I use to watch the man show at a young age and now every time I see joe rogan my dick gets really hard

Got called a film buff at work yesterday feeling like this. Riding that high for a while

Everybody is gay.... on gay island

I use to be somebody

Are you ready to enter a world of pain playboy?

*approaching a girl at the bar* This is going to sound crazy but you were in my dream last night and you died you fucking died you got destroyed there was nothing left of your body

*ordering fast food in the year 2060* Yeah uhh gimme some of that red stuff mixed with the blue stuff hold the green stuff please, oh $160 seems reasonable that's my entire weeks pay thank you

Right wing e girls are so retarded and disgusting because they gave themselves brain damage from having an eating disorder

This post is brought to you by displate get your own stupid metal poster of Rick and Marty fucking smoking weed or whatever

Excuse me ma'am I think that guy put something in your drink *they turn to look but its actually me standing there across the bar now and when they turn back to me at the table I have vanished without a trace*

It's crazy how school bus driver is like a really important job but every school bus driver is a 45 year old alcoholic women whats up with that

Yeah welcome to my house just step around the 3 full litter boxes and if you want we can have sex on my twin sized floor mattress with the big yellow stain

If I found out all fast food was human meat I would probably be okay i guess nothing I can do about it now

From whence you came, you foul beast

Tetris should be the only video game ever

It seems you have gotten rounder anon, this pleases me

"The government is making fake snow" okay why are they doing that?

We are all immigrants, except for me I was born directly from God in providence, Rhode island

The government is making this huge storm happen so all the idiots who bought snow plows 7 years ago can recoup their loses

I won't go quietly I will always fight to my last breath

Guy got fired at work today because he opened his car door and a bunch of empty vodka nips fell out like something a cartoon character would do after a bender and the plant manager was parked right next to him

two tickets to hamnet please, hold the ham

I ❤️ civil liberties but I would never ever ever ever stand up to my boss because I might lost my income for rent and cheeseburgers

It's easy to say horror movies suck now and are mainstream with bad guys named like "the grabber" who grabs kids but 20 years ago we had shit like "the bye bye man" so who's to say what's better

Gordon ramsay: this is dreadful you actually eat this crap every night? 63 year old round headed red faced englishman: me misses ain't the best cook... but aye luv her

Who's trying to play

Spending 20 mins on the toilet at work on a Friday night is low key a vibe

I made the mistake on here of quoting a fetish account as a joke and now my timeline is just hairy bears and diaper boys :(

Damn bro cant even escape the annoying men's wear guy on here either fuck you @dieworkwear.bsky.social

Holding up the line at the dispensary because im too busy yelling at the 18 year old budtender for not knowing who Weezer is

Doritos should team up with hot ones to invent diarrhea chips

They should invent a food that just makes you sick

This looks like a guy i work with. You ever think that you could be working with a guy like this and you would never know.... eerie

Cigarette and wind for work dinner tonight

Dick accidentally touched the toilet seat at work

I dont eat cats or dogs

Welcome to the smolbean no kings rally umm nothing violent please no graffiti we have to respect our overlords also please no face masks we have a new AI that scans and logs your face, gender, salary and we reallllly need that data to send to ICE thanks for your cooperation cattle, I mean human

Yes

Look at my cute dog

Welcome to bluesky solider

Good mythical morning officer what seems to be the problem here?

"Bluesky elder" interesting thing to call yourself you CENTRIST LIBERAL!!!!

🎶 someone pour me up a double shot of pee pee 🎶

I would make a great step father to your son anon, check this out *I do a back flip and break my neck and void my bowels completely*

Ill never be added to a bluesky starter pack because I challenge social norms and attack people on my own side for being gay and cringe also im chopped and unc and bald and middle aged

My hideous vile wife with nice tits, Laura loomer just died...she fucking died she's dead

Today October 16th 2025, marks my 3 years clean from crack cocaine a very big achievement in my life which sucks because I wish I just never got hooked on it and ruined my life but here's to the future I guess

Believe it or not doing this gave me an ulcer like 6 months ago so I actually cant recommend it

Im sorry man if you think twitter group dms are the reason trump won or whatever you have actual rocks in your brain

Good morning star. Buck Barista give me the biggest cup of semen you have because I am a gay liberal who likes this stuff.... my name for the order? Heh charlie kirk