The people on TV are finally saying what I was wondering, where are the rallies Don? How come you’re not out doing rallies?

Sorry, MAGA, you wanted cheaper eggs but instead you get a ballroom you’ll never set foot in and war with Venezuela… And more expensive eggs

Fun fact: all tours of the White House have been suspended indefinitely because The East Wing was how we, the people, entered the White House and we’re not welcome anymore.

Interesting that Steve Bannon never says Trump will win the election to be president in 2028. He just says he will be president in 2028…

The White House is the people’s house. Teddy Roosevelt built The East Wing to welcome the people. But Tr*mp doesn’t care about the real people so his ballroom will welcome his people, the rich people.

So I guess once again we can assume he’s literally tearing down the White House just to distract from his other crimes, right?

JOB OPPORTUNITY! Do you want to work as a clown & bring joy? Tr*mp can’t fill the ICE positions available because those who want to do it are “athletically allergic.” So if you can do 15 push-ups, 30 sit-ups and run 1.5 miles in 14 min you can become an ICE agent and do a REALLY SHITTY JOB!

That sums it up

Thanks so much!!!! What a fantastic audience in London!!!!!!!

BTS photoshoot for D(e)af with @jonathanschmock.bsky.social and Craig Bierko.

Russell Vought talking about “Unconstitutional DEI principles” makes me think of the phrase “All men are created equal.”

“His Incontinence” brings all the top generals and admirals together, costing millions of dollars, at a great security risk, so he can talk in a slurred, druggy voice about how much he loves his signature and how much better it is than Joe Biden‘s. Worried yet?

We’re on the eve of a government shutdown which will hurt people. Donald Trump’s mind has already shut down. Today he seemed frail, disheveled and confused struggling to read off a piece of paper regarding Isreal. He post AI nonsense of Chuck Shummer and about magical “med beds.” It’s enough.

LA friends: come see our movie tonight 7:30 at Dynasty Typewriter! Q&A after!

Kimmel coming back is become a one thing: blowback. So Trump and company, we can bring back our democracy the hard way or we can do this the easy way.

Everyone’s talking about “the comments Jimmy Kimmel made about Charlie Kirk.” Let’s remember that Jimmy Kimmel didn’t make any comments about Charlie Kirk. He used his first amendment rights to make comments about “the MAGA gang.”

Brooklyn is sold out but there are tix still available for the gramercy 9/16 at deadthefilm.com

It’s not the heat, it’s the bullets.

QUICK POLL: Who do you trust more: A) HHS Secretary RFK jr or B) any pharmacist? If you answered A or B this country has major problems.

How did we go from Joe Biden‘s Cure Cancer moonshot to RFK Jr’s measles and polio for everyone? You go, MAGA!

Let’s watch the fun when parents decide not to take their kids to Disney World because Florida has no vaccinations for measles and polio and they want to go to the “good “ Disneyland in California where people are vaccinated… it’ll probably be fine with Disney if Disney World suts empty, right?

I love soft things: soft tee shirts, soft skin, soft secession....

VACCINES ARE MEDICINE. RFK jr IS CHILD ABUSE.

You guys know that Tr*mp keeps reading that poem “The Snake” because he’s the snake, right? Everything he does is confessional.

COVID was such a hit during his first term, “His Incontinence” and his roadkill lover RFK jr are bringing it back for an encore

“My friend Victor saved me, though, because he laid on top of me, but he got hit.” If you heard a combat veteran say that you would think wow what a brave soldier. That was said today by a 10 year-old boy after the shooting in Minneapolis. Is this the country we wanna live in?

I made a movie with my daughter @izball.bsky.social , my boyfriend @jonathanschmock.bsky.social my son in law @brennanleemulligan.bsky.social also starring @vicmmic.bsky.social my stepdad mark lonow, my mom joanne astrow, Eddie Pepitone, Nick Marini and CRAIG BIERKO (the craig bierko) info below!

It’s sickly hilarious watching the Cabinet meeting that happened today as these ass lickers grovel to this demented old fool. It would be less demeaning and cringy if they actually had to lick his asshole on television. Hey, maybe next time.

TODAY’S CARTOON: jonathanschmock.com

So for this administration, the difference between a search warrant and an arrest warrant is just a formality. Today it’s John Bolton, who is it tomorrow, someone we like? Rachel Maddow? Barack Obama? Stay tuned.

Notice how Trump’s body language with Putin is very much like his body language with Epstein. Whispering and smirking and giggling together like they share secrets in a special club.

Watching these Ukraine meetings, it’s sad to realize how Trump really has become the embodiment of America: unfit, unwell, uninformed, bloated and cartoonish, being manipulated for better or ill by other countries. They let him brag and whine like a child and then go about their adult business.

TODAY’S CARTOON: jonathanschmock.com

💔 💔 💔 🕯️ 🕊️ 😡 😡

Actual question from the WH Press…

So Rump is both basically declaring martial law in Washington DC AND hosting the Kennedy Center honors… is it ever enough? It’s ridiculous.

How sad and dangerous for the country is it for this fake press corps to celebrate this selfish old baby’s slide into dementia? How much more cringe worthy are the stories and fantasies going to become in the next three years?

I wish one of these Republicans at his Town hall would be honest and say, “listen you babies, you voted for Trump because you wanted to be lied to and sold a vision of racial supremacy, and that’s what you got. You don’t get medicine or rights or low prices. You get to pout.”

The Texas gerrymander is a national problem instigated by Tr🤡mp to take the US Congress. If a foreign power invaded our country and landed their navy in Oregon, we wouldn’t say “Oh that’s Oregon’s problem.”

Tr*mp is literally “Turning the States against each other.” Why does that sound familiar? He really is Jefferson Davis leading a confederacy

Bad labor numbers come out, Tr*mp fires the commissioner of labor statistics. Tr*mp doesn’t like having been impeached, forces to Smithsonian to take him out of their display on impeachment. All hail the emperor’s new clothes

Stunning that laws are now openly being changed to exempt the president and the vice president from insider stock trading. When is enough enough?

Another midair collision barely avoided today. This one happened over Burbank Airport, which is 10 minutes from my house. I’m glad the 150 passengers are safe and I’m also glad they didn’t land on my house. If only a contestant from The Real World, Boston was the Sec of transportation…

So in Tr*mp world, Brendon Carr, the FCC chairman gets to dis Colbert and say he’s lost it and he deserves to be canceled? You’re a bureaucrat, not a critic asshole.

So the Paramount- Skydance merger guarantees that they’ll include alternative viewpoints AND ban DEI (diversity, equity & inclusion). I’m confused…

Trump’s plans for “The Late Show with Hulk Hogan” have been put on pause.

TODAY’S CARTOON: jonathanschmock.com/distraction/