Gabe swings his butt & shakes his feathers, going full The #Clash on me. The grumpiest angel ever turned punk diva. I bite my lip to stop a giggle. 'Should I Stay or Should I Go?' Definitely stay. I whip out my phone, stream to Faetube, & watch the views explode. #vss365

'I am Gabriam, representative of the Angel Council - & this is my pixie #associate, Ariadne Greenlegs. Pix for short. We save the world on a regular basis. Well... I do. Pix usually causes the calamity.' 'Huff. Not true, Gabe! Well... not always.' #vss365 books2read.com/u/bODv1N

'Gabe, we have to enter the Gnomes Monthly home design contest.' 'That wouldn't work, Pixie? You burn down, blow up, or pulverize my house every 5 minutes.' 'Exactly! We're the perfect #advert. If they hate the look, relax - I can guarantee to remodel by lunchtime.' #vss365

People underestimate how precise you have to be with a pixie charm. One slip, one sneeze, & poof - instead of a mild confidence boost, Gabe's underwear #elastic snaps mid-speech to the Angel Council. I'm telling you - precision matters. Mischief? Pure coincidence. #vss365

'Gabe. GABE! Gossip is you brawled in the Angel Arms after some lowlife slandered Betty the bar manager. Is it true? Did you beat him to a #pulp? Wait... why are feathers everywhere? Ohhh... that shiner. A split lip. And hobbling too... I guess he did the pulping.' #vss365

'Wow, Gabe. You're so calm.' 'I've learned to be an #oasis of calm amid chaos.' 'That's great. Especially since I, uh, broke your vase... singed your sofa... smashed your harp...' 'I am an oasis. I AM an oasis.' 'And burned down your house.' 'PIXIE! Get back here.' #vss365

'I'm telling you, Gabe, it all happened so quickly, it's a bit of a #blur. But... I think it was bees. Yes, definitely bees. They swarmed in, hundreds of them, & stole the lot.' '...Bees? Really, Pixie?! They stole that huge plate of brownies.' BURP! 'Uh-huh.' #vss365

'What a #conundrum, Pixie. Maybe this will teach you playing with demon portals is a bad idea. So what will you do? Release the demon portal & hope you can get to the last brownie before it's sucked through. OR close it properly & watch me claim that chocolatey delight?' #vss365

'We need to #sublimate all this prank energy into something useful, Pixie.' 'Why, Gabe?' 'So you become a valued member of society.' 'Already am, Gabe.' 'No, you're an annoying member.' 'Nuh-uh, Mr Frownie-Face. I make people smile. Methinks you need sublimating.' #vss365

Being the prank queen isn't always glitter & giggles. Stealth & speedy getaways are a survival skill. So either Gabe's rigged this #escutcheon with some pixie-proofing, or I've snacked on one too many brownies. Oh well... 'Gabe! Help!' #vss365

'Look, Gabe - floors gleam, dishes shine, laundry folded. Party time.' 'Hold up, Pixie. This happened suspiciously fast.' 'Fast? Me? Just efficient... no need for such #scrutiny... trust me, Gabe... okay, maybe don't... fine, fine - it was a glamour charm. I'll fetch the hoover. Sigh.' #vss365

The not-so- #sonorous plink, plonk, twang echoes through the village, chased by the drum roll of slamming windows. I hand out earplugs on the main street, muttering apologies. Gabe's harp practice continues. Relentless. Terrible. And weirdly inspiring. #vss365

'Your #caprice is making me dizzy, Pixie.' 'I can't help it, Gabe. I start with anticipation that builds & builds, then joy - no, bliss - a long wingbeat of rapture, followed by a niggling sense of loss, which finally lands in sadness because... the brownie is all gone.' #vss365

'Gabe. GABE! I'm here, Gabe. Your message sounded apocalypse-level urgent, so I prepped for every #eventuality - stink bombs, slingshot, charms, potions, glitter, a rubber chicken. I even roped in Dolly the dragon. So what's the big emergency... Ah... Hello, Mama G.' #vss365

'What do you reckon, Gabe? More glitter or tinsel?' 'Hmmm... that's an interesting outfit, Pixie.' 'Pfft, you've no taste, Gabe. I'm going to be a complete #bellwether.' 'You look like a disco ball fighting with a strobe light.' 'Exactly. That's fashion, Gabe. Keep up!' #vss365

'How are you feeling, Gabe? Still sniffly? Your mama sent her famous chicken noodle soup to #reinvigorate you. She says I gotta report back to her.' 'Nooooo. Not the infamous soup! You try some Pixie.' Slurp. 'Ugh, vile. But if you don't eat it... I'm still snitching.' #vss365

