At an Airbnb in a nice apt bldg in Hollywood. Use a fob to open the lobby door. Dude in Dodgers hat appears out of nowhere & jumps in right behind me. I get in the elevator, use the fob for my floor & the same guy hops in & presses the floor below mine.... (1/2)

Everyone I know in Los Angeles is struggling just to put food on the table. They're depressed and scared, but they refuse to move anywhere else. I'm going to start calling this phenomenon "Smog-home Syndrome."

I'd like to thank all the poker dudes at the 5-10 no limit hold 'em table at Commerce Casino. I had so much fun tonight, and btw also won $8000 in 2 hours. God, I wish poker in the DMV/Baltimore were as exciting as it always is in LA.

Happy 97th birthday to MLK Jr.... And 103rd to my amazing dad, William E. Dixon...

Views upon departure from DCA. ✈️

DCA > LAX on Alaska Air ✈️ Here's the outside crew at work:

Yesterday morning, I finally hung this painting I've had for ages in my home. I posted a photo of "Praying Fox" and tagged the artist, Los Angeles legend Harry Blitzstein. His daughter quickly messaged me and said that nobody knew yet, but her father had passed away just the night before... (1/2)

Today I hung my latest Harry Blitzstein masterpiece. Created in 1988, it's oil on knotted wood board, entitled "Praying Fox." Only 3.5 years later, this house is finally coming together!

Curated this playlist for the perfect open house... Each song chosen to coerce people to want to buy a house (and to be played on random). There are some Baltimore-specific songs; it's a very chill mix that got a lot of compliments. If you're a realtor, feel free to use it - I guarantee it'll help!

My brain made up 7 insane headlines in the 2 seconds before I scrolled down to see why tf Michael Rapaport is in the news.

I want you to do something for me, please... - Ask yourself, really ask yourself, if there's anyone in your life you love unconditionally. - Tell the person you thought of EXACTLY THAT.

Hey Baltimore... My open house is tomorrow (Sunday, 1/11) from 10 am to noon! Please come take a look and say hi! www.zillow.com/homedetails/...

Now that we've lost the right to assemble, thought I'd buy this coin and see if irony leads to appreciation...

We're not trying to take Greenland for military bases, or natural resources, or misplaced pride... We're doing it because of hardcore alien shit going on in the north. Believe what you want, but this is the truth.

Wrote a script in 2004 about a U.S. civil war started by Fox News, where the gangs of Baltimore band together to protect the city. Execs who read it said, "It's good, but seems too absurd" & "Fantastic, but we can't make it w/ a white girl writer." Both fair, but now the whole thing is coming true.

Malcolm X's birthday should be a recognized holiday this year... And on it, we should do everything he told us to do.

Last night, I chose going to the Horseshoe Casino over primal screaming in my car for hours. I love Baltimore, and I love the casino, but good god, it is so dangerous to leave that place with cash on your person... (cont)

If I've said it once, I'll keep saying it 1000 times...

Calling all Baltimore portrait photographers!! I'm selling this AMAZING century-old home in Govans, and I wanted to offer it as a location for portraits before it's gone. No studio lights allowed (bc they blow the old electric) but the natural light is tremendous in every room... (1/2)

This is like Daniel-Day Lewis winning the best actor Oscar and then offering to share it with Rob Schneider.

Dearest President Trump, could you please stay in Florida for the foreseeable future? I don't like living within DC's kill zone when you're here.

Wait, why is it nowhere in any media that the historic Hollywood Center Motel at 6722 Sunset Blvd burned down last night?? Local preservationists were fighting for protected status for the more-than-century-old property, and suddenly a fire takes it down, and that doesn't even make the news...?

Money is power, and we need to have a financial Purge of the uber-wealthy. 100 million Robin Hoods taking from the rich and giving to the poor: Both money and a voice that will be listened to.

