P.C. Richard is my father. You can call me Woke Dick.

I’ve been waiting on this headline from Vulture, but not like this www.vulture.com/article/the-...

Almost all superhero stories are just imagine a world where one nice guy is really strong.

I’m not putting in the effort and won’t use AI but imagine a movie poster with Ray Fiennes in sleeveless clerical garb, looking right at the camera, a machine gun in each arm, and it’s Conclave 2: Cardinal Sin

Stop saying manosphere and start saying gender affirming content

New collab just dropped

Rama is done and I’m happy. Yesterday I gloated by approaching Muslims in public and saying “Happy Rama Done.” Got their asses. www.foxnews.com/politics/nyc...

I move to name the period from 1994-1999 the Fruitopian era

*Watching America instigate global war and descend into an isolated failed state with an economy built on failing technology and fake digital currency* Me at home: Can MomTok survive this?

The left column of Drudge today is 11 things, and 10 years ago, any one of them would have been a top story for 6 weeks.

T-Mobile should let me pay extra to see what people are typing when it's just the bubbles

The thing thats most shocking to me is that they haven’t turned The Pentagon into an Octagon

Project Hail Mary is a solid title for all theatrical releases right now

OK in retrospect maybe giving absolute power to the world’s dumbest asshole was a bad idea.

Joseph’s sister was the auntie Christ

Like why are you, as a straight man, stopping to sign autographs for a dude who’s gonna kill you?? www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/03...

At a toddler party

He’s doing war crimes. Not touring with a metal band.

The stereotype that Jews are cheap started when the whole world switched to a new calendar and Jews were like eh, the old one still works.

Trying to decide who the best 90s hockey player was. Call that MarkWayne Mullin'.

*Walking out of Star Wars in 1977* "Wow, I've never seen anything like that. I can't wait to see the explosion of unique films this inspires!" *Cut to literally FIFTY years later* "This is Jabba the Hutt's son Shmaba. He looks just like Jabba but he's holding a knife. Tickets are forty dollars."

Here’s my impression of someone who works their ass off 5 days a week only to have 30% of their paycheck given to a cabal of billionaire pedophiles who use it to enrich themselves and start imperialist wars: “So I work my ass off five days a week and the government gives 30% of my pay to the poor?”

Was just doing some shopping and noticed that Wayfair has 70% off right now and wanted to let you know

This email looks like the ACLU wants help attacking trans kids

Now that’s he’s passed I can finally tell the story of the time me, the ayatollah, and Dan Cortese got kicked out of the spearmint rhino for sneaking in a bottle of goldschläger, the only liquor the ayatollah will drink.

It’s weirdly satisfying to see all social media become slop for boomers

Y’all this took me 30 seconds to make in the notes app. Hollywood is COOKED!

The baby formula we use says “inspired by breast milk” on the bottle. We know.

He ran out of wine? www.mirror.co.uk/news/health/...

With the merger news, I must sadly retire my "If You See Da Cops Warna Brotha" shirt

Shout out to the BAFTAs for creating a perfect situation for me not to weigh in on

*Taylor Sheridan pulling a slot machine arm* "Ok, we got... Kurt Russell... as a... Fire Chief in... Paducah, Kentucky" Paramount Exec: Sure whatever, here's $40,000,000. All of our parents: Prairie of Flames is the best show on TV

Ok FINE, yes, I cheated on you at comicon but BABE, it wasn’t a canon event.

Something about being able to do a Donald Duck voice makes middle aged men think that every child they meet is dying for it to be inflicted on them

*A caveman realizes that scraping charcoal on the wall leaves a residue and immediately draws a crude likeness of a person* Another caveman watching over his shoulder: "Hollywood is cooked."

I know I’m out of shape because my seven-month-old just grabbed my bicep and started looking for a nipple

Because one is a MAGA Republican and the other is a traditional Republican?

Fox News around the midterms

I remember when comics were like, “holy shit, I booked a Super Bowl commercial!!” and now they’re like, “I auditioned but the part ended up going to Bon Jovi.”

How does Brandi Carlisle keep finding musician twins?

I can’t imagine getting a performance review at work now. Corrupt billionaire pedophiles and rapists control everything and you want to ask what deliverables I’m most proud of?

Amazing headline if you don't know it's the name of a show www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/h...

It's kinda funny that Sarah Ferguson married the biggest creep on earth before she met his friend, a somehow even bigger creep, and was like, "I love you, marry me."

Millions of documents implicating the richest and most powerful people in the world in a global pedophilia/espionage/currency destabilization ring need to be parsed by journalists. Jeff Bezos (one of the richest and most powerful people): I have decided to fire the journalists.

Democracy dies in darkness (now watch me usher in the darkness)

Minimizing the window where I read about how our world is a joke and we're at the mercy of megalomaniacal evil perverts. Logging on to the work zoom. "Heyyyy I'm good! How are you?"

Maybe if we spell it guillo-teen they'll willingly stick their heads in it