After Michael, I’m really looking forward to the Jimmy Saville film focusing on his early DJ career and equally “Jeffrey Epstein the finance years”

I want to make a difference, but how much more can I do? I want to reach in front of me, but it’s just as easy as going behind. If only I could make a real maths joke.

Being autistic is winning the race, but not standing in the right line to get your medal and leaving empty handed.

If you have trouble understanding Generation X, just remember this one thing. We don’t like (insert pop culture thing) because that upsets/annoys/feeds our need to be relevant.

Worst British People in 2026; Russell Brand Nigel Farage Dan Wootton Best British People in 2026: Zack Polanski Gary Lineker Trevor & Simon

The Reform Party: Racist manifesto, because every acquittal helps.

Basic conspiracy theorists: “The moon is a projection etc.” Oh shit conspiracy theorists: “Jichael Mackson and Eeffrey Jpestein are still alive and still active. That’s their pseudonyms, Obviously”

Bruce Wayne?

He’d be so happy to read this.

The most unrealistic scene in a film? Tom Cruise and Brian Brown throwing bottles to each other in Cocktail, and the numerous people at the bar enjoying it.

It’s true that Sgt. Peppers isn’t as good as it’s made out to be. But Pet Sounds and Their Satanic Majesties Request are episodic as best, and very repetitive.

What’s the most 90’s way to disenfranchise a whole decade?

Revenge is like icecream, nobody wants room temperature revenge.

Going out in the semis will be fine this time.

What’s Eddie Vedder getting at in rearviewmirror? Does he: Want you on sitting on his back seat? Want you following behind closely in your car so he can show you the way? Want you to stand alone while he drives away leaving you forever?

“This type of beer should be drank at just below room temperature” Translation: “It’s so cheap because we don’t have to cool it down. And we’ve brainwashed you into thinking it tastes better warmer, it tastes the same regardless of temperature” And that’s why CAMRA have a contract out for me.

A.I. “You just keep trying till you run out of cake”

If they made Happy Days today it would be set in the 21st Century and Henry Winkler could never pull off being a millennial.

“Open the door (Yeah sweet mamma) We gotta open the door (And the door is opening) You’re playing the song that opens the door, we recorded this song for when you open the door (Specially timed to the duration of the opening process)” In my head for to long now, and I sing it when I’m near a door.

Good Business Man = Greedy Cunt

Looks like Southampton’s pitch isn’t flat enough.

I wish that something would happen.

I really want a job as a question writer on Impossible, what do you think? “True or False: As a child George Eliot was teased at school and was called George Smelliot?”

Who needs satire when you can watch The Liz Truss Show.

50 years of being wrong, weird, stupid, moronic, stop it, why, silly, insensitive, idiot, fuck up, sad, dumb, daft, thick, dense, strange, infuriating, trouble, irritating, mistaken, offensive, inept, depressing, attention seeking, sick, unwell. I’m autistic, I’m still all these things apparently.

Nothing hits harder than a Woody Guthrie kids song.

Can’t wait for the uk version of 30 Rock in 2056.

Yeah, like a regular flat eather.

I’m officially autistic. As always, I’m the last to know.

Chuck Norris is dead. The jokes weren’t funny before, they’re all redundant now.

This post probably involved all of his staff, and I’m pretty sure it took so long they had to keep checking the news to make sure it was still relevant. Then again maybe not.

Pub quiz. 2033. Sports Question. Which country won the 2026 AFCON final? 27 arrests.

“Make it sew”

How to tell if the band you like is awful. If you rate each song on a scale of how good it is: Awful. If your opinion of the songs changes on your general mental wellbeing: Good.

Somewhere there’s a Man Utd fan with a magic lamp.

Good name for a Deftones cover band, Deft Ones. Might not get away with it though, mainly because you’ll have to play Deftones songs.

This week I have been mostly watching Small Prophets and How to Get to Heaven from Belfast. So it’s been a fucking good week.

Looks like left and right isn’t working anymore, going to have to revert back to right and wrong.

What’s a worse feeling? Not knowing death is watching you and you’re next. Or knowing it’s there and it does nothing?

Being called woke is like a badge of honour. I thank you for recognising I’m not a nazi.

We’ve had Basically Beef, now it’s Practically Pork, what’s next in WoW? Mostly Mutton, Fundamentally Fish, Substantially Shellfish? #worldofwarcraft

When someone says “right you are”, Yoda they think they are.

Never knew Oasis were in Wayne’s World.

The single lime left in my fridge looks like a magical McGuffin in a Disney movie.

At a birthday party, they made the band learn this. @manmademoon.bsky.social

What do you get if you cross Near Dark, The Lost Boys and From Dusk Till Dawn? 16 Oscar nominations apparently.

Supermarket Sweep does sound more fun than Supermarket Sooty