feeling very lucky and happy to be building a local network of trusted people to spend time with offline, after struggling with that for My Entire Freaking Life. but i still really miss my long distance friends so very much

fantasizing about owning a compact mirror i can open and shut with the flick of a wrist, much like a flip phone

hi!!! inprnt has a 40% sale that ends this weekend. please consider buying a print or two if you like my stuff - i am very close to being able to withdraw my earnings 😵‍💫 i've been outta commission for various health reasons all summer so i haven't been able to work www.inprnt.com/gallery/plat...

one of my most frustrating neurodivergent traits is struggling to tell when someone is saying something sincerely or as a joke. this goes for both spoken communication and text communication

still thinking about this. untangling trauma and fraught emotions is already difficult enough. but i feel trapped between conservatives trying to extinguish queerness, and queer circles looking down at me for Not Being Good Enough

"you have to be weirder. Now" "you have to be hornier. Now" i am crumpling up and shaking like a withered up autumn leaf trying to confront deeply traumatic things, and i really wish that all of my online circles weren't constantly screaming this in my direction

hi!!! inprnt has a 40% sale that ends this weekend. please consider buying a print or two if you like my stuff - i am very close to being able to withdraw my earnings 😵‍💫 i've been outta commission for various health reasons all summer so i haven't been able to work www.inprnt.com/gallery/plat...

got to borrow a friend's sony mavica today 📸  💾

it'd be nice to get back into photography beyond selfies and taking photos to document things. i tend to approach photo composition with a very "literal" feel to them - neatly organized and framed images. very conventional. i wanna break out of that habit a bit

got to borrow a friend's sony mavica today 📸  💾

today's look! i thought gold would be a fun contrast to the muted mauve hues in my hair

my resolve is strengthening. yes......... i want to be platonically hot, and cute, and pretty

spending today updating my personal color scheme. i wanted my dark mode tones to be a bit more purple toned. really happy with how it came out platinumtulip.garden (neocities) platinumtulip.net (portfolio)

reading about home NAS options while the train i'm on has stopped. like i've got freaking anything else better to do rn

sitting on another long train ride, closing my eyes, and fantasizing about file management and organization and (god help me) another possible distrohop

really wish that my art wasn't so directly tied to my heart and whims and desires. it's very frustrating to deal with in a society and industry that requires artists to be more detached to get work done. i have tried to force myself over and over to change and it always ends up being self-harm

i'm feeling refreshed and ready to create again. but i am torn between using my energy on "selfish" art that only me and a few other people may see, and art for public view. i want to jump right in with the former option, but it's probably best to alternate between the two

today's adventure

there's a lot of thoughts in my head about the importance of community and bonds with people, especially during such bleak times, but i haven't really formed anything coherent yet. i keep reflecting on how much i regret being a weird hermit for so long and feeling like i gotta make up for lost time

hey.

ha ha ha...it lives

been feeling more stable lately. in the past month or two i've made more time to hang out with friends and meet new people offline and it's been....nice?????? and fun??? what a twist in my life

saw bat graffiti on the train today and for a brief and very disorienting second i thought it was specifically graffiti of billy bat. it wasn't, but could you even imagine

can't help but feel cynical every time i'm confronted by Video Game News. i'm not even angry or disappointed per se. apathetic, maybe? it makes me want to think about other ways to use my time and energy and money

very exhausted after a string of Very Awful No Good Crap Days. please god let this weekend be nice.

i logged out of social media on my computers and now i keep a timer on my phone's app usage. it's keeping me from losing my mind right now i think. feels weak to admit that i cannot simply ward off Bad Posts with my mind alone and that i have to be stricter than that.

i'd be hard pressed to change my current switch icon but my new mii is pretty cute imo

slowly getting back to art. i've been doing small things here and there to ease myself back into it again. brought up some specific materials to study today, too

was really hoping i'd feel physically better today, but ended up being down for the count with one of the worst migraines i've had in a long time... whoof

i've been procrastinating on cleaning up my filesystem/unused applications on my phone for a while, because doing file management on mobile suuuuuuuckssssss i need to just get a grip, plug my phone into one of my computers, and get it over with. but: uuuuuughhhhhhhhh

my ailments are so stupid sometimes. when i'm stressed and/or anxious, there's a decent chance that my body will respond with a chronic pain flareup. yeah man that's totally gonna help with my stress, thanks a lot

unsure why i feel so disappointed in myself today even though i literally made some major Brain Breakthroughs and made some paintings for the first time in months this week. how dare i take it easy and watch anime on a chilly rainy day. how COULD i

i took a gigantic nap today because i was absolutely freaking wiped from Brain Problems. it was a good and much needed nap

i'd really like to curl up in a vampire's cloak but i'd also be okay with burying my face into a flannel shirt. ahhhh...... flannel soft. cozey

always forget how low my voice is until i try to hit a high note singing along to something and my throat just cracks awkwardly

lying down and listening to the rain and cool breeze outside while having gay thoughts

i really gotta stop psyching myself out when i think about working on art. "today will be the day where i let myself be self indulgent again! wait no nonnonononono hold on. actually i feel sick"

heh heh heh... about to put together a great upgrade for my gbcam setup (and playing gb/gba games in general)

thinking about picking up a pokemon game again. what if i just played gen 2 for the millionth time. that's a comfort food game to me

ALERT: i'm wearing a light sweater today. this is not a drill

fantasizing about tall sexy sword wielding vampires protecting me & also letting me cuddle up underneath their cloak

tsuchineko

okay maybe i SHOULD make that blog post about vista eventually. there would be some interesting things to deconstruct and examine. mostly from a UI + tablet experience angle because i am who i am

seeing people younger than me waxing nostalgically about windows vista is absolutely bizarre to me. alien behavior

high levels of chronic pain day... im sooo exhausted

being online for too much of my life made me internalize that my social worth is directly proportional to my ability to be funny. i've been trying to tell myself that this is stupid & bullshit but it's really lodged into my brain and it's hard to get out

just having fun today with my makeup and (grabs megaphone) MY NEW HAIR COLOR

hee hee hee hoo hoo wahahahahaha

before -> after 💕💗💜💖💕

to all the perverts & weirdos (positive) out there: i respect you all from the bottom of my heart & fully support the hard work you are doing to fight against censorship and embracing sexuality. i truly wish i could fight alongside you all. i wish i could engage with sex/kink without disassociating