' #Perhaps you could do it, Gabe?' 'Perhaps not, Pixie.' 'Perhaps consider I'm wrecked after giving Dolly the Dragon a dental.' 'Perhaps stop whining & do your chores.' 'Perhaps check your feather tonic for itching powder in future.' '...Perhaps—just this once—I'll do it.' #vss365

' #Catastrophe, Gabe? No! More a glitch. A hiccup. There's no need to be rude! What would your mother say? At least with the petrifaction reaching your head, I don't have to listen to your potty mouth. Now don't move while I work out a reversal charm. Giggle. Not that you could.' #vss365

'Pixie! I feel all wibbly-wobbly - my arms & legs aren't usually this long.' 'Relax, Gabe. It's just the #extrusion effect of passing through the portal. They'll shrink back. And hey, it's a small price to pay to avoid sitting through your mama's holiday photos.' 'Point taken.' #vss365

'Pixie, whatever has happened? You're as white as a unicorn.' 'Th...th...th...' 'Take your time. You're having a panic attack. Sit down. Now breathe... OK? Are you feeling better.' 'Noooooo. It's closed for a st...#stock take, Gabe. The shop. And there are no brownies!' #vss365

Pixie's pranks? So outrageous she ended up in Faery Court. Gabe's rule book? 365 pages long. She treats consequences like confetti. He files complaints in triplicate. But when reality starts to unravel, the dysfunctional duo morph into a world-saving #synthesis. #vss365

'Nobody #conspires against you, Pixie. The world is not out to get you. And I certainly am not a mean curmudgeon.' Sob. 'You'll survive. I know you don't find it easy, Pixie, but you're just going to have to be patient. Eventually the shop will restock with brownies.' #vss365

'Pixie! I can't believe you got me in this mess. How do I steer this thing?' 'Don't be daft, Gabe. It's not like you can use a #rein - I mean, they'd burn. Just hang on & enjoy.' 'Enjoy! I'm stuck on a dragon who probably thinks I'm a snack & you... you're a toothpick.' #vss365

'Stop being so dramatic, Pixie.' Sniffle. 'You've no idea the pain I'm in, Gabe.' 'Hold still. No #flinching. And I'll get it sorted.' 'Owwwwwwwww!' 'I haven't touched you yet.' 'Don't Gabe. DONT!' 'There. Removed. A splinter so tiny you'd need a microscope to see it.' #vss365

'Woah, Gabe. Maroon velvet, lace cuffs & ruffs. Are you absolutely certain you want to wear that?' 'It's a traditional robe, Pixie. An heirloom in fact - for the Angel Council meeting. You wouldn't understand the #style.' 'Style!' Giggle. 'That's more a fashion disaster.' #vss365

'What are all these pixies doing here?' 'Interviews, Gabe. I'm looking for #potential actors to play me when the pet human's book is made into a movie.' 'Honestly! You? On screen, Pixie?' 'Please. I'm the star. You'd be CGI.' 'Dream on, Pixie.' Dream on, pet human. #vss365

'Nooo, Gabe. Have mercy. Don't make me do more. I'm #exhausted! Broken. Driven beyond bearance.' 'Oh dear. Poor, Pixie. I am a hard task master. Three hours of toil & you've managed... 1 spoon in the washer.' Sniffle. Dramatic sigh. #vss365

'I'm sorry, Gabe. I tried to behave for the hearing... I mean, I only used 1 stink bomb... But I'll make it up to you: empty the dishwasher, dust your mediocre trophies, & polish your halos. Will that make it more #bearable?' '...Another year as your parole officer, Pixie. Nothing will!' #vss365

'Is that a brownie #wrapper, Pixie?' 'Absolutely not, Gabe. It's a...ummm... ok, you're right. It is.' 'The last brownie wrapper?' 'No! There were two more when I ate this.' 'Hmmm... and did they happen to be in those 2 empty wrappers over there.' '...they may have been.' #vss365

Now Pix contains a drop of angel #power, she feels about as welcome as a troll fart in Faery Valley. Can a pixie charm hide her new power? Or will it lead to... the end of the world! Find out in Pix and Gabe's 2nd big adventure. #vss365 www.amazon.com/Ghost-Orb-Pi...

'Pixie! When I asked you to open a portal to somewhere warm for my holiday, I was expecting a beach & palm trees, not a #doorway to the Underworld!' 'It IS warm, Gabe. You can play fetch with Cerberus, & Hades is a great cook.' 'Hmmm... I admit, his fondue is marvellous.' #vss365

I fidget, waiting for the tell-tale shower song: the definitive way of knowing Gabe's mood. Will it be "Hello Darkness, My Old Friend"? Maybe "It's My Party & I'll Cry if I Want To"? Or "Under pressure"? ...No! The horror. It's "Take A #Chance On Me". He's in love. Again! #vss365

