One day I will make a pilgrimage to this place.

These things are absolutely hopeless. You squeeze, nothing happens. Squeeze a little harder, still nothing. Give it a bloody good squeeze and three times as much as you need comes out all over your countertop or plate, hardly any of which lands on the food you were aiming for #NotFitForPurpose

The Pride of Yorkshire officially launched yesterday. Colourful lions and lionesses will be found across South Yorkshire over the summer months to raise money for the superb Sheffield Children's Hospital Charity. Have you spotted any yet? #prideOfYorkshire #sheffieldChildrensHospital #sheffield

"And by the way, Roy Rogers" "Doesn't everybody?"

There's an annoying little bastard (fly) in here. Not as irritating as a mozzer, not as unpleasant as roach, and nowhere near as dangerous as certain local arachnids, but bloody persistent. Keeps flying around me bonce, across the monitor, and follows me from one room to another. It must die.

My car. That's my car. Not right now but it will be.

This is part of the keypad on my meecrowarvay. Look at the bottom three buttons. Does that seem like the right order to you? Shouldn't 'Start/Pause' be at the far left where 'Cancel/Off' is, and 'Cancel/Pause' be in the middle? That makes more sense to me because I read from left to right.

Who doesn't love a good screw on Monday morning? I know I do.

Whenever I see someone wearing a three piece whistle I like to check that they're wearing the waistcoat correctly. Well done Michael.

A few days ago I bought a pack of eight burger buns. I tried getting one out this morning but they've been baked like batch rolls so they merge together in the oven. It's how I make rolls. Any road up. I had to pull them all out of the bag which was a struggle because it was so tight, which made me

Alright my loves? Nice to see you, to see you... People are absolutely fucking nuts, aren't they. A piece of red fur that needs a hand up it to make it move and a human to make it speak has been branded a traitor and had all kinds of insults thrown at it for doing what it always does - being fair

If it's Saturday morning it must be... yep, there it is. I'm not sure why the discrepancy in colour. The first shot was taken when it was heavily overcast and the second one an hour later after the sun had come out. Must be a camera setting I suppose.

I'm having a conversation with someone about what I think of as a particularly Scouse thing. If a pill doesn't go down first time and gets stuck at the back of the throat I've heard people say "It's lodged". I heard Lily Savage say it once. Is that an exclusively Liverpudlian saying? I believe there

Miles Platting... Todd Lane Junction... Pontefract High Level.

I've recently realised that this is an 'Up' year. The kids, and then adults (leastways the surviving ones), who were featured in Michael Apted's 'Seven Up' programme for World in Action in 1964, are 70 this year so that's another multiple of 7. I wonder how many are still alive, how many are willing

"Rather than the sugar industry turning this over to farmers to feed cows, MicroHarvest is working with sugar makers and pet food producers to convert [the molasses] into premium pet food." www.bbc.com/news/article...

My t-shirt from this morning's soaking has been hanging on the shower curtain rail all day to dry out. It's still bloody damp!

I hope you never get fed up with me telling you I once poured a beer for Fay Fife because I'll never get tired of telling I once poured a beer for Fay Fife. In Texas.

Bloody good film, that. If you haven't seen it, bloody well see it.

Oi be drinkin' zoider oi be. I need to start making my own again. Nothin fancy, no measurements of Brix or ABV, just bung some apple juice in a gallon jug, add some wine yeast and sugar, wait a week or two. Proper scrumpy that be, sort of. Negligible carbonation, around 10% ABV. Gets you fucked up.

They're here, and this week they waited until after I'd had my afternoon kip. How thoughtful.

The update saga isn't over. Oh my word no. My friendly little food co-op has public wifi so that's where I usually get the update downloads but I only go once a week. I duly went this morning, got the OS updated then started on the manufacturer's 4 GB download. It took so long that I had to hang

"2027 is being celebrated in Normandy as the thousandth year since the birth of William the Conqueror." www.bbc.com/news/article...

"This is the new extension, built in 1325". *New*

My rant earlier today about the phone updates, while it sounded like it was all about me and my phone, and it bloody well was too, was at its heart a rant about the tech industry, the bubble those people live in and how they insinuate their ways into our lives whether we want them or not. Security

Un fucking believable. After a week of being pestered six times a day by my phone to update the OS I found some wifi last week and downloaded/installed it. It turned out there was an update for the message app that also needed wifi. Downloaded and installed. A day later I start getting notifications

I think it's high time the practice of putting coloured shiny plastic balls on the end of things came back into fashion.

Thunder, and plenty of it? Oh, where did you come from?

New Jeff is thriving. I really hope he doesn't thrive as much as his parent, like 7 plus feet of thriving. I might have to do some pruning.

I'm going to do something I rarely do and repost one of my own in the hope that someone who can answer the question might not have seen it first time. A hashtag or three might help too. #bass #CockRobin #PeterKingsbery

I'm not afraid of dying, but I don't want it to happen before someone discovers what dark matter and dark energy are. Goodnight.

If that bloke commentating on the Giro d'Italia says "cima coppi" one more time I shall get very cross indeed.