Please enjoy a few moments of Home Alone (Kevin sam w domu), dubbed in the Polish style

This is my favorite parody account.

Now the winner ot the FIFA peace prize has launched missiles at two more countries I'm sure they'll reconsider the decision. Seems almost corrupt in retrospect.

(daft punk One More Time voice) Auld Lang Syne

Gifts don't get much better. #Murdle

Sir Terry Pratchett is best understood as one of the most interesting, deeply ethical practical (I would say Pragmatist but I cede to actual experts) philosophers of the late 20th Century who just happened to work in deconstructed fantasy literature as his medium.

I have overindulged in the cheese board and am hallucinating.

Something you can say for Bluesky is that no other website is cranking out Muppet Christmas Carol Tiny Tim jokes like this place

HANG UP YOUR SCIMITAR, TODAY YOU WILL BATTLE DEHYDRATION. AND YOU WILL WIN.

My mother, quite reasonably, hates this evil furry banana #Christmas tree decoration. Brought it home from a party when I was about ten. Since then, the annual tradition has been that I try and sneak it onto her tree, and she tries to offload it to me. I go to bed, and... there it is... waiting...

To see the term "pro #Palestine" used even by the Guardian is depressing. Palestine exists. Framing its existence as a matter of debate isn't something we apply to other UN-recognised States. www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...

We in the European Union watch as the Union supports Israel unconditionally, defying both EU and international law, as well as its proclaimed values.

Man walking through Aldi's car park in the Wiltshire (England) town of Chippenham today unironically wearing a Make America Great Again hat. Wife and kids in tow. And you'd just think somebody, *anybody*, would take a man aside and say, look mate, what the shit are you doing with yourself.

This was fascinating. Highly rec. #ChristmasTelly www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/epis...

They're queueing for cheese in Bath. Gouda tidings. Merry Swissmas. Etc.

Who tf is Parson Brown by the way?

Racists mocking Zarah Sultana by calling her "Raisin" will always be funny to me because her name literally means Queen or Empress and it's always a bloke called Dave Boghandler. #ukpolitics

White noise is good for sleep but have you tried the soft clackity-clack of a rotary hard drive backing up 1.3TB of photographic work? 🤌✨

The #JoshuaJake memes are off the chain.

Joshua vs Paul was the best boxing fight betwèen the authors of the sixth book of a Testament.

This is straight-up, unvarnished Klan language from the Vice President of the United States. We've had a lot of racist vice presidents and this one might be in the running for top of the list.

And that those currently on hunger strike are rapidly approaching the point at which these men died, with barely a peep from the government.

Jimmy Kimmel is to deliver Channel 4’s Alternative Christmas Message.

Morrisons playing with fire. 🫣

Chessup 2 computer be like, 'You won a Queen and two Rooks for a Knight. That's a Blunder.' #chess

As we head into the #Solstice night, some pictures from Midsummer celebrations at Stonehenge 2023–24, to warm the bones. © #WinterSolstice #Photography

Ha.

Absolutely savage captioning from Alamy. #JakeJoshua #JoshuaJake

It's hard to articulate the feeling of seeing a Video Editor job advert that requires the ability to "edit video using Canva." Sort of like asking a pro chef if they can microwave. Stop it.

As we head into the #Solstice night, some pictures from Midsummer celebrations at Stonehenge 2023–24, to warm the bones. © #WinterSolstice #Photography

Currently at the funeral for the penny, happening at the Lincoln Memorial:

[PDF, 300,000 pages]

I'm sure that new #Paddington puppet in the West End is very sweet and lovely if you haven't been exposed to, well, this.

A couple of pictures from Windsor, England, during the State Visit of #Trump back in September. © #EpsteinFiles

In other news I am attempting to wrap a hexagonal box and simply do not see how it can be done within the three physical dimensions available to me.

Today is, once again, a reeeeal good day to follow @wired.com if you don't already.

No. Shit. #EpsteinFiles

One should always be suspicious when the state resists disclosure of documents. And one should be more suspicious when the state suddenly purports to agree to the disclosure of documents.

The Donald Trump and The John F Kennedy Center Memorial For I’m Need HHelp mDoes Anyome Smell Burnt Toast

Been rewatching James Acaster's Repertoire (Netflix) and convinced it's the closest stand-up has ever come to performance art. It's real genius stuff.

Mitt Romney and Gavin Newsom each slowly becoming the other in an unholy ritual.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a country in possession of a little bit of oil, must be in want of some American intervention. ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵃᵖᵒˡᵒᵍⁱᵉˢ ᵗᵒ ᴶᵃⁿᵉ ᴬᵘˢᵗᵉⁿ

Can't believe America gets Kurt Elling in Hadestown and we get John Bishop in a thousand pantomimes. Life is brutal.

Operation 'Look Over Here Not Over There' really is in full swing. 📂👀

Haven't been this stoked about files being made available since [insert joke about early noughties dial-up broadband]

These 'welcome to my parents' house' posts are painfully funny

Elf on a shelf is the reason Keir Starmer has never done a photo op on a punt.

Welcome to my parents' house. We're staring at our phones just now. We'll be with you in an hour. Meanwhile pour a drink. There's tap water, wine or 164 cans of some unrecognisable seltzer thing. Dinner is leftovers from last Thursday, Tuesday and Sunday combined. Child portions.