alone in the world, just a little catdog:(

mall santa but it’s the long island medium

should I bring my eating disorder back for old times sake

getting off the train at delancey essex is like getting out of a car as 2004 britney spears

they just had to put that little penis on the bottom of new jersey huh

my car only looks like shit cus I’m hot

one thing abt me is that im not following someone named uncle kracker

fuckkk my friends finally told me that my ex looks like mussolini

lmfao remember Joe Biden 😭

its crazy some men be thinking having a period is gross while literally having a dick and balls

im gna bring back flirting w someone by saying ooh la la

petting someone’s insanely bred dog & looking up at the owner asking how much they paid for this fuckin thing

take a shot every time someone says Lynchian when they just mean surreal

lowkey when has she not ?

i used the word salacious in a sentence and the person I was talking to used it to describe something only moments later

give pattinson a break yall

push me to the edge all my friends are straight

babe i landed the vumerity commercial

i love uk shows cus they have shit like lighthouses

my culture is hating to have a man in the house

what the fuck casino (1995) is 3 hours

if ur gna be straight u should at least go to therapy

2026 BTK books to kiss ratio is 12:0

scorpios are lowkey nerds

artists flirting means looking at each other’s are.na

I do feel like there’s something weird about being the only species who wears clothes

what do the birds do when theyre not chirping

*shaking my fists at the sky* IVE BEEN EXPLOITED!!!

it feels like god got my soul on a cheese grater

these days ppl will just break ur heart and have chatgpt write u an apology

I dress like a kid from my high school attending a court date

when I smoked weed before it was sad but when I smoke weed now it’s classy and adult

the problem w looking for your glasses is that you need your glasses

jfk = just fucking kidding

every person on bluesky is 45 years old

debí tirar menos fotos tbh

everyone on raya was in the epstein files

it’s so cool to know a baby

kids doing gymnastics should be illegal

im like the lebron james of not giving a f***

messaging someone on Facebook is the horniest thing you can do

a crush makes anyone a celebrity

why do cats sit like this

you can smoke inside if amy winehouse is playing :-)

the safdie brothers should get into meditating

if u loved best in show as a kid ur gay now

recommending the bean to someone visiting chicago

sitting next to a woman on the train who’s fully on facetime rn full volume i am in the shot

Happy New Year .. to landlords everywhere💙 🎆

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