my strawpage is genuinely SO OLD and the art there is so outdated but luci made me that and its still really pretty and i dont want to swap it out so.... im too sentimental. if i could remake it though i think id struggle between paisley or chenadettes but it likely would be paisley

paisley is the most sweetheart and caring and elegant girl ever and then BAM cannibalism and hidden monstrosity (trans body horror)

technically paisley and valentine could also be hartheart because paisley is a little bit of deer. erotic aortic stuff going on here.

🐏🫀 + 🐺🦢

i miss paisley guys

i do not however believe in chenadette "fixing each other" even though i joke about ingrid being like i can fix her a lot. they're both still very sad and will carry grief with them for the rest of their lives but they have each other and that means something,, gah.

the thing thats different between chenadette and vonclair is i believe in chenadette happy endgame but i do not believe in vonclair happy endgame. they both involve making each other worse but chenadette is coping with grief and healing while vonclair is doomed to mutual destruction

AUGH I HAVE AN INTERVIEW TOMORROW. BLOWS UP.

iris do you know your mom is much more crazily problematic and nuanced than you think she is (she does not)

i feel crazy because i've reached a point of oc illness where i will actually just talk about them as if everyone understands the context of anything im saying. its probably like starting from chapter 50 and trying to put together the pieces

i love when my ocs parallel. i love when my ocs are narrative foils. it's so good to construct a web of metaphorical relation and explore the same topics through different lenses.

this is such a crazy statement if you Know these guys but paisley and eunhae have an overlap of being able to understand a certain aspect they share and that's about gender, violence, and desire that is carnivorous in nature

i love when all-powerful terrifying eldritch being plays the prey animal... so good....

eunhae pretty much almost never looks flustered... she's more likely to look feverish (so repressed) or outright hungry (the wolf by siames). EEK. i need her BADLY.

azolitmin's art is kind of crazy because you rarely find a person with that kind of style that can draw plus size people (looking at art my oomfs cmed from them)

i just got hit with the strongest missing paisleykoda ever. AUGH MY SHAYLAS.

this account is kind of like my podcast

this lab is driving me nuts by next monday i have to have a homework done and also study for the pre-lab quiz, do calculations, and also prepare for the journalling discussion AND THE HOMEWORK which they haven't even POSTED. WHAGS WRONG WITH YOU

eunhae is ingrid's undoing in the sense that she's fulfilling the dehumanizing prophecy of treating ingrid Not as a person but as the representation of death and also someone already dead. but at the same time eunhae's guilt throughout their interactions humanizes ingrid like nothing else. gah.

thinking about necrophilia again,,, and how it can often stem from a place of grief being love persevering and loneliness and body autonomy trauma #eunhaechenthings

i love my friends because i can show stick figure blobs and they'll be like thats awesome. love and peace in the world

GO my chenadettes. i was drawing this next to one of my players in class which is why they have zero detail to them. but yes. thumbnailing

heavy gore / feed me to the wolves

i love making friends through commissions.... sniffs. so good. truly.

taps the sign !! fun fact did you know !!!

kicks feet okay i have a direction for this comm im doing now. worked on sketching a composition a bit at uni (gathered moodboards and references)... hoping to polish up a sketch pitch and show my client

writhes on the ground I HATE UNI. it's the next day already and the lab homework due on monday still hasn't been posted !!!!!!! i need to arrange my week because i literally have midterms upcoming you guys SUCK

ive got to design paisleykoda some outfits that compliment each other better,,, all of their clothes are super separate as is

ingrid and eunhae are both subject to womb horror symbolism actually. and how it genders you. and bodily trauma. gnaws on my fist gahh.

in a meta way //i// am the narrative that is keeping ingrid trapped and also dehumanized which is why she's allowed to break the forth wall and bully me. yumeship when your oc is lowkey aware you're their creator

god forbid i have lust in my heart for layered symbolism and also beautiful women

today i will talk about how the objectification of ingrid in art is actually really thematically relevant becau(gets dragged off the stage)

it's a sort of funny thought but people are more likely to think you're cool rather than weird if you're artsy about it. that being said i wanna be both 🌱. and i also want to actually be artistic about how i communicate my stories

sniffs. my crazy thoughts are for my notes and dms within my friend circle,,, too much visibility here and i do Not want to be driven off the internet by tomatoes

biting my fist the thing about me talking in depth about chenadette and sex and grief and trauma is that it delves into a lot of messy and complicated topics that i'm a bit hesitant to put out there in a public post so. i will be keeping it in the notes for now....

some of you guys only became friends with me when i started fixating on chenadette and that's so funny because that means you majorly bypassed paisley...... i need to start talking about her again but the old women plague me

today my girlfriend was rambling about how much she adores pamela (pretty much one of her favorite npcs) and how she loves the fact that pamela is cutesy on the exterior but actually vicious and devious on the inside and how the Prey animal who is actually a Carnivore is one of her favorite tropes +

i had to step back for a moment and look at the bigger picture and eunhae's relationship with loss goes so so far back. even before losing agatha (twice by the way). her biological mom died in childbirth. her father drinks himself to death. she's always been shadowed by death... gah.

my gf calling me out .

realized just now that shapeshifting into existing people is actually rather difficult for ingrid. or more like, copying exactly what someone looks like. because she doesn't Know what people look like on the exterior, she would most naturally shift into what an ambiguous metaphorical form that +

My awesome drawing

i should draw ingrid as different kind of birds because her form isn't stagnant actually,, could be really fun

im Actually thinking about dakota this morning... it's a miracle

me and my weird princess who goes kyaaaa

there's something to say about somno with those two but i don't know it yet. they do a lot of dream stuff and neither of them actually are capable of sleeping properly but there's something there.

my fixation on chenadette is actually so bad and so ill that im wanting to go back to those ship q&as. who would kill the bugs (the answer is eunhae and ingrid would stop her, actually).

chenadette human no fantasy species au makes them look like your asian aunts im not going to lie

thought about making chenadette in the sims because i was like oh that cant be hard and then i thought about how it's so key that ingrid has wings that covers her eyes and i don't think anyone has modded that .... sad....

scribbling loosely as a destresser... burnout has made art super daunting lately so im back to doing whatever on my ipad

getting cms of paisley is tough and i have developed very little trust for people drawing her 😭 and nailing her body type + features + coloring/rendering black skin + drawing curly hair,, most people who have more stylized art haven't figured out how to adapt these things and its like weh. okay.