Bent Headlines
@bentheadlines.bsky.social
📤 60
📥 172
📝 239
Original humor writing. Wordplay, satire, parody, fun. Optimist. Newsman.
Man hung like horse snaffle
about 1 hour ago
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TIME is tragedy plus sepsis
about 2 hours ago
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May shopper free flyer puzzle notoriously most difficult of 2nd quarter
#crossword
8 days ago
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Port out, polystyrene home
#sailing
11 days ago
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Parallel lines think they're in Europe
12 days ago
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Exoplanet exosplains, "it means a planet outside our solar system"
12 days ago
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Sailor promises he'll get old girl out of shrink this year
#sailing
15 days ago
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Local worker bee saved from eviction by woman he recently bee-friended
26 days ago
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NASA Orion capsule attacked by weird beachball aliens from John Carpenter's 1974 cult classic Dark Star
about 1 month ago
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Tree toughs gather in obvious places to intimidate folks who climb by
5 months ago
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Woman acclimating to knee prostheses not ready to trust it off leash
5 months ago
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Neighbors still haven't taken down Christmas icicles
5 months ago
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Palliative care patient rallies—comforts EOL care robot suffering Windows blue screen
5 months ago
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Woman recovering from knee surgery glad for new book she simply can't get up and easily walk away from
5 months ago
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BigBuddy 4000 heater vows to "Crush. Kill. Destroy." competition
5 months ago
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Giraffes don't learn from Star-Belly Sneetches
5 months ago
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Ant colony white-knuckles through another family vacation
#entomology
5 months ago
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Inuit, Sámi scramble for dozens of new words for snowmelt
5 months ago
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Gil Gerard, hero of 25th century, somehow dead in 21st
5 months ago
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Obstreperous bookworms ransack Little Free Real Estate Listing Library in high-minded rage
5 months ago
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Marine predator the size of bus ferried prey along ancient river service stops 66 million years ago
5 months ago
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Geriatrics step on Washington in remonstration of mall closings
5 months ago
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Fencepost turtle new Harvard legacy admit
5 months ago
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Scooter McCain grounded after bouncing 8th AD Skyraider off deck of Navy flattop
5 months ago
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Clipped! Another former child actor arrested for meth, assault, Trump support
6 months ago
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Neunundneunzig Luftballons treffen auf ein Lufthansa
6 months ago
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Battleship New Jersey embraces reputation for colorful, profanity-laced signal flagging
6 months ago
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Guy doesn't know what makes him buy the crap he buys
6 months ago
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Jack Finney recognized with Lifetime Achievement Award
6 months ago
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Wordle releases three-fifths scale model ⬛🟨🟨 🟨⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩
6 months ago
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MA woman crashes into cranberry bog, adds sugar, comes to boil
6 months ago
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FBI releases Bigfoot's official file per family's request
6 months ago
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Guy up watching yet another Accident Case Study: A Case Study
6 months ago
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Stoics, stones break man's bones
6 months ago
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Broccoli stalk soup keeps showing up at chickpea's workplace
6 months ago
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33 pages abducted from vintage sci-fi paperback
6 months ago
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Couch potato with Bradycardia tries to think of it like having the resting heart rate of an elite sleeping athlete
6 months ago
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Jack and Jill head back downhill after Jack never supported her career
6 months ago
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Man-apes begin cord cutting after cascade of extraterrestrial streaming services they're expected to pay for becomes unbearable
6 months ago
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Hudson Pewter can't hit splitter
7 months ago
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Doctor resorts to bringing male doctor with her so patients take her seriously when she calls them hypocondriacs
7 months ago
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Tea company pioneering modern British biscuit is Peak Frean
7 months ago
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Neurodivergent woman coaches HR dept on her right to vibrating footmat, headphones, doodlepad
7 months ago
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Human Evolutionary Studies major learned to smile at parents to motivate them to continue providing care
7 months ago
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Paper just feels like it's dragging all the time
7 months ago
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Doctor proposes pioneering new treatment for medical jargon-filled term for symptoms patient has just told us
7 months ago
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Popular new OnlyFans site just script consultant assuring writers they nailed their inciting incident
7 months ago
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Praying mantis can't seem to ditch awkward guy at garden party
7 months ago
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Origami fortune teller not mincing words about man's upcoming kidney stone
7 months ago
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Guy's muse screws pooch
7 months ago
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