Penn has entered Koridai without Teller, once again showing how much of a FECKLESS CAD he is

A dog just ate bread from Beedle’s hand and instantly turned gay. More at 8.

Bram Stoker’s Link: The Faces of Evil

It’s been two fucking hours and they still haven’t decided on where to go for dinner tonight.

Dude you can’t call King Zora fat, you have to call him fat as fuck

Fuck you Duke Onkled you bitch of bastard I’ll end you before you disgrace King Harkinian ever again

(Watching Link fuck up a car dealership) Who hurt you…?

(Ranting, three drinks in) My hints work because they’re FUNNY!!! Who wants to follow a boring-ass hint? “Go north to find something.” Who gives a fuck? Now I would say “Dude if you go north you’ll get your dick blown off secret style.” Now THAT’S a hint!

Bust a nut on that Skulltula to stun it! …What? Why is everyone laughing? You throw a Deku Nut and it busts and stuns enemies. I don’t know how—oh fuck did I really say that? Oh my God I’m so embarrassed. Pfft… hahaha! All of you are PERVERTS!!

You gormless fuck

You can defeat Goronu in one swell foop! … wait, fuck. Let me do that one again.

Maybe we can finally defeat Ganon if we can enlist the aid of the Bakuryū Sentai Abaranger!

(Gwonam gets lured in by the sirens)

You AREN’T Mr. Gay, you can never BE Mr. Gay, you don’t even deserve to be in the same ROOM as Mr. Gay.

LET FIVEISH AND ERIC SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN YOU MONSTERS

Get this little boy a Digital Monster now!!!

Huh, turns out Harlequin was the Silent Hill Wiki circumcision guy. Small world.

Today is yet another day to think about Abobo’s Big Adventure. Cherish that.

Stop drawing me as pregnant in the fanart, that happened only ONE time, okay?

You have terrorized my toilet, blasted my bidet, and SLANDERED my shower! Get out of my bathroom, Glutko, or perish!

Consider Glutko:

the grrrreatest face in Koridai (drawn in 2010, real YTP golden era lmao)

I actually don’t know how to get to Koridai from Hyrule Castle so buckle up Link this might be a ride

(On the phone with Aypo (the Reader)) I agree that the sewer is one of the funnier places in the world, but have we also considered prison?

Gwōñám

KING HARKINIAN: COMMANDO SENTINEL SYNERGIST ZELDA: RAVAGER COMMANDO MEDIC LINK: COMMANDO RAVAGER SENTINEL IMPA: MEDIC SABOTEUR SYNERGIST MORSHU: SABOTEUR RAVAGER SENTINEL GWONAM: SYNERGIST RAVAGER MEDIC

Welcome to a new paradigm…

goals: scrub all the floors in hyrule (ongoing).

In-flight service on Magic Carpet Airlines consists of whatever you find in the glove compartment and stern looks.

We’re all getting together to kick Duke Onlkled’s ass later if you’re interested

Every day every 9/11 ever happens in Koridai and NONE OF US EVEN CARES

These men said they’re here to fuck you

People generally say this when they see Yoshi.

This was his last known photo.

Throw me the ball, son!

King Harkinian says that Braixen is banned whenever we play Pokken Tournament but I always see him labbing the character when he thinks that nobody is watching. What’s going on?

Surprise, surprise…

Don’t call him poly, we all know that Morshu’s only love is money.

(On the phone, looking confused and furious) What do you MEAN that Morshu “had puppies?” HE’S AN ELF!!!!!

(Later, at the press conference) We can confirm that last night Morshu gave birth to three beautiful golden retriever puppies. I do not know how it happened, and if you try to explain it I WILL kill you. And before anyone asks, the puppies are named Lamp Oil, Rope, and Bombs. They are not for sale.

(On the phone) What the fuck do you mean that Link “specced into pyromancer.” I locked his skill tree.

(On the phone with Da Moon) Three days isn’t enough time, can we make it a week? Okay, how about five days? Come onnnnnn, throw me a bone here!

(On the phone with Morshu) …and then he just laid down and started fuckin’ it so hard

(On the phone with Ganon) No YOU hang up~

(On the phone with King Harkinian) And make sure you bring home a pup cup of vanilla home for Link

(On the phone with Aypo (the Reader)) Bro you can’t say mean things about Impa like that she has the Triforce of Wisdom and her boyfriend’s ex-military

Morshu’s gambling app is doing gang busters right now