12 million is the magic number. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/3.5%25_...

Spent 10 mins scrolling Bluesky and now I’m angry and sad

Happy 3rd birthday to the best little monsters 🎉🎂🎈

Red baseball caps are the new toothbrush mustache

Boop!

If MAGAs have a come-to-Jesus moment about Trump/Epstein, what happens next? Will they acknowledge that Jan 6 was bad too? Will they recognize that he’s been lying and grifting since day one?

Protesters are going to be met with very big force? Jfc, he sounds like a kindergartener.

You just know Ken Jennings often thinks to himself “Seriously? Did you guys even study?”

It’s so weird seeing folks online talking about millennials and realizing they mean old people

Les chats d’Amboise

French food is great but they don’t know shit about a carne asada burrito

Paris

I’m gonna miss French potato chips

“Ribbit” en francais

Me after staying in a foreign city for a week: Omg these tourists are just the worst

What do the French have against shower doors? Do they like getting water all over the bathroom floor?

A view of my street (for the next week) from the nearby castle

Pet peeve: unnecessary, but not exactly incorrect, use of “literally.” Like yeah it might be literally true, but no one would ever think you meant it figuratively.

Referring to the first decade of this century as “the two thousands” is dumb. We should call it “the twenty aughts” from now on.

Brothers

Family size pizza? I beg to differ.

Maybe Trump will get busted for insider trading if nothing else

My cat thinks I’m his hunting buddy. He hasn’t figured out that I’m actively sabotaging his efforts to murder things.

If Musk hates tariffs, it makes you wonder why he worked so hard to get the tariff guy elected. 🧐

I still expect to hear the Game of Thrones theme after the HBO intro

Fav sign of the day

Pet peeve: pronouncing “experiment” like ex-spearmint

Just discovered the middle aged mutant ninja turtles snl skit and it’s hard not to take it a little personally

Sure, but you know what else is performative? Every speech ever. Performative ≠ pointless

COMMERCIALS THEN: This is our product. It’s better than other similar products. Here’s a happy little jingle to help you remember it. COMMERCIALS NOW: What are you even doing with your life? Buy this thing if you want to stop being a total loser.

Panama by Van Halen but in the ermahgerd voice

LOVE SONGS THEN: I’ve got a big crush on you and I‘ll do my best to make you happy. LOVE SONGS NOW: You are the only bright spot in this soul crushing world.

Dear retro gamers, Literally no one called it “Super Mario Bros” back in the day. They are brothers, not bros. Please see that this is corrected going forward.

“Processeez” would be the plural form of processis, which, you know, isn’t a word.

…Or he’s just manipulating the market so he and his rich friends can buy on the dip.

Were the tariffs Putin’s idea? I can’t figure who else they benefit.

The really depressing thing is that a lot of people will see this disgrace and think that’s how strong people behave.

When is the nationwide march for Ukraine? Is someone on that?

Yes, he is a Russian asset. Are we still acting surprised by this?

Yes but the real reason AOC is a badass is that she doesn’t take bribes from lobbyists.

Today in North Hollywood ✊