We did end up playing Chester City away in the Southern Section of the LDV Trophy. As I was at uni in Lancashire, I was one of the few berks in the away end. That was the last time we played them. #pafc

Today's commute soundtrack, this utter batty head banger Amen by Igorrr. This is but one taste of this glorious album. youtu.be/PYRdJo3cG2Q

One year for Edwards makes sense and the absolute max. He's clearly an excellent pro, keeps in good shape, sets a standard. A lower league Milner type. Would also like us to sign some proper competition at right back for him. #pafc

Too hot!!! 🥵 Think of The Thing... Think of The Thing... Think of The Thing... 🥶

Too hot... 🥵 Just think the Battle of Hoth... think the Battle of Hoth... Think the Battle of Hoth... 🥶

30 years ago marks our only successful trip to Wembley. An appalling game in a tired old stadium, here 20 mins of 'highlights' which must have sent the editor to sleep. The corner was the only well excuted thing all game. The most interesting things were the kits... #pafc

Pin stripey... Ropey... Not on the backy... Just another in far too long a line of Puma shirts. #pafc

More nasty, slashy and read...y... for me 😁 #horror #videonasty #80shorror

Southampton's response should be read in the voice of Hugh Laurie as Prince George IV. It ends up being a bit like this... "We're guilty, we admitted it and we think it's a bloody liberty that we're being punished for it!'

As extraordinary a coach as he is, his time in England (and elsewhere frankly) is tainted. Pep is a very political animal and knowingly worked for a sports washing, financial doping enterprise that is second only to PSG. All that alongside questionable associations pre-City. Won't miss him.

Putting on my mystical futurist hat... The new shirt made of recycled rope... Will be A shade of green... Puma stock template... Press release will include stuff about local heritage as inspiration, shared strategic goals and synergies... Sponsor on front... Badge... "Worst/Best shirt ever!" #pafc

The Universal Constant... Pre x Season = (Bristol City (H) + (Torquay ∧ Truro) (A)) #pafc

Quite a grotesque day for football on this island yesterday. The scenes at Celtic, following a gesture of extraordinary mid-week generosity from officials. The unedifying sight of a Chelsea and Man City FA Cup final, with no attempt to frame how their recent foundations were built.

Reminded of the time Tony Pulis complained about his team being leaked down here. As though we couldn't tell it was going to be 4411 consisting of 4 CBs, big sod up top, slightly smaller sod behind him. Launch ball at first big sod and the rest picking up scraps. Wang some crosses in. #pafc

30 years ago today, the most barmy Play-Off game we've had. Trigger thumping it Leadbitter free kick 😱 McCarthy non-red Warnock red then into the Mayflower Kinsella thunderbolt Paul "Short Arse" Williams with a header to win it Comes with minimum effort commentary #pafc

"He won't leave us, he's got stability, he likes it here, he's honourable..." How many times does this bubble have to be popped? Because given a choice, they're off every time even to basket cases. Not saying Clev to Blackburn is a goer, even those with strong roots have dropped us and ran. #pafc

Eric Morecambe would have been 100 today, always one of my go to performers for inspiration. Could turn so sharply between emotions, but the transition was smooth and would happen in mere seconds. Would love to have seen him in straight parts, with the right director he'd have been brilliant.

It will now include; Join pre-match warm-up for £50 Serve the drinks in hospitality More raffles you never hear about Random golf club sent quarterly One very coarse question per forum Priority priority points Priority priority priority points One vote on the future use of worn jockstraps #pafc

I mean, why break the party habit? Who knew Reform would have to suspend one of their own for being a vile bigot? Couldn't see this coming a mile off. #Plymouth

Trying to capture how awful Hornchurch v Torquay is, in words, is proving difficult. Instead I shall borrow a frame from The Beyond. A film I highly recommend, unlike this abysmal shower of a match.

Oh Rooney, Rooney, Rooney. We've had good away records despite the travelling... What I recall is your tactical genius like seeing Forshaw in the RB spot waiting to get the ball off the Grimshaw, Edwards was where Forshaw should be and everyone looking incredibly lost. #pafc

25/26 Women's season grade is B. 2nd was unexpected. Hourihan said we've a top 6 budget (sounds familiar...) ultimately a very good season. Changes? Get more strength as sometimes size wins out. In big games often there's one touch, one pass or one dribble too many and that cost. #pafc

Half a Curly Wurly and a packet of Love Hearts and that's our final offer. #pafc

Getting Wrestlemania 2 vibes from all this. Although if we could bung Trump and Infantino in a cage with a King Kong Bundy giving them the Avalanche Splash then a five count, that would make me watch.

