Hey if a random dude with a camera showed up to my kid’s daycare and demanded to be let in and they did, my lawyer would get cartoon money eyes when I told him.

Remember last week when everyone was a Greek armor expert? Are we still doing that or did we move on?

I don’t like AI. It’s bad, full stop. But claiming that any writing or art you don’t like is AI is lazy, reductive, and only hurts in the long run. There’s bad writing out there. Made by humans. Engage in it. There’s also AI writing, which is bad, made by bad people. Don’t conflate the two.

Just saw The Housemaid. Not sure why it was set on an alien world and everyone was blue and those people said I was in their seat.

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Catching up on Plurbis and I’m not gonna lie the Hive Mind is a little passive aggressive.

Whenever I hear complaints about Stranger Things taking too long to come out I think of this from the Simpsons.

The funniest thing Stranger Things could do in its last season is do a new scene that’s a flashback to Season 1 with no deaging technology and never acknowledge it.

Oh wow, where do we think they got the idea that removing Roald Dahl from a Roald Dahl adaptation was a good idea?

I’m worried the ending of Stranger Things is really going to hurt the “I hate Stranger Things tell me how good I am for not caring about Stranger Things” Community. I get there’s been a long wait between seasons but also… you can just not watch it?

If I had a nickel for every movie that came out this year where Pedro Pascal stretched his limbs, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but weird it’s happened twice.

Hey did it take a long time for all of Stranger Things to come out? I can’t tell from the 900 posts all claiming to not care about new Stranger Things taking a long torn to come out. I’m so glad you took the time to let everyone know you’re not interested in a TV show anymore.

Snyder Bros watching the new SUPERMAN:

Why wouldn’t they release Fantastic 4 over the 4th of July weekend?

Reading complaints about the new Superman movie is basically this now.

Fantastic FOUR? In this economy?

Shout out to all the writers who took time out of writing their essays to wonder why romance movies are disappearing from the box office to nitpick details in the Materialists.

Ballerina was pretty good. Great fight scenes. The plot made no sense. Counterpoint to all of that: Flame Thrower fight. That alone should qualify it for best picture.

(Mild Ballerina Spoilers) My new favorite character in any movie is the guy that says “this is suicide that’s John Wick.”

Everyone: “this movie is pretty good.” One guy on YouTube who read a book on filmmaking when he was 17: “well, actually…”

After spending a semester teaching my class “this may not work for you, that doesn’t mean it’s bad” I was really disappointed to see a critic I like complain that Thunderbolts* didn’t work for their particular situation. It worked for a lot of people, including me.

Did the conclave people even look at my resume?

I hope Hollywood learns the real lesson from SINNERS which is that you should put two Michael B. Jordans in every movie.

The one thing that baffles me the most about film discourse is the way “good” people are very confident that their misogynistic comment is somehow justified.

I saw Sinners and my review is you should stop reading this and go see sinners.

Dear Apple: don’t cancel Mythic Quest.

Just did my first injection of my weight loss drug. How long until Margaret Qually pops out of my back?

I just read a review of a movie where the writer spends three paragraphs - not in a row, mind you- making sure you know they don’t like Marvel movies. It wasn’t a review of a Marvel movie, the director just made two Marvel movies. That’s not good criticism.

Critics right now

People like to use “but the MCU is destroying cinema” but in 2024 there were more movies about old people being scammed and seeking revenge than movies set in the MCU.

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I watched Sidequest, the Mythic Quest spinoff. Episodes 2 and 3 are some of the best television episodes this year. I liked episode 1 but it felt more like a regular episode. I really appreciate what was being tried with episode 4 but I think it might have needed another draft or 2. Great show.

Take a minute to think of the true victims of the journalist on the war thread: the Coen Brothers. This is something they would write.

We’re really lucky that it turns out that as soon as a writer or director or actor says something we don’t like in an interview, all of the sudden their movies are terrible and always have been. In fact, the really great people never liked them, anyway!

I don’t even think the new Snow White movie looks good but the level of “wait why is Disney doing this weird press screening?” fake “just asking questions” from professional critics and entertainment writers who started their hate campaign after casting was announced is baffling.

Critics who have been focusing on every aspect of these two actresses since the project was announced:

I’m really looking forward to Mickey 17. Will I understand it if I haven’t seen Moon or the Island?

It’s great that a lot of people learned something from 23 years of Marisa Tomei Oscar discourse and won’t make the same mistake again when talking about Mikey Madison’s win! I’m kidding congrats to the entertainment journalists in 2050 for their Anora discourse articles.

So many people are trying to say a movie or TV show is going to be terrible based on leaked concept art or one still frame in swear to God if you all saw just the end credits you’d say “why did they just write everything on the screen instead of filming scenes.”

I will not promise you that tomorrow will be better. That would be wishful thinking. But I assure you that tomorrow could be better, and that you have it in you to fight for it, to make a glorious effort to make it so.

I just read a recap of a TV show that said “due to the serialized nature of the show it can’t really spend time covering themes.” And I’m begging everyone to understand words have meaning.

We should have so many sequels to Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves at this point that “serious cinephiles” can’t wait to tell everyone that “um actually I didn’t like the first one.”

Has this whole thing just been an Ocean’s 11?

The Conclave Best Picture push has gotten out of hand.

“Wow, this is a pretty good BBQ spot” Person who drove through North Carolina once six years ago “it’s just that…”

Put the David Hasselhoff version of Nick Fury in your next mulitverse movie, cowards.

Critics are really lucky that as soon as an actor, writer, or director does something they don’t like in real life, all of the sudden their movies are terrible, too.

I like that MCU movies not only bring out amateur cinematographers and directors, but now amateur accountants, too.

The Rock is working with Scorsese. Check on your friends who claim to like movies but only really like what they are told is good because they are not going to be doing well.