I've been single too long

Is the Conglomeration the Chaos of AEW?

It has been 368 days since I was last kissed

Do you know what I need. When you talk to someone and there's a slight undertone of flirting

Why is Ego so dumb? Why would it Winds of Watoomb an empty location??!?

IT'S MY BORFDAY

Yesterday somebody liked one of my Instagram posts from 5 years ago

It has been a year since I've been on a date. Long ass year

Interacting with content is a strange predicament. Am I hyping up a friend, or am I just another faceless like?

It's my birthday on Saturday, what's everybody getting me?

I keep forgetting this is the horny app

I got a new aftershave and I smell like cake

I got an ad for Ashley Madison 😂😂😂😂😂

I can be cheeky and flirty with friends (can't with people I have romantic interest in, figure that out in your own time). But if I find out the friend is seeing someone, I will cut it out. Even if they say it's okay I'm like nahhh, feels weird

Out of boredom, just liked 100 people on tinder. Let's see what happens.

Tinder's new favourite thing is to congratulate me on matches that don't exist

Feeld is such a funny app, man. People can't show their faces because of their jobs. I don't think work will care who you're seeing

Now, I'm not saying being disabled stops me from being a deviant, I'm just saying I'd be a better one if I could walk

One criticism I have for this place is that unfollowing someone is apparently code for, okay show you more of their posts than usual

I never take real gym progress pictures. I'll just slap my chest to judge if it was a good workout

When I say I don't read, it sounds weird. But what I mean is I'm not an avid plot reader. Story from start to finish. But I am an information reader. You give me a 600 page book about mythologies around the world, I'll get that finished in an afternoon

How's everyone?

Nobody has ever sat on my face before. And that's very disappointing

Can you have a high sex drive if you've never actually done it?

My sexual orientation is do I think you're pretty

I think it's a look at butt kind of day

The urge to nap is strong

I have no idea what I am. I'm not skinny, not chubby, not muscular, just a little hairy

Me: my DMs are open, I like talking to people, always needing more friends. Also me: convinced I'm annoying, have only ever DM'd like 4 people here

I should really get out of bed. Currently failing

Couldn't sleep, very tired, send help

I don't think I've ever known what it's felt like to be wanted

You know if I ever get to be the boyfriend who can control your vibrator with my phone I will be a supervillain

Me: 2 weeks off work, I'm gonna do stuff. Also me: WTF DO I DO?

See, I have online friends I don't talk to for months and everything is cool between us. But there's the other online friends I have where we don't talk for months and I'm like, are we even friends?

You know when you twiddle your thumbs because you're always delivered but never received

I don't know what to do tomorrow. Any suggestions?

Too horny to be sad. Too sad to be horny

I never understood getting spoiled by strangers whilst seeing someone. Get your guy to do it

One of the best things about being in a wheelchair is that I make a great seat. Nobody's taken me up on the offer

Hey dumb question because my brain's being dumb, Are people here my friends?

My brain has decided that I need to feel all the emotions today, and I hate it

As a wrestling fan, always wanted to take a table bump

Bet you didn't know I could sit cross legged

I once wrote a Twilight Zone like short story. Didn't do anything with it. I just had the idea and wanted to see if I could write it. I could

Anybody who knows me, knows I'm a pro wrestling fan You know what, I would take a thumbtack bump

I'm not normally a peanut butter guy. But you put that stuff in a brownie or cookie and I'm there. I'm the same with jam. I only like jam in donuts

Of the Gen 10 starters, I'd pick Gecqua. Hopefully it doesn't fall into the same trap as Quaquaval and Inteleon. Say it with me: liking jazz music

you know i’m a sucker for a cutesy lil engagement bait.. out yourselves 😘

Currently existing somewhere between lonely and horny