Finally listened to TS’ new album and it is very trad wife / I have sex with big dicks now.

I really think my psychiatric consultant needs a therapist.

Nothing like a bit of Claudia Winkleman (and her infamous fringe) in Scotland to cheer up my day. #CelebrityTraitors

Finally caught up on #GBBO

If you know, you know.

The annual, mandatory ritual…

Hey Jack Whitehall - this is the regime you are currently shilling for at the Saudi Comedy Festival.

I have never encountered a GP surgery’s receptionist that I believe wanted me to live.

Just found out that a dear friend of mine was diagnosed this morning with extremely advanced stomach cancer and has been give less than a month. Today sucks.

I’m still thinking about this: Went to a wedding the other day and the couple’s first dance was to Whitney Houston’s Saving All My Love For You - did they never listen to the lyrics? It is about a woman who is having an affair with a married man 🤦🏼‍♂️

I don’t do therapy but I watch A LOT of true crime documentaries / docu-series.

This seems to just apply to America at the moment but given the week they have had - this is the most tone deaf company decision imaginable. 💰

I have started in of series 3 of The Morning Show on Apple TV+. I really have no idea what this show is supposed to be (or how it keeps getting renewed).

First day back in the office since early summer and girls, it was a struggle.

Hooking up with my PT and his husband was the perfect ending to a relaxing weekend 😏

Goodnight Bluesky boyfriends 😘

Post a female character you love

Fuck Bob Iger and fuck Disney.

Just about to fly home. After nearly 2 weeks, I miss my bed very much.

I would never say this couple deserved it but why the fuck would you purposefully choose to travel through a country that we are at all intents and purposes at war with? news.sky.com/story/theyre...

How do you answer your phone?l

Good! www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cz...

It appears that Canada has figured out an elegantly simple solution to the “which toilet problem”.

For fuck sake - the Government of Isreal has totally lost the plot. Launching missiles / drones into another country that is central to the peace process is beyond insane. www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c7...

The Eurostar flash sale is now on (average £35 each way) - who wants to go to Paris for dinner next month?

Staying at a pretty nice hotel (Fairmont Banff Springs) and this woman and her husband are walking around the lobby in bare feet 😒

Here, I fixed it for you Sky News / Beth Rigby: Nigel Farage admits he *LIED* over house ownership after a week that proves how much details matter. news.sky.com/story/nigel-...

If you see this post, repost with a vampire that is not Dracula.

I’ve been in Canada since Tuesday, and the food is giving me issues (not in a good way).

Awe, too bad, so sad. #FAFO Graham Linehan arrested at Heathrow over his X posts www.bbc.com/news/article...

Heading to Canada for two weeks today before my annual leave is over. My flight is already 3 hours delayed - this is going to try my patience 🫠

Semi-softie Sunday 🍆

If Angela Rayner lived in a cardboard box, the Telegraph would claim she nicked it.

My sexy Royal Navy Submariner FWB is on leave this weekend - I guess I know what (who) I am doing this weekend 😏

Every swiftie until the wedding:

The last thing this war needs is Tony Blair. Blair joins White House meeting with Trump on post-war Gaza www.bbc.com/news/article...

I’m sure it is devastating for the families but America has made it very clear, sadly, that this problem isn’t worth doing anything about. www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cl...

At Gard du Nord for the train back to London and there is an American SCREAMING “you have no authority” at a French border agent - this isn’t going to end well for her. 😂😂😂

Finally have a fab time at @lpcahill.bsky.social happy place (Paris, not Orlando).

Trying to get to Disneyland Paris but an individual has been killed on the only rail line there. Will I get there, who knows 🤷🏼‍♂️

Girl, same. #Deteriorated

Hungover as fuck at the Louvre today.

Are the English and UK flags inherently racist, no. HOWEVER, a man that drapes himself in the flag and calls himself a “patriot” most likely is a racist.

Being cultured at the Musée d’Orsay

She made it (although there are a number of fucking annoying children / absent parts so the journey has not been relaxing 🇫🇷⚜️

So, just had coffee with an incoming work colleague and not sure how we got around to it but the conversation ended up on supermarkets - and then he proceeded to give me shit because I have never shopped at Aldi, Lidl or Asda - dude, there are none of those around where I live 😡

Why the fuck do broadcasters (BBC and Channel 4) advertise a show (Drag Race UK, GBBO, etc) as “coming soon”? Just give us the start date or shut the fuck up.

For all the Waitrose girlies, Pecorino Romano DOP (Strength 5) is half price today. You’re welcome. 🧀

A friend of mine called me high maintenance today at dinner - I told her that I agreed BUT I know how to maintain it myself 💁🏼‍♂️

You've been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who's coming to save you? I think I am fucked (not in a good way).