Not surprised that parts of #Plymouth love a bigot. Especially those posher areas. But now for the Reform fascists, it'll kick in. The realisation at the time they need to put in. Suddenly going "Why do people keep talking to me about bin collections?" "Why can't I stop the boats?" "Potholes?"

The only one I wouldn't be offering a contract is Hazard. Not to say he'll stay anyway, but we need a presence in goal. Far too polite back there. Also, while we need a Ralls, we need a younger, fitter one. Yeah they cost, but we've skimped on centre mid for years now #pafc

Now that silly season is upon us, let me contribute to it all with this. Yes, that's right, it's the 2025/26 review of our red cards. I, using the most arbitrary system known to mankind will now score out of ten how interesting they were... #pafc 🧵

Today a student said to me. I choose to believe it was a RoboCop quote.

When the bookings for a 10 car train, end up on the 5 car train that turned up...

Let us now revise this to 5 finals and 1 goal. Ronnie Maugé you continue to stand at a great height alone and you're not even that tall. #pafcq

Completely, totally, utterly our own fault. It's become a safety blanket, passing it around at the back. Why our keeper and centre halves need to see the ball that often is beyond me. Why there needs to be that many sideways passes across our own goal is beyond me. Changes came far too late. #pafc

A typical Play-Off encounter, and this time the girls are imposing themselves better. But it's been wasteful, largely through rushing. Maybe clouds will part, ray of sunshine, choir sings, time slows and we score in a Zen like state. All one with the cosmos and the universal heartbeat man✌🏻 #pafc

Pyro with partial mushroom cloud anyone? #pafc

Burton Albion init for the Play-Off. My one desire is for us to just once throw away the caution we always seem bring to these sorts of games. #pafc

25/26 grand totals (If me maths is right...) P55 W27 D8 L20 F93 A76 +17 49 (53%) of the goals came from Tolaj 21, Pepple 18 and Oseni 10 14 clean sheets - Hazard 10, Ashby-Hammond 4. 135 yellows + 6 redd 3 touchline bans for TC #pafc

INT. HOUSE. NIGHT READER: They're coming to read you book...bara... 🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️ Mwahahahahahahahahaha!!! LIGHTING STRIKE CLAP OF THUNDER CLICHÉ JUMP SCARE #horror #80shorror #videonasty

My grade for 25/26 is C- You could split it in half. 1) A bizarre willfully wrong approach, appalling stuff, eventually realising that it needed to change. 2) Change happened when they felt serious heat from generally a meek fanbase. Then we played with more purpose & signed experience. #pafc

35 year old Joe Edwards being skinned quite often by 34 year old Michael Jacobs. #pafc

Wes Harding has just concussed a border terrier that was being walked by his owner through the carpark with that effort. #pafc

"It would be a no-brainer really, but there is other factors I can't control and then there is also factors I can control, I have to look at my best interests as well, but if the stars align I would love to." One step away from "Known knowns and unknown knowns." #pafc

Whilst we can get potentially excited by the fee we might pump for, let's not get stiffed on accepting stupid clauses. Like £500k if he scores 10 for Switzerland type stuff. No, money now! But in all my time, I've never seen a supposed transfer epic actually turn into one. #pafc

Now we can add the galloping trots and/or the wonder chunder to the plethora of muscle strains and tears. Variety truly is the spice of life for the Argyle medical staff. #pafc

Pure entitlement. Big squads, masses of medical staff, probably some special ways to recover... I hope it does derail their season.

If this is remotely serious, tell him that the model of cancelling after one or two seasons if it isn't a raging success, will put a dampener on a sports investment. #pafc

1. Every year, large areas of gorse in Dartmoor and Exmoor national parks are deliberately burnt. It’s an appalling act of vandalism, killing wildlife, preventing regeneration of crucial habitats, releasing toxic smoke and carbon. This thread is about why it’s happening. Pic from this weekend. 1/7

Finally pulled me finger out and applied for a three-month artist residency. But this came after months of "This is a great idea... No, it's shite..." On repeat. If they call my bluff (which can happen) let's see what comes of it. As it might be great... But it also might be shite... Argh!

Chelsea and Man City in the FA Cup final. No other English clubs have systematically ignored, bent or broken the rules like both have done. In terms of trophies won, no other English clubs have been as successful over the past decade and a half either. The moral of the story - is that there is none.

Watching Paderborn V Schalke. Not only is it a top two battle, but it's also Battle of the Beards. Miron Muslic still looks like Hank Scorpio, Ralf Kettemann has a slightly more modern approach with an air of "Just For Men" photo.

10 home wins up! And it only took until the 25th April and match 23 to get it. Wherever we end up next season, that's got to be improved upon. #pafc

Ashby-Hammond injury watch. He's gone a different route, nicely doing the self administered stretch of the calf muscle. Making the most of his unexpected afternoon in the sun. #pafc