My latest piece of comedy. thehardtimes.net/culture/libe...

It's *shocking* that a metal news site would get this wrong. This is *laughably* easy to double-check.

My latest. I forgot how much I enjoy writing blurbs.

It's likely that RFK Jr. buys dented cans of soup on purpose.

Since I'm seeing Cattle Decapitation tonight in Chicago, here's my blurb on their most-recent record. It's (still) one my favorite blurbs.

If you need a laugh today, check out their parody of "Ænema" called "Æt." It's about over-eating, and I cackled like an idiot throughout my first listen.

Here's my pick for the best rock doc, from my longform piece on "St. Anger." www.invisibleoranges.com/st-anger-20-...

My latest column.

Megyn Kelly's got a fascinating history of finding the stupidest fucking hairs to split, like this one: inthesetimes.com/article/fox-...

John-1488 would drive this.

If the Blue Jays go all the way, what are the odds Trump has a meltdown on Truth Social because a Canadian team won?

Here's the second installment of my column.

Something I wrote last year seems relevant. medium.com/the-haven/wo...

Ya know, it woulda been easier (and honest) if you'd just said "I'm desperate for attention."

Since they got new music, get caught up with my handy ranking piece. thehardtimes.net/lists/every-...

I mistakenly re-posted the wrong thing. This is my contribution.

"Hereditary"

If you need a laugh today, here ya go.

Since Deafheaven is playing Milwaukee tonight, here's my piece about them from earlier this year (that takes place in Milwaukee).

Here's my review, back when I was in college and wrote for a newspaper (!).

My latest. thehardtimes.net/blog/opinion...

"'I’m still trying to wake up,' a disillusioned [James] Murphy repeats at the end of 'I Used To.' Yeah, I think a lot of us are." I wrote that in 2017 about LCD's then-new album. Sadly, it's still true. (Scroll down to #2.) spectrumculture.com/2017/12/19/t...

Apparently, 'Metallica' just turned 34. I wrote about 'The Metallica Blacklist' back in 2021, a 53-track collection of an array of artists tackling songs from that Metallica's self-titled album. www.thelineofbestfit.com/reviews/albu...

I need a biologist to explain how Jimmy Fallon walks around when he clearly doesn't have a spine.

I saw Galactic Empire a coupl'a days ago, and then I wrote about it. If you get the chance to catch them on their current tour, take it. medium.com/@slneechski/...

Every time I throw on "Paul's Boutique," I realize I'll never be even half as cool.

Five Finger Death Punch is here in Milwaukee tonight. I expect there to be plenty of salt-n-pepper goatees that say "My hobbies include polishing my guns and yelling at customer service."

I wrote some WW1 jokes. thehardtimes.net/music/oh-you...

"It's a typo. It's supposed to be The *Yahtzee* Party." -Elon, at some point soon, probably

My latest.

A recent pitch of mine seems relevant today.

If you're Rush fan on any level, this is them at their peak. The run of "YYZ" > drum solo > "YYZ" is proof enough.

I spent all last weekend at Milwaukee Metal Fest, wandering around and furiously scribbling in a notepad. Then I spent this week vomiting up 2,500 words about it. wmse.org/milwaukee-me...

Couple days late on this, but I finally made this silly joke a reality. thehardtimes.net/blog/opinion...

Would it be too on-the-nose for a conservative grindcore band to have a song that's got 14 words and that's 88 seconds long?

STE continues to be *the* standard for music criticism. His knowledge and analysis are both enviously deep without being pretentious. It's a magic trick.

A handful of my best pitches from April: Mass Shooting Coverage Interrupted By Mass Shooting Ed Gein Excited For New 'Marvel Rivals' Skins Dave Grohl Wins Steak Knife Set After Playing On Thousandth Album Trump Orders Sons To Invite Elon Into Their Bounce House

Reed Richards would be impressed with this contortion.

Machine Head's got a new record out Friday. If you need a guide or a refresher on their catalog, here's mine: thehardtimes.net/rankings/eve...

The best pitch I've had this year is this one: "Eddie Vedder Promises Next Pearl Jam Album Will Have Less Singing In Cursive"

I wrote some comedy about (the silliness of) fandom ownership using one of the best bands of the last 15 years. thehardtimes.net/music/goth-a...

If "Big Yellow Taxi" were written today, it'd be a big yellow Cybertruck that takes away her father, and they'd pave over paradise with a data center.

I wrote about Kerry King's recent show in Milwaukee (link: wmse.org/kerry-king-m...) I was given a photo pass. I've included a few of my favorite shots.

STE proves, once again, that's the best in the business. Not that he needed to. If you follow one music journalist, STE is the one.

In 2015, I called them "maddeningly consistent." (From: www.thelineofbestfit.com/reviews/albu...) In 2022, I said that statement "is still true with Lucifer on the Sofa, and will only stop being the case when hell freezes over." (From: www.invisibleoranges.com/best-of-2022...)

My two favorite Hard Times jokes of mine from 2024: on Napalm Death: "like a Boeing airplane, these guys have a few screws loose" (thehardtimes.net/rankings/eve...) on Kevin Talley: "a superb and inventive drummer who’s passed through more bands than the clap" (thehardtimes.net/lists/every-...)

If you'd like an, uh, unconventional Xmas playlist, try mine: open.spotify.com/playlist/5bQ...

In case you forgot, right-wing shithead "rapper" Tom MacDonald put out a song with Ben Shapiro at the beginning of the year. www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kGp...

If The Federalist's music criticism section had a scoring system, it'd top out at 88.

My latest offering of silliness: medium.com/the-haven/sm...