I’m so late to the already-ruined-by-straights revival of mullets but I kinda want one

Miss having a desk job but also seeing hundreds of thousands of desk jobs being laid off because of AI and it’ll only get worse sooooo ummm guess not?

first time I’ve purposefully hunted for a shiny pokemon and jesus my thumb hurts, how do yall do this every new game 💀

I know Pokémon players love to complain about pokemon but ummmm legends ZA has been insanely fun so far and I can’t wait to get home from work to play more of it

took NyQuil and slept for 10 hours

“you should try these homeopathic pills for —“ do NOT piss me off, I want enough acetaminophen to shut down my liver at the slightest hint of illness

stop. putting. adults. in. diapers. on. my. feed. @bsky.app How many times can I tap “show less like this” 😭😭😭

still can’t get over the first episode of this season of survivor; a lesbian with a thick New York accent said “ew so many straight people”, projectile vomited while looking right into the camera, then got voted out hours later legendary representation

I’m funny cuz my mom took Vicodin while she was pregnant

asked her to please scoot over and she looked at me like this

nothing worse than a $15 sub sandwich that isn’t hung.. like what’s the point I want that thing a foot long or more

my same exact health insurance plan with United just increased 50% per paycheck 🥰 wages have been stagnant for like the last decade 🥰 we can fund bombs to kill innocent children across the world but can’t have basic healthcare, college, or functioning public transit 🥰 loving life 🥰

I can do that too

need to go back to a desk job so I can get back to my real career of yapping and posting 8 hours a day

car broke down for good finally RIP economy is in shambles whats the recommended method for getting a quality used car these days? dealership? carmax? carvana? (this one seems bad) help please little financially responsible gay people in my phone

this heat needs to stop

getting my yearly urge to rewatch ATLA yet again and cry

one thing I’m gonna do is post and forget about it until the next day

update on the beautiful baby (she’s growing too quickly 😭)

working in the service industry again after a decade in corporate has been ROUGH. I forgot how many 20-something year olds beg you to take their shift every day. No.

BREAKING: upper-middle single gay guy with a brown beard moves to a different coastal city every 2 years, citing “time for a new adventure” and updates his Instagram bio with each city + coordinating emojis

why are we, as gay people,

truly no thoughts in that little head

just give me the umbreon PLEASE

kitten jumped into the toilet, I cleaned her up and wiped her down only for her to immediately sprint to the same toilet and jump back in the second I put her back on the ground I love this stupid idiot so much

who wants to go to work for me tomorrow so I can binge world of wacraft and caffeine all day?

10 pack was generous to me this morning 😍

say cheese!! now do a silly one! now stroke my hair and tell me everything will be okay

sound on for meeps and

kitten fell asleep in the bed specifically bought for her to sleep in instead of on my chest???? what the fuck is the point of living

wish I could pay $5 extra to skip the awkward small talk during a haircut 🫡

I just want to work my silly little job, afford a silly little house, and have silly little universal healthcare + retirement why must my severely underpaid labor fund wars around the world

LOVE Fridays

love scrolling through IG stories and seeing the same twink thirst commenting publicly on another dude’s selfies every day, admire that level of horny

every day I finish work, blink three times, eat hot chip, kiss my cat and it’s somehow 9pm

gay body dysmorphia is an entire new category of insane, what do you mean you hate your knee caps

Actually— no educated, socially aware progressive American will fall for this desperate man’s PR attempt at saving TESLA stock. We can, however, use his obsession with validation and attention to convince him to publicly out every corrupt thing he’s done for trump, then lock his ass up. 🤭

heyyyyyy who wants to send me a switch 2

Witcher 4 is going to explode my PS5 and I’ll say thank you while quivering

something really cool as an American trapped in capitalist hell is seeing European friends post about taking month long vacations / months off in between jobs to travel their gorgeous continent while still having healthcare and easily enough funds gnawing at the bars of my enclosure for real

obsessed with responding to my friends’ IG stories then disappearing for days when they DM back

just need 2 cute cats and online attention to reach enlightenment

Pokémon TCG and espresso are keeping me sane

what do you mean I can’t just sit on the couch and watch old seasons of survivor as my career

oh yeah it was my birthday today, thankful for fridays

goodnight

still sick, little hairy gay men in my phone

millennial with an education degree only has two options right now: insane debt for masters degree or s*** d*** for money

Little hairy gay men in my phone, I’m sick. Help.

Consent check 🫶 ✅ Yes ⬛️ No *Turns on Shrek and says every line of dialogue out loud*