"What we know about...", "All you need to know about...". "What we know about" is what all news is, isn't it? "All you need to know about" is making assumptions about what I need to know. Either way, get over yourselves.

WHO ARE YOU??? Is a question I ask when someone I don't follow, doesn't follow me nor anyone I know, reacts in some way to one of my posts with no way of knowing what it's about from the text, but there's an image that suggests the content. How did you stumble across my post???

I could murder a fly pie right now.

I don't know how well the text will come out on that picture of Maggie. It says "Esta mi amiga Maggie... Encatadora, menudo, frágil... pero al mismotiempo cabreada con el mundo. Ah, Maggie. íQué personaje de historietatan perfecto haría! Veréis, además de tenor unos dieciocho anos de edad..."

Questions I'd like answered, no 38, pt. 1: Why do so many bought preserves have to be refrigerated? It's a preserve, that's the point of it. Pt. 2: When I make my own jams, chutneys etc they don't need refrigeration, but remain perfectly edible after opening, often for years, not like the cherry

There's a lot of banging and grinding going on outside my apartment.

Some very fine stoner/psychedelic rock (an acquired taste, let's be honest) from 1978 that I don't think I was aware of until this morning, unless Mr @diddleynubbins.bsky.social has played the band in a #KitchenMosh already. www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPTh...

Are you familiar with the saying "It's so bad that it's good?". This goes past that and out the other side to be twice as bad as it actually is. www.youtube.com/watch?v=WV6D...

Anyone got a recipe for a favourite homemade savoury sandwich spread? Anything at all. Hopefully not like those ones we got as kids, except for fish paste. Those were delicious. I've already got a method for those.

I would like to be as *ahem* happy as that.

I think I missed the anniversary by a day or two, but it's the thought that counts.

I could murder a bit of a cavort right now.

I don't care what you think, I think he's a bono fido National Treasure. The chap on the right, that is. The chap on the left could be any politician and is therefore infra dignitatum.

There aren't many things more luxurious than a heated towel rail. I wish I had one.

That's a very big ask. Just look at that gorgeous thing.

I've made an executive decision. I'm *not* going to regret this in the morning, so there.

Ah, dear Beryl. She was wonderful.

I keep buying cheese for a mac and cheese or a cauliflower cheese, but it disappears somehow by the time I need it. I know I haven't got mice. It's a mystery.

Ooh I could murder a chocolate eclair right now.

Whoever designed *that* method of holding a halogen bulb in a tracklight fitting is one of the five most evil people in the world. No, I won't say who the other four are.

Well that's bloody weird. I turned on the lamp with the new bulb this morning, and nothing happened. The light doth not shineth in the dark. Had to replace that one too. Once is an accident; twice is a coincidence; three times is a conspiracy, or maybe a dodgy fitting.

Cat: "And your point is?"

A very unusual thing happened today. I had to change a light bulb (not a bulb). I can't remember the last time that happened. I've mostly got compact fluorescents in all the lamps and fittings, LEDs in the kitchen, but there are still one or two incandescents I'm waiting to replace when they die.

Before the memory of this dream fades like all the others let's see how much I can get down. There already is some I've forgotten but at at the point where memory of it comes in, I was on a tube train going over one of the bridges in central London - yes, a road bridge. It took a left turn and then

You lot back in Blighty. Be bloody glad that you can buy either Atora suet, or nip down to Marks or Sainsburys and just buy a steak and kidney pud ready made. It's still in the steamer, needs another 15 minutes or so but it's looking good. I might have contributed an inch to the local fatberg,

I think it might be about to rain.

Austin Forecast: "Heavy rain event for the next 48 hours, get ready" Austin Reality: One 30 minute banger storm hits during afternoon rush hour or 3 AM

Goodnight, and I love you all.

If today is the first day of the rest of life*, does that make yesterday the something or other of the boobledy boo? *Unless you died today, and we we will all have a day that isn't the first etc etc. I have a headache now.

Is it Michaelmas yet? Gone? oh. Pancake Day?

Today I have been mostly in the kitchen. First the filling for the steak and kidney pudding, which is getting made tomorrow. Then some pastry, then a cherry Bakewell. By cherry Bakewell I don't mean a single serving cake in an aluminium case with icing and a cherry on top, I mean I made a great big

They didn't come yesterday and they didn't come last week. If they were coming today they'd most likely already be here. Am I tempting fate?

Apropos of nothing at all, was there a Have I Got News For You episode last week?

On today's busy agenda: Mute several cricket-related words in the hope that I'll at least be able to see some highlights of each Ashes game, no doubt a day or two late.

@phil55494.bsky.social Found it!

If there could be a better time to drink my last can of this I can't think of it, bar one. Well done Scotland! I'm pretty sure there are going to be plenty of call-ins and sick notes in the morning. What a game (that I didn't see, only hear about). Now I'll need to buy another four-pack.

Handy kitchen tips no. 38: Toothpaste makes an ideal minty topping for chocolate brownies and cleans your teeth at the same time.

The best advice I know of about using AI is don't. www.bbc.com/news/article...

Another bit of the interwebs goes kablooey this morning (Cloudflare). It's the end times I tells ya, THE END TIMES!

Goodnight everyone.

Fies my soul?

Addendum. Credit where it's due. After the Mozart they played this. Granville who? Very pleasant. www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS6l...

Same high temperature as yesterday (87°) but no records (90°) broken. I swear our local classical music station is spying on me. They must know how much I dislike Haydn, Mozart Vivaldi and others of that ilk and come 6pm I like to have an aperitif and turn on the wireless, because almost every time

I love a reggae cover of a familiar song, and this is one I'd never heard until today. Not one you'd immediately consider for reggae coverage perhaps. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ip3C...

This is the kind of place I could see Brian and Ann (Richard Easton and Hilary Tindall) from The Brothers living in. At first I thought David and Jill (Robin Chadwick and Gabrielle Drake) but I don't think it's quite 70s enough.

Sex: "Slightly better than whippet racing, not as good as bowls". I've never been whippet racing but I have played carpet bowls, and I have to say sex is better.

After due consideration I'd have to say that two o'clock in the afternoon is my favourite time of day, but only on a weekday, and probably not Friday.

Never mind another bloody repeat of The Cruel Sea or a Carry On/St Trinians film, Sunday afternoon is for bingeing on Futurama.