"During a perfectly innocent exchange regarding recovery supplements, I momentarily lost grip of my phone and accidentally sent a photograph of my exposed lower half to Ms. Azealia Banks..."

Never forget...

I honestly give up...

BREAKING: Taoiseach announces plans to convert GPO into Europe's largest Boojum

BREAKING: British government warns that anti-IDF chants at Glastonbury could radicalize people into not bombing hospitals

BREAKING: When asked about footage of him assaulting a man in an Ibiza nightclub, presidential hopeful Conor McGregor replied: “FUCK OFF. I’LL KILL YOU. GIVE ME COCAINE.”

BREAKING: British Government reminds public that posing with a flag is "terrorism" and that arming a genocide is "robust foreign policy"

BREAKING: Government confirm that beefing with rap groups will remain a top priority ahead of minor concerns such as the housing crisis

BREAKING: "Horrified" Micheál Martin attends Kneecap gig

BREAKING: Burke family confuse American police with game of invisible twister

BREAKING: Micheál Martin meets Vice President JD Vance for breakfast in Washington

The ads on twitter are getting out of control

Gerry Adams photographed alongside Martin McGuinness (1987)

BREAKING: Robbie Keane set to become the new manager of the North Korean National Team

my festive ass watching Patrick Kielty get bullied by children for two hours straight #LateLateToyShow

BREAKING: Tricolour to be flown at half-mast today at Leinster House following the split of Barry Keoghan and Sabrina Carpenter

BREAKING: Margaret Thatcher (FG) has been elected in Dublin Mid West #ge24

BREAKING: Baron Harkonnen (FF) has been elected in Louth #ge24

BREAKING: Emperor Palpatine (FG) has been elected in Galway East #ge24

BREAKING: The Dark Lord Sauron (FF) has been elected in Dublin Fingal East

BREAKING: Tommy Shlug (IND) has arrived at the Mayo constituency count centre in Castlebar #ge24

"What Senator McGahon did with that twix in that tent was an act of self defence..." #leadersdebate #rtept

The mood if it ends up being a FF/FG majority:

Fine Gael dropping 6 points the week of an election:

Can't wait to vote for Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael on Friday after a long hard shift at the 'getting hit in the head repeatedly with a hammer' factory

BREAKING: Paul Mescal shares his experience meeting King Charles III "I wanted to strangle the inbred c*nt with my bare hands"

Micheál Martin after a long day of looking like a gimp while canvassing:

This account getting 2,000 followers:

BREAKING: Donald Trump has selected Conor McGregor as the new head of the Drug Enforcement Administration

BREAKING: Irish actor Barry Keoghan disintegrates after eating a spicy chicken wing on Hot Ones

BREAKING: Croke Park to be renamed the Abrakebabra Arena in new sponsorship deal

BREAKING: Magical forcefield protecting the six counties from adverse weather according to Met Éireann

"So it begins..."

I'll be doing my best to exude this type of energy next week 🎄