Being autistic and physically disabled is so fucking lame man. My body aches and it adds to my overstimulation and it s just. I wanted to create this week, and have decod op tcg cards to give to people at the con I'm going to this weekend. And I feel so sad and defeated that I couldn't do it.

I want to create something but I'm just tired man

Trying to get over irrational dislike of my body by using it as a drawing reference for smut. If it works it works. Or rather, it works a little which is better then not at all

I love pokemon za so much ahh

Where did this month go? I got so little of what I wanted to done + Im going to a convention next weekend with my family and just forgot??? So I haven't been saving money properly??? Like. This past month has just been a total blur and feel really unbalanced

🐱 PREORDERS CLOSING! 🐱 Just 3 days left to grab one of our purrrfect bundles! 🐾 thenyanpiece.bigcartel.com

Annoyed at myself for leaving a ton of discords during an anxiety moment because I need to ask DofSan shippers what version of a clam mermaid Sanji would be hottest

Every few weeks I get insane thinking about how x marks the spot and Luffy's scar on his chest and his heart and ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Reasons to live despite the horror The new professor Layton game isn't out Ferret ❤️ Knick knacks The people my squishy heart cares about Smut The way the world smells in the wake of the first rain of the fall, when the summer dust gets pulled down and the chill fills your lungs with life

I need to learn sculpting I want to sculpt ace into existence with my hands

I'm blaming the weed but I see a lot of DofSan in my timeline and for some reason my brain went "what about CoraZo? And now I'm having thoughts™️

When playing shin megami tensei devil survivor as a kid I was weirdly obsessed with turning physical damage characters into healers, and vice versa. I ended up with a lot of boys with fem presenting personas as a result.

Intrusive thoughts are so obnoxious and distressing but one of my coping strategies is to put into the context of fandom and then I end up with very strange fic and art ideas

Why does the urge to create strike when I'm actively busy

I'm so glad I have a cess to affordable edibles in my state, I eat them so slowly they last for ages and help so much with so many things.

Just had a vision about clam mer person anatomy and now I have to write that into a fanfic somehow or else the demons will haunt me forever. The question is, witch ship do I subject to this

Normally I understand why people are upset at pokemon games, but I'm having so much fun with Z-A that I'm having a really hard time understanding where people are coming from. Arceus and Z-A are probably my favorite pokemon games since black and white 2

My main games rn are breath of the wild, infinity Nikki, and now legends Z-A and I keep hitting. The wrong buttons for the maps @-@

I did not expect to become obsessed with Boa when I started One Piece based on how I saw other people talk about her, but I can't help but adore her she's ridiculous and I'm enamoured

Man, I'm enjoying the new pokemon game so much. I get a lot of joy from running around and just seeing pokemon out and about and just doing things. Also got a stress point from Arceus resolved. honestly prefer the legends games over the main series rn

Must write! Must draw! Must clean! Must play legends z-a! Must play botw! Ahhhhhhh

Trying to find not ai coloring pages for the kiddo I babysit is so hard man, they're fucking everywhere and it's killing me. I'm just gonna have to lock in and draw her kpop demon hunter coloring pages my self.

Waiting for PayPal to process money sucks ass I babysat over a week ago pls give me my money So i can buy things irresponsibly and chase crumbs of dopamine for my disordered mind to feel tiny moments of joy

Trying to decide if I should split up my sfw and NSFW office on different pseuds. I lost a user subscription after posting must, witch is fine, but my anxiety brain keeps going back to it and thinking like is it rude to have them mixed together?

I have the autism where I get lots of joy from showing people my collections but I also constantly worry about seeming like I'm bragging or being rude or just upsetting or annoying someone. But I really want to show people my things. Blegh

I'm gonna take an edible when I get home and see if the halo gods will take my brain worms and let me write. I have a shankslu idea followed by lawlu + magical au for kinktober prompts but I can't write right now and I'm dying because of it

Got a comment on a fic asking for more but the reason I haven't posted the second chapter is that I accidentally let the embarrassment demons get me and still haven't gotten over it. Im working on it I promise

Someone should lock me to my desk until I get some writing or drawing done task avoidant and is killing meeeeeee

Whenever I get a crumb of money in my bank account the desire to buy one piece stuff bubbles up violently. Having stuff in the mail helps remind me of positives in the future and it's silly and stupid but it works

This is amazing

Wish I could just yap my thoughts out into the world have the work but writing is hard

Surrounded in a pile of half finished kinktober fics because pms, my period, and mental health nerfed me

Man I don't think I have anywhere on the Internet to go to for pure joy. AO3 is the closest but it's not like, connection like I'm craving. I know the adult thing to do is to go out in public and like socialize but my brain gives a million reasons not to and my disabled body backs it up

Luffy is so cute I'm gonna be sick

Oh my god

The pose >-<

Suddenly remembered a wip.i abandoned and have the urge to work on it but I think I forgot to name the Google doc, it's been months, and also I won't be able to work on it for another like 8 hours anyway so I must suffer

You think I'd stop being surprised at all the different ways peoples minds work at some point but nope!! It has a special name??! This is not the default way people experience reading????? I would say I need to sit down but I'm already in bed.

Haven't had the spoons to write, brain is coping by dreaming about writing. Anyone know how to transfer dream scape Google docs to waking Google docs? T^T

So many times I've gone to create a fursona and then given up because mentally I'm just stuck because what animal truly represents me??? How do I pick??? I could make more then one in theory but my brain gets stuck on trying to make the perfect one and then explodes

Chanting the words one piece in my head over and over trying to suppress the urge to verbal stim to avoid waking sleeping children

One thing I'm sad I missed out on is fandom roleplay culture, ix did not break free of that cringe and trying to do it earnestly sounds awful for my anxiety. The closest I get is discussing fanfic ideas in detail and I think it can get close but it's not the same. Blegh

Hyper focus is so annoying because why is it easiest to clean when I *want* to write smut. At least my room is much cleaner 😔

🐱 PREORDERS EXTENDED 🐱 We can't stop when we're on such a roll, so let's make this extra time count! ✨️ OP stans, mark your calendars because our PREORDERS have just been EXTENDED until October 14! 🐾 Thenyanpiece.bigcartel.com

Drugs aren't the solution to all problems but Adderall and weed have been so useful for me man.

Nothing like being a sfw fic server and watching someone call a ship disgusting while knowing that the author that made this server does in fact ship that and sometimes write sit on a side acc. Or when you watch people call a kink horrifying and you just got finished working on a fic with it.

Turns out when you hurt your dominant hand because you accidentally got fixated on a clicker game for a few hours typing becomes much more difficult. And trying to type on my phone with my non-dominant hand is very taxing

I ran into a friend while out with my parents that I haven't seen in awhile. Got three hugs. I forget how much I do actually crave human contact. I'm still hella depressed but those hugs were a nice surge of serotonin. They give such good hugs man.

Trying to remind myself that fic writing is a for fun hobby and doesn't have to be good and enjoying writing it is the point

I think I forgot to blink while writing and panic editing and now my eyes hurt o.o