Today in Gestapo news …

Got that iOS update that’s all about Liquid Glass. Does it look better? No. But does my phone run better? Emphatically, no.

Probably fine that platforms like TikTok can’t be bothered to give a shit about their own community guidelines when it comes to AI content.

You can report ICE recruitment ads on LinkedIn for free.

We’ve got to be heading toward a Frost/Nixon-style interview with Trump where he asserts, “Well, when the president does it, it’s not gay.”

My phone vastly overestimates the number of times I want to type “more IRS” instead of “now it’s.”

I can see why you liked Charlie Kirk so much (derogatory).

Plugging the media bias chart once again: app.adfontesmedia.com/chart/intera...

Dude, you haven’t changed since high school (derogatory).

If you’re old enough to remember the conservative outrage over the president using the power of the office to get sex acts from an adult intern, then it’s that much more jarring to see the same group of folks dismissing as a hoax the president’s alleged involvement in sex trafficking children.

Wow, we really missed an opportunity as a country by not making everyone associated with the Tea Party a pariah.

My new hobby is cyber bullying stupid Republicans I have mutual friends with. It’s only fair if you want to post dumb shit where I can see it.

Job postings are the new recipe blogs. Companies will write you 12 paragraphs on their culture, perks and fringe benefits but not tell you what they pay.

When someone at work asks me to do something that I think is stupid.

There are so few of you I actually want to connect with on LinkedIn. That’s not a diss; we could be friends in real life and I would still feel this way.

Spent a good five minutes wondering why I couldn’t get a link for the meeting I scheduled in Teams before figuring out it was because I hadn’t clicked the Teams Meeting toggle for the meeting IN TEAMS.

One of my favorite local breweries used an AI-generated image in a social media post. I don’t think that’s cool.

Every few months, my health insurer sends me a “coordination of benefits” survey, which is them asking, “Are you SURE we have to keep paying all your health care costs?” Great system, American health care.

Surely, there are zero health insurers looking at this and thinking they could save a lot of money by scaling back care for people AI says won’t live long enough to make treatments profitable.

If people are still out here clapping when the plane lands, then we get to boo when it’s appropriate. We arrived 5 hours late and there are no connecting flights left today? BOOOOO.

Job posting lists “A belief that your work is tied to your life’s mission” in a section titled “What you bring to the table.” Hard pass.

Monarch butterfly facts are big in our family right now. 5-year-old: “Did you know monarchs are poisonous? So, if a blue jay eats one, it’ll get really sick, and it won’t eat one ever again.” Me: “Kind of like me and the Dallas airport Manchu Wok.”

From now on, when my kid starts stressing me out I’ll just tell myself whatever he’s doing won’t cost me $350k. www.nytimes.com/athletic/632...

Has anyone considered that the Bible may just be a treatise on the dangers of religious extremism? God is vengeful; his followers abide by harsh, oppressive rules enforced through violence; and that belief system as social structure leads to an innocent man’s murder. Happy Easter!

tired of californians blaming *the weather* (wtf??) on little Latinas and Latinos. get real people

My job as a communications professional is increasingly becoming “convince people they don’t need a QR code.”

“The early bird gets the worm.” OK. Then explain how it’s almost 11 a.m. and I just saw a bird pulling a worm out of the ground. Something doesn’t add up.

A good way to help your significant other enjoy their favorite shows is to recognize actors and point out things their character from a different show did that are incongruent with the current one.

Blue state grocery stores: If we’re allowed to use plastic bags, they cost you $0.50 each. Red state grocery stores: We have individually triple-bagged all of your items. Have a great day!

"I wouldn't shoot in that space. I wouldn't even be in the room," said Drew Swift, a firearms instructor who owns a firearms training academy in McLean, Va. "It's just an unnecessary risk." Probably bad to be so committed to killing that you’ll put people at risk. www.npr.org/2025/03/04/n...

Substantial uptick lately in those fake shutdown notices and other messaging scams for the Facebook pages I manage. Honestly, please do shut them down. There’s declining utility in established social media platforms.

I’m sorry, but look at this man. He is incapable of rapping.

5-year-old: “Do you know what it’s called when someone does a lot of jokes?” Me: “A coping mechanism.”

Pointing out to someone on Facebook all the ways this is a clear fake as a public service. All the Boomers are getting scammed. Idk where that bit.ly link goes, and I’m not about to find out.

Got kicked off the Eagles bandwagon for incorrectly guessing “Fly, Eagles, Fly” is sung to the tune of “Shine, Jesus, Shine”.

Microsoft's own research confirms something that was already pretty obvious: relying on a text generating machine to come up with answers erodes critical thinking, and is a method favoured by those who never liked doing critical thinking in the first place advait.org/files/lee_20...

A fun prop bet you can do at home is the over/under for how many times your family will complain about the Super Bowl halftime show.

American citizens should not have to enter into a contract with a private company (that’s an X account signup!) to receive government communications

All the people who were shrugging and equivocating over Elon and whether he was aligning with Nazi, far-right forces should be launched into the sun. May they never be taken seriously again.

very excited to see what happens when you make a deeply compromised addict the leader of the department of defense and subordinate to a madman

Oklahomans would rather speed up and drive 70 mph 3 inches from someone’s rear bumper than let you in on the highway.

Did you hear about the former ska musician? He has a checkered past. #dadjokes

Putting a lot of pressure on a bacon, egg and cheese on brioche I just had to carry me through the day emotionally.

Oklahoma Republican state senator wants to ban cities with less than 300,000 residents from helping people experiencing homelessness. That’s every city but Tulsa and OKC. This place is insane. kfor.com/news/local/o...

This should be the national championship game.

Not today, LinkedIn. Not. Today.

lol no

The most on-brand thing that could happen here is we forge ahead with a “What do the Feds know about Oklahoma?” attitude and are shocked when it turns out to be a huge problem as we were warned.

Maybe instead of debating whether someone who murdered a health insurance CEO is right- or left-wing, we should have a national conversation about how we built a health care system that radicalizes people and what we should do about it.

This explains why conservative fear-mongering is such an easy play in America. — Ppl believe trans ppl make up 21% of the population (Real number: 1%) — Ppl believe Black ppl make up 41% of the nation (real number 12%) — Ppl believe Jewish ppl make up 30% of the nation (Real number, 2%)