The year of the synth

Popping shrimp tails in my mouth as I play the slots

Got abducted by aliens and they gave me huge calf, thigh, and butt implants that look and feel great

*after feeling literally anything* I need to Improve a Skill

humiliating Flat Stanley by rolling his body into a tube and using him to shoot a giant spitball at his house

Recent events

I’m going to be a drama account on here

*Waddling into the sniper’s crosshairs and smiling obliviously at the sun*

Wearing my chlorine-scented cologne so people will think my eyes are bloodshot from being in the pool

*climbing a ladder to the sun and unscrewing it like a lightbulb* *adhering several colored LED light strips to the moon*

Me: *sipping beer, checking watch* New clone: *sliding naked from his birthing pod and curling up on the floor* 🤤 Me: Hey man took ya long enough haha *placing a beer near his head* What’s the play tonight? New clone: 🤤 Last friday’s clones:🧍🏻‍♂️have a beer?🧍🏻‍♂️beer🧍🏻‍♂️beer? Me: 😡SHUT UP! he’s thinking 🥺