Just heard someone refer to themselves as "numb as a box of rocks" which is less ableist right? Are rocks numb? They don't feel right? But do we know this? And if so, how? This is going down the road of captcha asking me if I'm really human, and it stumps me for just a moment.

I'm writing a piece for my substack about how to make MOTHER'S DAY SUCK LESS. Want to add your thoughts on my 1-question Google form? I can link back to your socials or substack OR you can be anonymous and tell folks about their nonsense while still maintaining privacy. bit.ly/makemothersd...

Looking forward!

I did a live react to reading a 30 year old letter to my mom written when I was a nun. But I had to stop bc I was so profoundly embarrassed for how preachy I was. Def not what my mom needed at that point in her life. Or ever! bit.ly/livereactnun

It's good Friday which means it's CPTSD day for all your ex-nun friends. What? I'm your only ex-nun friend? I wrote up some convent takeaways with their IRL possible applications. In random order, here are a few.

I appreciate folks being conscientious about image description, I’m actively trying to hold myself to a higher standard. And also “standing on stage in a red sweater holding a diet Mountain Dew” could be applied at almost any time to photos of me.

I know noticing what Gen Z And Gen Alpha CAN’T do is fun but I’m fascinated by the things they’re great at. Why is this generation SO good at Simon Sez?

Can’t wait! It’s virtual so everyone can be a part! Well everyone with internet.

Me as a nurse: your pain is valid, of course. Let's brainstorm together to find some possible solutions. Me as a patient: Of course, I should be healed by now through sheer willpower. And optimism.

Can a show with the word "dead" in the title be funny. How about if it includes ex-nun stories? How about then? The stories are from a current ex-nun, but I was a current nun when they happened. Anyway it's happening in Columbus this weekend! The show that is. bit.ly/secondhelpin...

This is NOT a rhetorical question: do I need to keep every video message I made telling people my mom had died? And if not, why am I still keeping them? Electronic hoarding really is a thing.

Yesterday's Moment of Teenage Diplomacy. Scene: The school library, lunchtime. An adult and a teenager sit together at a table, using a large sheet of paper to lay out the timeline for a student's story. (1/7)

I'm not super hopeful since it seems this country is really quite fine with children dying (eg what changed after Sandy Hook)...what would it take to change? This is not rhetorical I really don't know.

On a scale from one to ten, how weird is it to write a Kool and the Gang Celebrate parody to promote a substack post? bit.ly/celebrateons.... What if there are multiple verses?

I'm feeling spiky about this from a parts of speech standpoint but I'm feeling like there is some potential promise to this tactic.

It may not be cool or hip in some circles, but we legitimately do need a massive amount of people to run for office. Flood the school boards, councils, county seats, state legislatures, Congress, etc. Big changes at the top happen when the ground shifts at the bottom. And that can start now.

Help! I'm teaching storytelling to middle school students in NYC who need to tell their stories. You can imagine. Introducing them to the concept of zines. Please send me links to printable zines that might inspire them. Any topic (maybe not "my dad's yacht is too small." Pl share widely.

So, just checking, we're gonna be blamed for every domestic airplane crash for the next four years? Great. I can’t wait for Fox News to report that turbulence is now caused by “too many pronouns in the cockpit.”

Doctors hate when you say 'Can you note in my chart that you're refusing to order that test?' They hate it so much that they suddenly remember OMG I can indeed order the test! #medicalselfadvocacy

Elon owns a social media company and has questionable relationships with foreign adversaries. This is very, very dangerous and Congress must act. We need one Republican to call for hearings. One to join us on our many bills to put guardrails in place.

There are many moments I am grateful for being single, but almost never so more than looking at the faces of worried men on the subway on valentine's day, holding bodega flowers.

I feel like one of my jobs right now is to be as calm as possible because there are folks more vulnerable than me who need to be supported. And also I had to make gravy three times yesterday because I forgot that whisks exist until the third time. So there's that.

📣 Yesterday I posted a long thread of tables breaking out total Medicaid/CHIP enrollment in all 50 states (+ DC & the 5 U.S. territories). Today I've compiled all 52 graphics (suitable for sharing!) into one place. SHARE WIDELY W/YOUR MEMBER OF THE HOUSE OR SENATE! acasignups.net/25/01/29/how...

Rich people will not be getting poorer in the next four years! I'm an older nonbinary person with some mobility stuff. I'm also a nurse. I'm going to support vulnerable communities but I'm also going to go learn botox for a side hustle. We need ways to make money from rich people to survive.

