Ugh, damn it. Shingles blisters keep popping up on my finger. Alright, I’m going to sleep now, dude, calm down.

I had a blast watching Alien 1 and 2 back-to-back. This is what a classic feels like... truly a masterpiece

Abaddon’s kinda cute, huh? (Playing Haunted Hotel just to fuck him)

The cloudy weather just before it rains is unbearably lovely. I have to go for a walk.

Oh, self-improvement is masturbation. Now, self-destruction....

Hmm, self-loathing… If I’m actually someone with objectively loathsome traits, maybe self-loathing isn’t self-destructive but rather a sign I’m pretty self-aware? I’ve been analyzing the disgusting parts of my personality since 2017, and I feel like it was justified.

Maybe what I want to create by drawing isn’t money, but just dopamine. If that’s the case… should I be careful about it? Because becoming famous is thrilling, whether it’s in a good way or a bad way… When it gets thrilling, it feels good, and feeling good means it’s beneficial, right?

아짜증나ㅋㅋ

님들아! 개좆같네요 당분간은 걍 트이타 안파고 팬박스&디시 위주로 활동하겠습니다 일론머스크개시발새낔ㅋ Yo, shit's fucked up! I'm gonna chill on Twitter for a while and stick to Fanbox and DC. Fuck Elon Musk, that bastard lol

아이 시발 바빠 죽겠는데 ㅅㅂㅋㅋㅋ 뒤지실래요?

Talking to people feels incredibly interesting to me, like writing out a detailed essay I want to solve. I enjoy it, but it takes a long time to process and drains a ton of energy at the same time.

Impulsive actions always lead to guilt and overwork... At least it was fun.

The reason I’m slow to respond to messages, including DMs: Communication takes the most energy out of me, so it’s tough when I’m tired. Also, I’m a workaholic who gets anxious if I feel I haven’t achieved enough work in a day... Yeah, maybe all of this is just my excuse, damn it.

Me, being comforted:

I'm gonna ride my bike around town for a bit. Riding a bike is fucking awesome. Except for the part where you’re more likely to get hit by a motorcycle or car, lol.

I'm always trying to get the hang of drawing lines. Probably because I use a pen tablet, I'm convincing myself it's harder lol

Jerk off to my drawing, not me, damn it

I've been skipping meals so much I haven't had time to watch Breaking Bad. What a tragedy.

Every time I get a Steam notification that my cousin’s playing DBD, I’m so damn jealous

Jade started cross-dressing mainly to 'look more attractive while hustling,' so if he didn’t need to hustle, he probably wouldn’t be this deep into it. Plus: he is not jealous of boys who rock cross-dressing better, but he’d definitely envy a peer who embodies the ideal masculinity he imagines.

Early Jade felt like a harder-to-read, emotionless character. He gave off a gloomy, quiet vibe, lol. His personality got lighter as he was used for gags and NSFW stuff. His expressions still aren’t very dynamic, so even now, his eyebrows aren’t drawn with much detail.

I know it’s kinda niche, but I enjoy drawing porn of kids’ cartoons. It’s about dragging those characters into situations they’d never be in. Especially with Kor comics that could legally get me in trouble—it’s twice as thrilling lol

I did draw some stuff about manta, but... it’s kinda this crap You guys know what kinda person I am lol

성기능 장애 생기고싶다

Just hit me—two years ago, if things had worked out with that girl I really liked, I wouldn’t be who I am now. You gotta face every aspect of the outcome. Every choice has its light and shadow, and we all confront the opportunity costs of life somehow. Nothing’s inherently good or bad.

Considering how much of a pain it was, it turned out pretty damn good, right? (Though the longer hair version looks worse than this.)

Honestly, I don’t want to keep up this life of sitting hunched over a computer all day, scribbling drawings or pixel art for too long. If things had gone 'as planned,' I’d be working at a fast-food joint and hanging out with the local drum club. This lifestyle is high-risk and burns you out fast.

Damn it. I barely got any sleep. In my dream, I definitely slept till morning. Why can't I sleep more than 3 hours at night? It's been almost six months now, and it's ridiculous that these symptoms started haunting me right after I moved back to my parents' place.

When someone asks me what I want to eat, I usually say, "Just something quick. I want something that takes 5 minutes to eat, lol." So I end up eating what the other person wants.

My mom said she wanted kuksi tteokbokki, so I ordered some after a damn long time.

Stuff I think about multiple times a day: I've got the mental clarity to make solid decisions and a stable enough headspace to fully control everything I can. Time to make a list and get shit done.

boys doing boy things like jade taking revenge on toki for having a huge dick #blueskywhiteout

Finally caught up with my best bro. Told him yesterday I’d whip up some milkshakes if he swung by today. We just munched on sweet milkshakes and brown cheese biscuits, shooting the shit for hours. Known each other for 11 years, so that’s more than enough.

Man, why am I so damn wiped out today... lol. Anyway, gonna grind through some real progress on dol mode today. This is just a quick doodle—drawing practice (using a photo ref).

I need someone to go absolutely feral with me for one wild night and then pretend we never fucking existed to each other forever. Yeah, of course AIDS and syphilis are a hard pass. That's why this shit's so damn tricky...

🖕🖕FUCK CENSORSHIP🖕🖕 QUOTE YOUR NSFW i draw a lot of toki getting around, especially with jade because i'm an addict ♪

I wanna quit bitching about it, but being around Mom always turns into nonstop talk about investments, stocks, my ^stable^ job, savings, or the goddamn chores I gotta handle—it's fucking draining.

Smoke a cig and come back to grind on something more VS Just jerk off and crash But I'll probably go with the first one. Those blisters from my chronic condition have been popping up steadily lately.

Gotta nail my household duties, keep my side gig humming, and not ghost my social circle—but time's always dipping out on me. And man, I'm slow as molasses. I've always been salty that I've only got less than two bodies to work with.

Woke up after sleeping like 4 hours because of my goddamn ^roommate^, mood totally fucked, so I did some thinking. About why I shouldn't smoke, you know. I mean, breathing's already a fucking nightmare—lung cancer or whatever, who gives a shit? So I lit one up.

Geez Why does just living so close to my family make me feel this fucking miserable? Mental inflammation Avoidance Avoidance Wrist cuts Countless stupid fuckups Nobody's actually bad, but it's so fucking hard—this is all my problem, shit. The sorrow of a born social misfit

Whoa, I just finished watching the Breaking Bad season 4 finale. Oh fuck! Damn, Walter White! I fucking love every single element of this show.

Wow, drawing a cut with Jade and Eden together for the first time, huh. Eden's literally the one who became a paradise for him back when Jade was homeless with no money, getting caught by Bailey and sold off over and over lol.

It got delivered now? It’s freaking 12:30 AM! Korea’s wild as hell for this kinda thing.

Honestly, maybe what I want isn’t so much praise from other people as just stimulation. One of the recent comments I got was, “there’s no way AI could make a fucking shitty drawing like this,” and even now, just thinking about that comment makes me grin like crazy. Ah, dopamine.

The moment I took two bites of this donut, I thought, “Damn, this is gonna take a while to finish.” I know, I walked into Krispy Kreme with my own two feet and bought a sugar-glazed donut stuffed with whipped cream, so who am I to complain? But still, it’s just too damn sweet.

Damn, I feel like I’m gonna get an ear infection or something. Guess I really need to order a Bluetooth headset now...

I dunno. Feels like every damn part of me is screaming that it's time to isolate myself again. Let's be alone together We can stay young forever We'll stay young, young, young, young, young...