Trying to schedule transportation to the new Sunday night roleplaying campaign but me and my ride both have unmedicated ADHD and it’s like

My old coworker Abby cut my hair yesterday. She’s a lot happier as a stylist than she was as a barista, despite the occasional HAIR SPLINTER

I was hanging out with Robbie and Lyric and found myself wishing, as I frequently do, that I could make a little doodle. Like not even an ✨artistic rendering✨ of anything, stick figures would be fine, but I can’t even usefully stick figure

I said I’d eat my hat if I was wrong, and now here we are

Here are your starting parameters:

In physical therapy, a thing they usually do is ask for a list of ways your injury impedes daily life. This is how, after explaining that I am BARISTA I need ARM, I wound telling my PT about Mara taking me on a tour of his new house

Good morning companions! I am stressed about my TENDONS and my JOB and the GOVERNMENT. But it seems I am still king of the ephemeral snow pile? So at least there’s that.

Tattoo update! Still quite a bit to go, but ✨the vision✨ is coming together

Slept through the New Year’s party, but @samuelhblack.bsky.social and @free-bearz.bsky.social brought me in effigy and it looks like I had a great time

A nice thing about going back to work is seeing everyone’s time skip character redesigns. One has new glasses that make her whole face look different, another has waist length blonde extensions, and I have the beginning of a tattoo that… I never posted pictures of??

So. A butterfly just landed on me. A live butterfly. It is December 24th in Wisconsin and there is snow on the ground.

Usually when I say “there’s something magical about starting a walk in the dark and watching the sun come up” the magic in question is just a feeling

Fortunate that I’m not plagued with doubt as to whether my friends actually like me. They do! Aw yeah!

Common thought “I never know when it’s appropriate to ask for a ride to the medical clinic when technically I could take the bus or walk” actually FALSE. On occasion it is very clear!

I’m in a queer horror book club that meets every other month in the Corporate Dystopia Room of the local grocery store

In further orange-things-making-me-happy news, I recently started buying bags of habaneros in an effort to reduce the DPS (dollars per Scoville) of my weekly grocery bill. If you ask my mouth, this is going great!

You ever have an emotionally weighty secret that oozes all over your mental landscape, and the secret nature of the ooze keeps you from saying words because even the true ones feel false when you're not allowed to acknowledge the ooze on them?

Wild that the etymology of “implied” isn’t “imp lied.” Like yes, implications ARE the way you can mislead without technical falsehood in a faerie or demon contract, this IS how imps can lie, but that’s a total coincidence and we’re actually basing this word on the Latin for “to enfold” or whatever

HAPPY HALLOWEEN I wanna see your costumesssss 👁️

Well, that was art. It was rich and gorgeous and also the straightest fucking version of Frankenstein I’ve ever seen

An old coworker visited the store for the first time in years yesterday "Lex! I was hoping for a familiar face! Do you remember me?" And in my head I was like "of course, Eye of the Tiddy!" My mouth got as far as "of course," before I froze -- wait, what WAS his name? Oh no

Showed up to a friend’s hobbit party as Smaug, surprising absolutely nobody

Hhhhhhhh you know what? NO I’M NOT OVER IT and it’s my birthday so let me have another little post as a treat?

Walking back to the cabin with the player of a character my zombie just killed at Hawkins LARP: ME: “I wonder how long a skeleton takes to burn to ash” THEM: “About 8 hours” …of course they just Knew That. Gosh I love horror LARPers so much

How many baristas does it take to operate a conventional home coffee machine? (two) (the answer is two)

Something is afoot at the apple farm

Hugely disappointing that despite traveling by boat to a mist-shrouded island covered in bats and then immediately entombing myself amongst the pale rocks, I was NOT offered the Kiss Of Night and made immortal

So it turns out I’m the chosen one. You may doubt this, but then how can you explain my encounter yesterday?

Unseelie

For a while I kept running into a problem where I’d become overwhelmed with nostalgia for summer camp. And. What? I’d never BEEN to summer camp. Nostalgia is specifically a feeling you need to earn through experience, and I’d done nothing to earn this!

The thing about absorbing Francis Ford Coppola’s 1992 Dracula movie so deeply into my psyche at such a young age is my brain has adopted certain scenes as emotion gifs that will play at the slightest provocation. It happened again this morning.

Happy giant gay skeleton season!

It’s Dracula season at last, and today’s novel segment has me frothing at the mouth for a movie that dares show Dracula applying his fake beard to go pick up Jonathan, and then tenderly tucking him in with a blankie in the back of the coach

Today in “decisions that would’ve gotten me killed in a horror movie and probably weren’t a great idea in real life, but all that happened was I got possessed by a giraffe”

Three-headed turtle

Insurance-covered Occupational Therapist: Listens to the symptoms I typed into google, tells me to do what google told me to do PT Sam’s mom sent me to: Examines my entire dang skeleton, diagnoses me “misaligned sack of bones,” says we gotta get weird with it Step 1. BECOME A SCORPION

Friendship is when you go over to someone’s house and stab them,* and then they clip your toenails.** And I guess it’s also a lot of other things? But sometimes it’s that. * they’re squeamish about injections ** golfer’s elbow makes some very stupid things very difficult

Currently dealing with some golfer’s elbow and OH BOY is it ever humbling to face the feeble grip strength of my non-dominant hand. Almost lost a battle of fortitude to a garlic clove. Eating the crushed garlic DOES feel more satisfying after the struggle to vanquish it though.

It’s. It’s a tofu press. Why is the package so intent on reassuring me that it won’t STING? What happened here? Was there a Hornets Incident at the packaging facility? I. What.

I’m used to people commenting on my bare feet when I go walking, but the lady who stopped me yesterday was wearing a sun dress and INSULATED FUR BOOTS, so when she went “Feet!” I got to be like “opposite feet!” and feel vindicated as Normal From The Other Side

Sam has a friend whose name isn’t Doctor Trombones, but that’s what I call him because he’s getting a PhD in trombone. We perceive the world in very different ways.

I hope it isn’t too explicit to share these photos of my birth

Me: “Okay where should we start?” Hiking buddy: “We should go west and see that big moth!” And honestly with the way things have been going? It may sound primitive and unscientific, but perhaps through the fairies we COULD ask Mothra for help

I did not know tree stumps could be furries until I met this one with an obvious fursona today

Before 9 at this party and I’m so sleepy I can’t keep my eyes open, but I think I’m disguising it pretty well

Posting this in a place where it may not get any likes, but that won’t stop me from enjoying things! 1 like = 1 thing I like, REVEALED

Customer small talk is TREACHEROUS TERRITORY because like Me at -6° - Oh it’s chilly in the stairwell! Better put on a weighted vest for my first few laps so I can warm up quick 😀😀😀