(Watching Link getting tortured) This is probably someone else’s fault

If you’re bored then go outside, Link

This is fucking awesome

This is fucking awesome

Find Morshu’s phylactery to progress!

Looks like your next opponent is the GIANT SCARY ROBOT!!!!!!

ExVeemon needs our help!

What if I dropkicked Ganon in the fucking face

Gwonam Trivia Corner! Have you ever wondered why orange juice is the only juice in the store that needs to be refrigerated? This is because orange juice is gay.

NO

Oh damn is Link smoking? Sick.

Ganon has fully researched Animal Husbandry!

Alright, who took a dump in my funny little shoes?

Gwonam Enemy Files! Nah but he got the Diggersby, though. Diggersby though? Diggersby though? Diggersby though? Diggersby though?

Me: Toon Link the enemy is right in front of you get ready to dodge Toon Link: 😯

King Harkinian was last seen running headlong into an enemy horde dual-wielding rocket launchers!

You’ve entered the women’s footwear section! (Dangerous enemy theme starts playing)

Makar has been taken by La Llorona!

Fell asleep on the couch again and woke up to find Glutko licking the dust from the corner of the room like that one random scene from Wizard and Glass

(Watching Link fuck up a car dealership) Who hurt you…?

I’m examining shells and debris on the beach in a desperate search for the King

Catch me in the Mario Galaxy Movie as an off-kilter reference that’s just for the fans!

In Super Mario Galaxy, the stars on the letters of the logo spell "u r mr gay", while for the movie it says "he mr gay". This is because you are watching Mario, not playing him.

Little Bunny Foo Foo has been seen hopping through the forest! He better not be picking up any field mice and bopping them on the head, or the Good Fairy will be cross!

Let’s get some fucking pizza bro

More Links…

I heard Glutko making fun of your gay little hat a few hours ago, Link.

They were going to put me and all your favorite friends in that game as zombie ghoasts but then they PUSSED OUT AT THE LAST SECOND

Thinking about reawakening the undying light later

Fiiiiiyaaaaah Eeeembleeeeem, soooome, thing something Laaaaatiiiin

Bust a nut on that Skulltula to stun it! …What? Why is everyone laughing? You throw a Deku Nut and it busts and stuns enemies. I don’t know how—oh fuck did I really say that? Oh my God I’m so embarrassed. Pfft… hahaha! All of you are PERVERTS!!

Gwonam Ally Portfolio! Oh, good, another fucking kid. This one’s Aegiomon. He’s some kind of dog fusion homunculus. I’m pretty sure he has lightning powers, so go crazy. At least he shows old Gwonam a little respect sometimes.

Bury that pig fuck, Link!

Bro Link just ran up and did a flying dropkick on Ralsei

Mister Harkinian! Chef Kawasaki said sex!!

My word, that KK Slider chap is naked beneath his guitar!

Wii Fit Trainer had taken the bridge!

A group of 5 Moblins have taken Hyrule’s Dota 2 scene by storm with their masterful play and phenomenal racism

In Hyrule kobolds are the dog guys but in Koridai they’re lizards.

Not my mystical ass being cast as the supporting lead in the new crime drama series sweeping the blogosphere

1-800-R-U-LINKING

Glutko was last seen googling “BDSM for Protestants” on the Library public computer and crying

Excellent penis, King Harkinian, simply stunning

New Link can’t Triforce lol

Gwonam: So then I sent Link into the meat grinder and he actually went in! Total dumbass, right! So anyway his chunks start flying everywhere and— Therapist: I’ve fallen in love with you.

Oh damn Link just slugged Goronu in the gut and he threw up

An anthropomorphic lion boy has entered Koridai!

My flying carpet has become sentient and has started killing!