See how McVities have a Royal warrant? Do you think Charlie is sitting staring at his shrinkflationed chocolate digestive going "the fuck is the size of this?", or is there a special Royal biscuit production line where they're still a proper size?

Wow. These aging metal bands will try anything to recapture their youth.

Me charging my Jony Ive designed Ferrari Luce. #ferrari #luce #MagicMouse

£400k over 12 years? Our politicians aren't even good at embezzlement.

Terribly pleased with dinner tonight. Pesto and panko crumbed hake, crushed potatoes with olive oil and pepper, garlic wilted spinach, green beans.

Duolingo coming for the himbos.

Today's Heardle 80s No 1 is a good one. 🔊🟩⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ #Heardle80s #Number1s #Heardle #80s 80s.heardledecades.com

Free feature idea for Apple if the AirPods with sensors is a real thing: if I'm walking the dog with noise cancellation on, and you see me approaching a road to cross, automatically enable transparency until I'm across.

Proper Sunday dinner. Chicken legs with sage, thyme, rosemary and garlic, roasted with bay leaf, garlic and onion quarters (with the carrots in with them), crispy roasties and steamed broccoli, all with a red wine gravy thick enough to stand a spoon in. Dead proud of it.

Ah yes, I love the weather in *checks notes* mid-May…

My full time job is really getting in the way of my current desire to do tradwife stuff.

I think one of the worst parts about the evil people running the world is how fucking _stupid_ they all are. I was promised evil _geniuses_

"Harissa Explains it All", is that anything?

Love when I can see Scotland so clearly. Can see individual wind turbines if you zoom in. *waves* I miss you.

Who wants kedgeree for breakfast?

Things that cause me trouble: 1. Misunderstanding situations. 2. Failure to understand situations. 3. Situations.

I smell like vanilla today and it's so fucking delightful.

Absolutely devastated to discover that actively working on eating well, drinking water, exercising, going out in the sun, and getting quality sleep makes you feel good. The fuck is this bullshit?

Uhh, thanks IKEA?

Looking at starting a evening retinal routine because who the fuck even am I these days.

Why does this movie coming to AppleTV sound like one of those auto-generated "easier to remember" paraphrases?

Ah yes, the two genders.

2 Devil 2 Prada was good and it made me cry a bit.

Going to see The Devil Wears Prada 2 later and my simple little brain is internally clapping and saying "Yay! I get to see my friends again".

Birdception.

I mean, fair play to you…

You might be cool, but you'll never be John Carpenter standing in a cloud of pink smoke in front of palm trees cool.

There is a special place reserved in UX hell for designers that, in a language selection dropdown, put all the languages in the current selected language and not each of them in, y'know, the language they actually are.

Blessed Bealtaine 🔥

Imagine being Kash Patel and finding out a would-be assassin has called you out, by name, as not important enough to target. That has to sting more than 100 late night monologues.

"My 'I'm not a Basket Case' T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt"

#transformers #AllThatJazz #BobFosse

This is the only Caucasian Wingnut I want to hear about. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caucasi...

Wow, can't believe Boards of Canada are launching their own version of the James Webb Space Telescope.

Well, that was fucking epic in the cinema in 4K.

A warm (not hot) sunny day, a gentle breeze, and the smell of freshly tilled earth. Perfection.

Not enough noise (no pun intended) is made about how great AirPods Pro are for neurodivergent people in noisy situations to just dial the overwhelm down.

Absolute Goddess. #ToriAmos

Wee gig, aye? (It's Tori)

Dropped a couple of tech podcasts in favour of adding Vogue's "The Run-Through", and I am feeling so happy about that decision.

Would it be too extra of me to specifically go to see The Devil Wears Prada 2 on the first Monday in May?

I decided to excavate *all* the ash from #RockyRidges in #Pokopia. In this thread I'm going to post some pictures of what it's like. I *do not* recommend you do this. It took me around four days and it's clear the devs did not intend anyone to do this. The world is not designed with this in mind.

I just think women are too emotional for politics.

Happy Birthday, Jesus.

I desperately need to know why automatic bank transfers don't work on bank holidays. The computers don't need time off. Like, this involves _more_ work to make them not happen surely?

I'm fascinated to know how many people who aren't into space think, based on news headlines alone, that this Artemis II launch is a lunar landing mission.

It would have been Lyra's birthday today. I'm still so angry.

Quare stretch in the nights hai.

No. Fuck off you absolute ghouls and let people have a small moment of joy in this shitshow world.