'#Article 225, sub-clause 16d - the aforementioned Pixie will not under any circumstances be within 10 feet of the aggrieved angel's diary. Failure to comply with said clause will result in removal of snack privileges &-' 'Ah, come on, Gabe, just let me finish this page.' #vss365

'I'm sorry, Gabe. I wasn't #conscious of doing it. You know pixies are hard-wired to play pranks. It just happened.' '...so, Pixie, you want me to believe that summoning a ghost eyeball to pop up in my food & wink at random & inconvenient moments was... an accident?' 😬 #vss365

'It's tyranny, Gabe! You hijacking my life with your #arbitrary decisions.' 'Actually, Pixie, it's called parole. Now you can either agree, or go back to gaol.' 'Hmph! Fine. If you're going to be like that I suppose I don't have a choice. I'll share the last brownie.' #vss365

'Gabe! Quick! She's heading straight for you. Don't just stand there. Grab her!' Squelch. 'Eugh... Gabe... Sorry. My baby niece has perfected the art of the #elude. But you nearly had her with that rugby tackle. Just a pity her diaper detonated in the process. #vss365

Gabe's got more secrets in his #past than a toads got warts. He claims he never knew my missing dad, yet carries one of his creations. An object of power. What isn't he telling me? Find out in The Shadow Deception. Pix & Gabe's first big adventure. #vss365 katemachon.com/books/

'I #yearn for the crystal spires of Angel City, Pixie, for the silence of falling snow, for the sunrise reflected in a drop of dew...' 'Wow, Gabe... that's... deep. But I only asked if you wanted a brownie.' #vss365

'Pixie, they already have names. You can't just make them up.' 'But, Gabe, that #constellation is clearly The Mischievous Pixie.' 'No! It's Orion.' 'Then how come it's running from The Grumpy Angel.' Splutter. 'Ridiculous.' #vss365

'Stop, Pixie! Neither of us move. There's that smell. The one everybody knows. One of us has trodden in something. Check your shoes.' 'You're right, Gabe. That's real #pungent. Groan... it's me. I hate it when I tread in dragon poo.' #vss365

For once, this is 100% not my fault. It was Gabe that looked into Medusa's #malignant, snaky gaze & got turned to stone. I'm the hero who's going to find a cure. Although... I guess I did invite her to tea... and I didn't warn Gabe... but even so, he can't be mad. Can he? #vss365

'You look #jovial, Gabe.' 'Indeed, Pixie. Today I am tasked with minuting the sub-sub-committee of the Angel Council - debating the finer points of optimal halo dimensions, buffing protocols, & general maintenance.' 'Wow, Gabe... catch me before I swoon with boredom.' #vss365

'Pixie, I'm not asking again! Clean your bedroom before something in that primordial stew of dirty plates, socks, & crusty toenail clippings turns #sentient.' 'I think it's too late, Gabe. I heard voices under my bed discussing the philosophy of dust bunnies last night.' #vss365

'Well, Gabe... that plan is #audacious.' 'Nonsense, Pixie, telling the truth is best. They'll understand it was an accident.' 'Hmmm... how come you expect to be believed when you never believe my accidents?' 'Pixie... burning down my house 25 times is stretching it.' #vss365

'You pressed the button, didn't you, Pixie? After I expressly said not to.' I smile innocently, even though the walls shake with the #bass thunder of 1,000 approaching angel wings. 'I wondered what it did, Gabe.' 'Congrats. You hit the apocalypse button. Now you get explain it's a prank!' #vss365

'You promised me brownie perfection in return for my help, Gabe. Not these #malformed steaming lumps?' 'Well, if you don't want them, Pixie...' 'Not so fast. Get back in that kitchen & bake them right this time. I'll just... keep an eye on these while you're gone.' Munch. #vss365

'This #reek s of deception, Pixie. The house is spotless, the brownies untouched. No smoke. No glitter trails. No dragons on the sofa. Which means one thing... sigh... I'm dreaming, aren't I?' 'Gabe! GABE! Help.' '...and there's my wake up call.' #vss365

'What I want, Pixie is a nice, quiet, #mundane day.' 'But, Gabe-' 'No, Pixie! I do not want to be frozen by an icedrake, sizzled by a fire salamander, or chewed up and spat out by a giant slug. Do you understand?!' '...That's a no to the banshee karaoke night, then?' #vss365

My eyelids droop. I twitch myself to wakefulness. Opposite me, Gabe fidgets, mantling his wings. This #vigil feels endless, but finally, one of us must succumb. Sleeps allure is too strong. Gabe's eyes close. An instant is all I need. I seize the last brownie & flee. #vss365

This is a good one! Look at Gabe, jaw tight, arms folded, wings twitching. It's got to be near the top of the Gabe #seethe chart. I think lightning might actually shoot from his eyes. Note to self: swapping Gabe's feather oil with slug slime may actually make him explode. #vss365