The horses all got together and said you can’t blow them up with explosives any more

A mediocre banquet hall with an Italian name has opened in Koridai! Book it todaaaay!

Spider-Man… rescue us!

I heard that there’s gay shit going on in the Spirit Temple

GIVE ME BACK MY KIDS YOU FUCKING BITCH

King Harkinian has cleared the larders because it’s Tuesday! Ultra Dinner Begins Tonight!

They’re calling it “Balatro Brain,” and they’re saying that it’s the most deadly STD sweeping the nation right now

Stop being a fucking pussy

Stupid son of a bitch

Friends,

(Other Dad from Coraline) Makin’ up a song about Koooooridai

Dare you solve his riddle?

Harkinian Senpai… will you… go to the cherry blossom festival with me…?

Geonam Enemy Files! It seems that you’ve run afoul of the vicious and hard to pronounce Catoblepas! Be careful, and maybe work on sounding that one out while you fight it!

It’s like a Jail of Jewel in here

(Defeats the Byogen with my special attack) Odai shini~

HACK DA PLANET

Red alert! Gold Ship had entered Koridai and is making a beeline for Ganon’s lair!

Across the ocean lies the island of Koridai. It kind of sucks.

I’ve hired some specialists to deal with the next dungeon.

You can put on a new mask all you want, but I still remember what you did, you racist fuck

Bro you did not.

LINK LOOK OUT!!!

I just need to channel the power of the demons for oooooone second and everything will be fine.

Gwonam Item Closet! This here is Roc’s Feather. It enables you to perform an action that you normally would be able to do anyway. But we’re a special little case, aren’t we, Link?

Fuck this

Budda buh buh

This new dungeon proves to be your most challenging yet, Link…

“Their cock and folds will feel like magma When they forget to wash their smegma!” -The Witch

Why does he looks like my irascible son

Morshu has been assassinamated! That’s how you say it, right? Anyway he’s dead!

You’ve bubbled your last bobble, buster.

FACE EPIC BATTLES

Glutko has located one (1) piece of the Dragoon!

BITE THE FUCKING PAVEMENT HARLEQUIN

This observatory sucks now I HOPE the moon falls and kills us all

(Threatening Goronu with a shotgun) GET ON YOUR KNEES RIGHT NOW AND START PRAYING, MOTHERFUCKER

King Harkinian has been enlarged to colossal proportions due to a magic spell, and now he wants what he’s calling “Omega Dinner!” What will we do?

She slander my tingle til I (a single shot rings out, and then silence. There where once was life, now only distance, and regrets.)

Stupid banana raincoat wearing bitch

Don’t FUCKING touch me

Don’t FUCKING yell at me

Ya hear that, Link? You ain’t welcome here no more! Now get! (Throws stick at Link with tears in his eyes) Get, I say, and don’t come back!