I was fixing up my resume and missed my check out 🤪 you win some you lose some

95 minutes 🥲

An actor from Community was on Jeopardy and they didn’t address it at all. His fun story was he won a spelling bee and they spelled his name wrong in the paper Ken said, “so this was not an Easter egg for Erik fans out there this is just irony?” If this isn’t a Community movie Easter egg I stg….😮‍💨

Nice

Applying for a job with “alchemy” randomly in the job description and ending my cover letter with the phrase “new heights” 😉

South Park having Kyle’s mom go to Tel Aviv to cuss out Netanyahu is chefs kiss 🤌🏼

I gotta hand it to my ex. A video popped up in my memories of him reviewing his top 10 least favorite Noah’s, 8 of them being our roommate, but the other 2 were “Noah that built the arc” and Noah Schnapp and he said that 5 years ago, before we found out he was a Zionist, so very based take from him.

FYI to everyone: the study this data everyone uses for this point about Amish people having low autism rates actually sampled 3 people and therefore an insufficient sample size to draw any conclusions from (I’ll find and plug the study).

Does anyone know how to get tree sap off your car without scratching the absolute hell out of your car?

S/o to my partner for noticing the Aphr0d1t3 license plate

I knew “You’re on your own lad” and “leaving out the side door” are both from The Sword and The Stone but swallowing a bug is also from Sword and The Stone

I think we should start a rumor that Jeffrey is to Donald as Lem Billings is to John F. Kennedy 👬🏻👨🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 just rile him up, see what happens

I love that every so often Christians know it’s so bad out there but can’t admit they’re the problem decide there’s going to be a rapture soon so they don’t have to deal with consequences. The real rapture will be unconditional love and understanding.

Still thinking about how Gaten Matarazzo went to Disney last summer and didn’t get a VIP tour, didn’t even get fast passes, got up early and got a virtual queue time for Tron and raw dogged the line like the rest of us and nobody even recognized him in line 💀💀

I love living with gays because even if they aren’t super into pop culture or Gaylor lore they’re still listening to Taylor Swift 🙂‍↕️ I just got I Can See You followed by The Giver

I’ve never been so sad for a bear in my life 😭 poor 503 🐻

Can we tell them that yes they were raptured and they have made it to new earth? And now they can start doing the work the lord actually intended them to do with no prejudice against others?

Last Laugh out October 3rd. Amazing.

How many instances of women who have never had Tylenol producing an autistic child are there?

Put on my Red Hot Chili Peppers cut off today but I guess I probably should’ve put my Blondie cut off on today eh? Anyways have we discussed “The Man Wall” x Rapture wall?

I miss having a little dog sleeping and letting out soft toots 💨 ever so often next to me 😕

You’re telling me I have to listen to the guy who can’t pronounce acetaminophen? Gtfo here 🥲

Oh Stephen is going to be so upset that Jimmy is basically Jesus now 😂

Dot the i’s and cross the t’s

What do you mean Sabrina, Jenna Ortega, and Emma Chamberlain all went to HHN 3 nights after me?

What do you mean Sabrina went to HHN 3 nights after me 🥲

I have free SiriusXM for 3 months, something that seems different about the Taylor SiriusXM channel versus other artist spotlight channels is that it’s only her songs, usually they’ll play some of the songs from artists who influenced them and some interview snippets here and there

I bought my boyfriend feetures socks for his birthday and this morning he said “I need more feetures” so now he’s a feeture head just like me 🙂‍↕️ if you ever need a good sock I highly recommend. They have a lifetime warranty, I finally have my first hole in a feeture sock and am about to send mine in🧦

Hayley posted this on 4/16 (I think, it’s when I screenshotted it, but she’s deleted this video so I can’t confirm)

Lmao not the Bobby Sox 💀

Went to the corner store to get myself a drink and the cashier asked what size shoe do you wear? And I said 6 and she said give me one minute I have something for you and she gave me a pair of flip flops they tried to make her throw away. That’s that Robin Hood-ing I love to see. 🙂‍↕️

I will say the facial detection for lockers and stuff at Universal Studios is crazy, makes you realize everyone in power has the tech to really fuck us up at any moment and know exactly who you are and we just gotta trust them not to do that

What do you mean an “otter creek” shirt is in Mean Girls?! What do you mean????

Me at Epic Universe today:

Art the Clown is just Deadpool if he turned out evil after going through all his trauma

Feels important to mention that Paul Simon was the second ever host on SNL on 10/18/75 and Sabrina performed with Paul Simon at the SNL 50th where he states he performed this song (Homeward Bound) on SNL with George Harrison in 1976

So many blinds about Selena and Benny Blanco “relationship drama” I’m hoping there’s a big blow out before the wedding and it’s called off and the blinds are just a part of the performance art 🤞🏼

Can someone tell Mark that the rising contributor and top contributor in Facebook groups is embarrassing and makes me not want to comment on anything?

Good morning lesbians here you go!

Joey Fatone is going to be sitting right in front of me for Nightmare Fuel oh my god 🤭

Just watched Terrifier 2 in preparation for Halloween Horror Nights tomorrow. I hate it 😃

1 year ago today Donald posted “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT!” Let’s see if Taycomedian comes out to play today 👀

And just remember all these bitches out here refusing to eat carbs to lose weight, doing fad keto and carnivore diets? Are going to have hella dementia 🙂

There hasn’t been a cat I couldn’t win over (time varies depending on the cat of course), that being said my new roommate has a cat (Sookie) and after a week she already loves me, we got home last night and she ran right up to me even with her dad home

I am not getting any new merch on her site at all 😅

Heavy speculation here: what if Taylor told her mom and Austin she would be at the game, but by half time when she hadn’t shown up yet they had to think on their toes to get the press release they wanted from her, just like how Brazil had on good authority she was going to be at that game 🤔

Jonathan Bennett posted about a gay hallmark movie he’s in which is awesome but correct me if I’m wrong didn’t hallmark say a few years ago they’d never center queer stories? And Candace Cameron Bure like double downed on that? Because that’s the funniest turning of the tables yet if that’s the case

With the giant partition wall I just want to bring this clip of Nat parading around a stadium not getting noticed before their show (posted 9/5) into the conversation www.tiktok.com/t/ZT6EKQWDr/

Angus Young 🤘🏼 because he’s what? TNT 🧨🤭

I bought a dresser from IKEA with an anti-tipping mechanism when it’s not anchored to the wall. I thought it’d be a pain in the butt and we’d have to find out how to disable it on Reddit, but I actually kind of vibe with it, it just makes it so only one drawer can be open at a time