Cool, the price of oil just dropped significantly. Surely that means what I pay at the pump will also drop significantly. Right? RIGHT?!?!

From the river to the sea With the help from the bee Palestine can be free www.aol.com/entertainmen...

Starting a war and then claiming you won even though bombs are still dropping is like starting a fire and then claiming you put it out once the firefighters show up.

Did they remake celebrity death match because I feel like this Pope vs Trump thing is a comedy sketch.

I wonder if fetterman flipped to being a Republican because they got dirt on him sexually assaulting someone.

It's frustrating that the leader of the Dems in the Senate can't pull his head out of Netanyahu's ass to vote for what his party and more importantly, his constiuents want. Stop giving my tax dollars to Israel so they can blow up kids, EMTs and anyone else they feel like. Schumer's a bitch.

Butt nugget brigade is having fun during yard time.

You can starve children You can rape children You can blow up children You can steal from cancer children You can cheat on all your spouses You can lie You can be a glutton But what you can't do, is AI generate your face over Jesus's. That's where Christians draw the line.

The president and the vice president used to never fly on the same plane together, so if it crashed, they wouldn't die together. Now it's because of Vances record on kiling things.

Swalwell and Gonzalez both stepped down (rightfully). We should hold all politicians to the same standard. Sure, the first few months would be hard finding replacements for 90% of them, but it'd feel real good to know we aren't ruled by rapists, pedos and dude bros.

Every single thing that sucks is a direct result of unchecked capitalism. Except maybe wasps. I haven't found that link yet, but I'm sure capitalism found a way to make wasps worse....

I don't know why people are so shocked Trump is making himself out to be like Jesus. Republicans have always claimed they are super Christian, even though their actions are almost always contrary to Jesus's teachings.

I was on a flight and a passenger started having a medical emergency. The stewardess shouted "is there a doctor on board?!" 3 priests raised their hands.

The GOP's solution to prices increasing and wages not due to GOP policies is to. Cut taxes for the filthy rich. Cut programs and funding for anything that doesn't directly benefit the filthy rich. Again. Maybe the 90th time it will work.

If a glacier carves out a valley on a coast line, and no ones there to witness it, does it even make a sound? 🥁

With Vances track record, I really want him to testify on behalf of Trump.

Orban is out! Right wing fascists need to go, whether in Turkey, Russia or even here in the US. The only people that prosper from right wing leadership are the filthy rich and secondarily, the racists.

In order to open the straight of Hormuz, the Trump admin is going to *checks notes* blockade all ships from going through the straight? Is there a single working braincell left anywhere in this regime?

Is the plural of clitoris clitorises or clitori? -High conversations

Accusations of Swalwell being a piece of shit rapist come out: immediately loses donors, endorsements and party backing. Accusations of a Republican being a piece of shit rapist come out: headlines the party, donations increase, fast track for presidency/supreme court/cabinet role

Eric Swalwell should be held to the same standards as ALL citizens I don't care what party you are or how rich it famous you are. If you sexually assault someone, you should face the consequences. That's why when people tell me republicans and Dems aren't that different, I tell them to eat glass.

Israel is a terrorist state.

The witches were giving good luck on hole 15 for my tournament. Drove to circle 2.

I want trump to get on stage and promise that he will lice to at least 80 years old. With his track record of keeping promises, we're all in for a win.

Trump wants to invest in Hungary, while Americans go hungry due to his policies and illegal wars. At this point hemorrhoids are more useful than Congress.

"Polymarket: where to get world news, before the world knows"

How is trump like a slinky? It's disappointing when he doesn't fall down the stairs.

What did the upset swordsman say when told to put his blade away? "I'm sheathing with anger!" 🥁

Is it wrong to hope that trump follows in the footsteps of his bestie Jeff?

Salads get a bad wrap. They can be really really good. Like potato salad Egg salad Pasta salad German potato salad Fruit salad Macaroni salad Elote salad Seafood salad All delicious salads.

Had an applicant not show up to their interview today. I called them after 5 mins. No answer. Called after 15, got them "oh yeah I hit traffic, im pulling in now I'll be right up" Never showed up. Called back later that day and no answer. If you don't want the job just tell me!

We keep fighting wars for fossil fuels because we keep electing fossils.

Who would have guessed that the country that breaks ceasefires by commiting war crimes, would again break a ceasefire by commiting war crimes? Apparently not trump, since Israel duped him into this war in the first place.

Maybe Trump was put in power in an attempt to make AI slop look good. "Yeah, we know it told you that 1+5 is 7, but did it tell you to drink bleach to cure your COVID? Oh it did? More than once? No? See, AI is smarter than the president so it must be great!"

Conference room has a sign on the door, a sign on the microphones, a sign on the wall directly above the power outlet, and a bright red tag on the power cable for the microphones that all say "DO NOT UNPLUG THE MICROPHONES FROM THE WALL!" Guess what was unplugged when I went for a meeting today?

This is what happens when you don't believe women. All we had to do was believe one of the many survivors and jail him like we would anyone else. But no. $$$ is more powerful than the truth.

It's the biggest taco Tuesday of all. Trump Always Chickens Out

The conservative echo chamber is about to go wild that Kanye got barred from entering the UK. At least some countries are trying to prevent the spread of Nazis.

"International law? I don't even follow US laws, what makes you think I'll follow international laws?" -Trump

He's going to use a nuke isn't he? And everyone across the globe will condemn him and call for his immediate prosecution. Except for Republicans of course.

There's always been conspiracies about hitlers brain being saved in a jar. In a few years we'll see conspiracies about Trump's brain in a jar, and it always turns out to be a chunk of moldy swiss cheese in a jar of pink lemonade. Traveling with sideshows across the US, making tabloid headlines

Anytime a reporter talks to ANY republican, they should pick a random trump tweet and say "What is your opinion on this tweet from Biden" and then read them the tweet verbatim. After the Republican talks in length about jailing Biden for the tweet, reveal it was Trump and watch them goldfish.

Iran: "We have renamed the Straight of Hormuz to the Straight of Epstein." Trump: "What war in Iran? We are focused on Cuba"

It's frustrating that you have to go to a site run by Nazis if you want to read statements from the president of the United States. Or you can go to a different site run by other Nazis, to see bots reposting the statements from the president. This isnt a sentence that should be able to be written.

We can't build infrastructure here in America, because we have to spend the money to blow up infrastructure in Iran.

When it finally happens the world is going to erupt in song and dance just like the munchkin parade when the wicked witch of the east got flattened. And then the jd vance of the west will appear and make it terrible again with his ICE monkeys. Picture of the lead monkey, Stephen Miller below

With all the microplastics my generation is consuming, it won't be long until we can 3d print stuff by taking a shit.

While I prefer it to happen on camera, choking on his lies, I'd still be ok if it's just a late night cheeseburger clot and we all wake up to a better world.

Trump: "if Iran doesn't open yhe straight within 48 hours, we will obliterate them!" Me: "Didn't we totally obliterate their military? " Trump: "yes it's totally obliterated!" Me: "and they still shot down 2 of our jets?" Trump: "we already won the war!" Me: "a pedo says what?" Trump: "what?"

The US has complete military control over iranian airspace and obliterated their entire military. Just like we've released all the Epstein files and jailed the pedophiles.