My beloved Baltimore house is listed! I will miss this 1923 home in Govans SO MUCH. Unlike every builder-grade, millennial-grey flip in the area, Eneloc has all its original charm. I want to sell to someone who will love its age and preserve it as much as I did... (1/2)

Last selfie of 2025... Let's go, 2026!! 🥂

Just heard an ad on NPR that called Designer Shoe Warehouse "the birthplace of humblebrag." Listen, you cheap footwear bitches, the birthplace of humblebrag was Harris Wittels' brain. Respect that.

I'm so tired. I'm tired of not getting a single present from anyone all year, year after year. I do so much for the holidays, and it's like it's just expected. I send friends and family members surprise gifts constantly... (1/2)

You know what happens when someone in Arkansas wins Powerball? Their relatives suddenly come out of the woodwork, and this time it's not just for sex.

It's annoying that this person has comments and quote posts turned off. How am I supposed to tell him he is SO WRONG???

I posted these 2 Threads last night, and they got exactly ZERO views. Meta killed proof that Instagram Reels is showing snuff films.

In an effort to teach kiddo piano in a way he will gel with, and perhaps to relive my days in LA's greatest unknown band, Lumbergh, I bought this Christmas present for myself. It's a 1980s Ovation Ultra Bass... And I am STOKED. 🎸

Got the metal sign & antique iron lanterns hung on the front porch of my Baltimore house! Now who wants to buy this gorgeous 1923 Victorian with all its original charm? (It's going to kill me to have to leave this place I love so much.)

Went to the racetrack today as the guest of my oldest friend. My bf had never been to this place where I spent half my childhood, and it was wild to have a flood of memories, while he saw it all with fresh eyes.

VANCE/KIRK in 2028... It's gonna be 🤮

I have 1100 friends on Facebook, yet here are 28 posts in a row on my feed without a single one by a friend. Just ads, and groups/pages I don't follow. Wtf even is that app anymore?

Someone should tell Erika Kirk that the stages of grief are not the kind you perform on.

Billionaires use Millionaires to make Thousandaires hate Hundredaires and Ten heirs win it all

Sir, that's not a ballroom. It's the Baltimore Convention Center.

Quick drive through Baltimore, from the "Flowers in the Attic" part of Eneloc to MLK Blvd.

I've shot film for 32 yrs. I like my work. I like shooting manually, w/o even a light meter. I like using slide film. What I don't like is hearing ANY opinion about analog photography from outside my own head. Maybe that's conceited; maybe it's autism. I just wish I could silence all those voices.

Remember the good ol' days, like when Melissa Horton was killed, when Trump just didn't say anything at all?

I haven't been this devastated by a celebrity death since they let me take 2 days off of high school bc I was fucking DESTROYED by River Phoenix's OD. I literally would not be the person I am if it weren't for SBM, TPB, and WHMS. A Few Good Men is the reason I went to film school. I feel so lost rn.

I am crying. Rob Reiner deserved to live to 98, like his dad. Obvs, I don't know the situation, but I'm out here praying it was a gas leak or something, not a B&E or some crazy domestic issue. My Hollywood is truly gone now.

Just to be clear, none of my posts are rage bait. They are, in fact, meant for an audience of only people who agree with me.

This C in my life deserves to be seriously threatened, but it wouldn't be the best idea to do it. So I'll tell you all the text I've been dying to send her: "This is in no way meant to be misconstrued as a threat, but you better watch your back, front, and both sides - like you're a fucking Waymo."

MARTYR-y Taylor Greene

This is the 1st @hipstamatic.app photo l ever shot (2010). I drove a friend to LAX & on the way back, in thick sunrise fog, I stopped at the La Brea Tar Pits. Saw this styrofoam cup in the tar & the wooly mammoth - so distraught nearby - like a visual representation of extinction & climate change.

I met Chris Mitchell at a bar one night. He was bragging to some gorgeous LA girls about doing shows at the Magic Castle. He started doing card tricks for them, and I announced that I could see a little string in his hand. He got very annoyed that I was magic-cock-blocking him. (1/4)

Idk what it is about this movie that heals me, nor why I crave it so often. Every 3 or 4 months, when things are going off the rails, and the simulation is starting to overwhelm... (1/2)

If being a gift horse orthodontist were a real job, my ex would be at the top of his field.