When you find a really hot guy on the Discover feed, check their profile and find that it's 50% politics, 49% random memes, and 1% thirst traps:

me flirting: so would you like to get fucked xoxo

G'day, here's a morning flex on this rainy day 😶‍🌫️

Proof 👇🏻

Me this morning: "I'm so fucking busy this week so let me just skip my regular workout and do a 30-min HIIT." Mistakes were made 🥲

Daddy AF 😉

4/5. Good game. Combat is entertaining but enemies feel repetitive. Breeding beasts is a great touch. The main storyline is.. meh. Sebastian's side story was much more interesting. Loading screens when opening doors 👎🏻 Still unpatched bugs after 3 years 👎🏻👎🏻 I'd play again 🪄

Hi, I'm gay AF 👋🏻

Is this app working?

I was planning to share a photo but BSKY isn't working well today.. 🙃

This photo is one of my faves

Someone give me this guy's number so I can send nudes, lol 😍

Some of you may think this is a joke. My ex was on keto diet for many years. No pizza, bread, pasta... having similar tastes is really important in a relationship 👨🏻‍🍳

It is with great pride that I announce: I worked out. Photographic evidence attached 🦵🏻⚡

Day 2 of zero motivation. I started working out twice today and gave up on both occasions 🫠 send help 😔

After delaying it for years because of JK Cuntling, I finally started playing Hogwarts Legacy, and if someone had told me there was a trans character I would have started playing years ago 🏳️‍⚧️

It's a bit exhausting to wake up thinking "What did the Americans do last night 🙄"

This guy takes the sexiest photos 👇🏻

This was a good shower 👇🏻

Somewhere a rubber duck is very jealous of this shower 🦆

It looks like it's going to rain all day 🙃 Time to catch up on my book. Hope your weekend is less wet than mine ☔

Fancy a morning swim? Clothes are optional 😉

Me: I'm thinking about getting my nipples pierced. My mate: Nobody would be able to tell with that chest hair. Me: So you're telling me it'd be like a treasure hunt? 🙃 Him: Yes, and they would definitely need a metal detector.

"The drama queen in me likes to say they sacrificed me at Easter."

Do you wanna see my banana?

Vacation is here 💆🏻‍♂️ Just going to wind down and not think about the future for a while 🙃

My hairdresser has been sick so I had to try someone new, and now I'm sitting here with the worst haircut of my life. When I left the shop I texted my husband: 'I look like a pencil'

Finally, you can suck in public without anyone noticing sucettegoutbite.fr/en/the-dick-...

I like this one 👇🏻

It's kinda cool that they added the relevant scene in the movies: “Down on your knees in the road and ask pardon, or I will set this troll’s bane in you!”

It's Tolkien Reading Day! This year's theme is 'Unlikely Heroes' Fittingly I'm reading The Scouring of the Shire, one of my favourite chapters in The Return of the King 👑

I accidentally stepped on a reef yesterday and I'm barely able to walk. Do you reckon I can use that as an excuse to get some help? 😏

Hairy Hairy Hairy

These are green.. 🤷🏻‍♂️ ☘

The towel is purely decorative 😏

I read Project Hail Mary in 2 days, so you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to the movie. I'm actually re-reading it right now in preparation. Amaze amaze amaze 🪐 I need a good movie, please and thank you

After I posted this, oomf slid in my DMs with just "squeeze me between your thighs" 🙃 love horny DMs

When I see a really hot guy, open their profile and see "Christian ✝️" as the first item:

I've randomly found a dancing TikTok boy cute enough to make me forget I have strong opinions about dancing TikTok boys 😳

Obviously 👇🏻

I'm a man of my word 😏

Wanna give me a hand? 😏 #mcm

I don’t really like baths. Partly because of the water waste, partly because it feels like I’m just sitting in a soup of my own filth 🛁🤷🏻‍♂️ I'm making an exception tonight though

I was thinking about creating a UV account but it requires an Instagram account first FFS.

Me last night 👇🏻

Sometimes I sweat so much during workouts my chain starts flinging it everywhere 💦

I really need new underwear because most of them have holes

Lately when I catch my shoulders in the mirror I have to do a double take. Like Damn... the progress is real 🤙🏻

Really enjoying reading Americans praising the 6 soldiers who died in a war that they started, while not even mentioning the 800+ civilians they killed 🤷🏻‍♂️

This guy is 100% my type and I've wanked to him a few times