how couples talk today

overheard guy on 1st date “so what makes it ‘pop’ punk? it’s catchy?” running to the table “hi ma’am i was in a post hardcore band one time”

herbalist healer friend had B vitamin droppers and oregano oil extract but no ibuprofen. my body craves western medicine

This frolicking I’m doing is against my will

(me when i work too much) ugh labor mindset (me when i relax too much) ugh consumer mindset

julian casablancas at coachella wearing a shirt with the amazon logo that just says “crime,” hell yeah

having an “everything everywhere all at once” weekend (laundry and taxes)

if i played in the nba i’d have a little zyn pouch in most of the time and i’d have a zyn sponsorship

just chilling B-)

watching the band more closely and appreciating the music in a more intimate way than the rest of the venue

i crave the amphetamine salt mineral

chart thursday

living in haifa and tel aviv for 7 years cooked tf out of my sis’s brain cause she used to be left wing but now thinks the iran war is “making the world a safer place”

who's your most "my goat washed"? for me, isaac brock and modest mouse

gf who makes you wear a quarter zip to the bar so you don’t get hit on by women

she’s saying there’s no way i’m white boy of the century. not even white boy of the year, she said

most people are tempted to touch the all powerful orb but i’m different (faces a minor trial or tribulation) okay maaaaybe infinite power is the move

chinese reeducation camp for white guys who use AAVE

been feeling lately like the stock market is a kid you can jingle your keys in front of

time travelling back to the year 1599 and showing william shakespeare hamnet on a portable dvd player to let him know how influential his work is

ripped my suit pant ass open from having too big a dumpy and i’m not sure if the class saw it

tofu is the food of the gods

israel? more like is we real?

the new tigers jaw is solid as hell

asking everyone in the hotel lobby if they wanna split a pizza

gods peed

watching what zohran mamdani is doing and getting emotional over the idea that government can fix things and a better world is possible

standing too close to the painting so the museum security guard tells me to please be chill and show restraint for once

chart thursday

kilbyself

serendipitous typo “rat museum” inspires vision of incredible public museum concept

people bag on the balkans but you can’t even get good khlav kalash in the united states.

banned from reddit for saying someone should %^*# some pro-ICE demonstrators. i didn’t even say kill, it was just censored like that. i could’ve meant anything

trying to save money by reducing my expenses (no more rent, food, medicine)

i’m very patriotic about yeast

at the bar getting so woke you would not believe it

a lot of ppl’s problems would be solved by moving to a big city

sorry i’m a little slow today. my neuralink chip is farming some of my brain activity for crypto mining. they give you a great deal

chart thursday

i think about this all the time

i could easily push one of those dogs over

best way to integrate into a new city is find the weirdest person you can and ask what they’re up to this weekend

now watching

venezuela has DEFEATED the united states

guy who cheers on the global destruction of oil assets as an acceleration of clean energy transition

went back to listen to death cab for cutie - narrow stairs again and i forgot how unbelievably bad it is

kissing every tomato before consuming. most versatile and beautiful produce in the game

“Have Kids” + “Want Kids” is one of the craziest combos on a dating profile to me