it all started going downhill when restaurants started having phone apps

tshirt that says I Like Girls With BPD Boobs Pussy Dick

i wish i was cool and Went Ham as much as I Burgled It.

hat that says Wishin' I Was Phishin'

256mb could hold a life time supply of PS2 game saves. Why does my notes app need 300

Please stop liking the ripoff Misa Amane she is literally powered by a nazi. The real Misa Amane is right there and is only powered by a fictional fascist

I Gave My Explicitly Irredeemably Evil Fascist Character Big Boobs And Now The Gooners Won't Stop Drawing Her Demure

unveiling my new gamer snack; Gamer Applesauce. filled with all the vitamins and minerals that gamers need like lead

gonna take a nice photo then title it Oil On Acryllic

totodile deserves to eat a big deli sandwich and say "them's the streets babey"

grapes are if fruits were soup

the chocotaco did more for americans than any republican so they had to get rid of her

*purposefully burns dinner* see, I'm a girlfail i promise. please don't leave me i. *purposefully trips and hurts my knee* i swear i can be worse. I'm sorry I'm too put together for you. I can change *gets fired from another job*

think how loud the uma musume school cafeteria is

the secret to cooking is that you can both burn and undercook something at the same time

i cant be in a polycule because id be put in charge of event planning and i cant do this anymore

no one truly deserves anything. except for life changing head from a cosplayer in the bathroom of a convention after party. i personally deserve that. and anti depressants

my 2nd greatest dream in the world is to kiss a pretty cosplayer. the first you ask? well. haha. not to be crass. not to speak of such thibgs when kids can see this post but. 1,250,000 dollars Australian Currency

why os the weight of the world pressing down on me. it should be the weight of a woman

my first act of office will be to make carrots less loud

a very important part of reclaiming a term is NOT continuing to use it in an insulting or offensive way but i do think if i personally called elon musk the f slur to his face the pros would outweigh the cons

im gambling my life away on 2d women but I'm kind of winning at it

i have the legal right to turn anyone who says the words "open world survivalcraft" into a Béchamel

I MISSED MY OWN BIRTHDAY????? WHO DOES THAT??

im outside the whole foods with a whole wheel of cheese and local brewed kombucha but none of the ex-hippie milfs in ankle skirts are making out with me sloppy style, did i do something wrong

the

my entire life changed the first time a girl sat in my lap

stop treating social media like its a place to have conversations. it's a place for gay people to post their beautiful art and for me to say how much i want to eat their art. if youre doing it someway else you're stupid

people are telling me gawr gura was the Vtuber Lebron. which is weird because i dont think she can play baskeyball

fearmongers you fearmongers you fearmongers you fearmongers you fearmongers you fearmongers you fearmongers you fearmongers you fearmongers you fearmongers you fearmongers you fishmongers you fearmongers you fearmongers you fearmongers you fearmongers you fearmongers you fearmongers you

you've probably spent more of your life showering than watching vtubers. i hope to god

on the spectrum of autistic or not, i am the equivalent of nonbinary. some other third thing with characteristics of neither neuro typical or divergent that make psychologists piss and shit themselves.

kids these days won't understand the experience of eating a nature valley bar that's crumbled into edible dirt. another thing capitalism has taken from you

it's Tuesday, that means tonight is

if the pope is from chicago what's next. a doctor who from the bronx? a power ranger from glasgow???

hope the new pope can get gacked nasty choofin' off massive dacca

just reading my morning newspaper (yuri manga updates) ((i print them out on top of garfield)

i refuse to be sisyphus. i will never sharpen my kitchen knife

i told you i'd fix it

this is gonna be controversial but i love drinks. liquid? in a cup? with a STRAW? who could have ever even thought of it??

would you smoke me if i was a weed

in honor of nanashi mumei and ceres fauna i too will graduate. but I'm a Winner so I'm having kronini send me back in time to do it first

sourdough starter yuri is that funny

youre laughing. my tits are too gargantuan to hug my friends and youre LAUGHING

No one told me we couldn't aim the 21 gun salute directly at the guy

april fools is the worst holiday because of all the cultural appropriation against fools like me by people who think theyre sooooooo silly yet they only try to be once a year. do not take upon the title if you refuse to jingle the hat

What makes you the bigger fool; failing out of clown college or being top of your class?

what's with the excuses and conceeding. Call 'em a cunt and move on bruvs

I was born to do many things. Doing them wasn't one.

She Seven on my Eleven until Im 2 dollars per fucking taquito