I'm on deadline for three different writing projects but I just discovered nun reaction youtube. I guess my compromise is rage-reading here?

ISGMH’s alithia zamantakis will appear on @wttw.bsky.social this evening to discuss the impact of recent executive orders on transgender individuals. Tune in to "Chicago Tonight" at 5:30pm CT: news.wttw.com/content/chic...

We kept Haitians who tested positive for HIV at Gitmo in the 90s. You know how many of those folks are dead now, even though they were paroled into the US right before new medications were available? ALL OF THEM.

I’m back on the apps because dystopian romance is more fun to live than dystopian fiction. You know what AI really doesn’t understand? What queers are looking for. Sending bots that look like what men think women want in a woman is so old fashioned!

I mean, the federal government now says I don't exist. But I'm pretty sure I still do. I think in this particular case I'm correct.

Saturday afternoon I’m doing a free virtual workshop with a long time ER nurse about preparing for ER visits. The system sucks so we’ll be brainstorming harm reduction! bit.ly/moreinfovuln...

Blueskyfolk over 50: what is the most obvious "sorry we were looking for someone younger" work-related rejection you've gotten?

I’m just discovering #5amwritersclub! Where have you been all my life?

Saturday afternoon I’m doing a free virtual workshop with a long time ER nurse about preparing for ER visits. The system sucks so we’ll be brainstorming harm reduction! bit.ly/moreinfovuln...

After having it on hold for months, it is finally my turn to check out the audiobook version of My Name Is Barbra! And now I have a full-time job.

Today is the 8th anniversary of Bryn Kelly's death. But I wrote something about her life. And her wisdom. And of course, snark!!! kellidunham.substack.com/p/rememberin...

We'll have (more of) a resurgence of communicable diseases and then hopefully everyone will remember how much polio sucks and then hopefully we'll resume vaccinating our children? As humans we're theoretically capable of understanding something is bad without having to experience it. Theoretically.

Can’t wait!

I was told as a student-athlete in the 80s to "tone down" my play, that it was too "aggressive looking." IN VOLLEYBALL! Is that what we want? I mean, obviously we do. But this is an excellent point. This is the kind of thing that tears apart youth sports, especially women's teams. Not transfolks.

Do I really need to keep all 10 different videos I sent to tell people my mom died? They're just taking up space on my phone. And what do I think I might do with them? Turn them into stand up comedy? Well. Hmmm.

Can folks please pass along this info about some free virtual health workshops to strategize around our own health before the administration change? www.kellidunham.com/free-virtual...

Would everyone in my life PLEASE watch these two episodes so we can talk about it??? This was a podcast as fine art. Also the dog who (it turns out) didn’t want to go camping? SO RELATABLE!

A piece re: surprising relationship w/ my mom written 4 Huffpost, picked up by Buzzfeed; nowfolks are asking for a full text of the Grief Stinks book I made for my mom. So I put it on my substack. It's done in crayon. Perhaps this makes you feel better about your decisions? bit.ly/griefstinksb...

Apparently I run Tiny Comedy Camps now. In Brooklyn. The kids are pretty great.

My sister and I just introduced my nephew into the concept of a speaking in tongues focused Christian concept album based on the chronicles of narnia and the thing about growing up born again in the 80s is that all the most serious stuff sounds like it’s overdone satire.

Holiday travelers= tons of luggage. Also, animals. Amtrak is a scene from Dr Doolittle this AM. If you travel for a living, this is theoretically mildly annoying BUT holiday travelers observe the quiet car regulations like a religion. Not one word has been spoken in 30 minutes. It's delightful.

You've obviously never worked with teenagers--or maybe even been a teenager yourself--to think you're going to mess with pizza. This is so great. www.lgbtqnation.com/2024/12/repu...

I'm not sure, but I think hopeful cat content might be my thing now. Which is a great addition to "that comedian who talks about death all the time"

If you want to creation an intense rejection tolerance event in training for like, perhaps something like high end modeling, I highly recommend being single and a freelancer in the month of December. Great training!

Old queer single emotional survival tip: go to ikea at 6 pm on a weekday. Watching couples (some with cranky hungry children) fight over living room sets is…sad. But also as a two time widow i occasionally pardon myself for a teeniest bit of schadenfreude!

The right loves to vilify the government interference in our lives but tbh I only started wearing my seatbelt to avoid fines. And wearing a seatbelt decreases traffic fatalities by half. Thanks for the “interference” government!