I’m 42 years old and I still don’t know how people ride a bicycle without holding onto the handlebars. I see people do it all the time! Why isn’t that wheel wobbling around willy nilly??

Started watching D2: The Mighty Ducks with the older kids. I paused when we met Portman (Aaron Lohr) to tell my daughter the fun fact that he’s now married to Idina Menzel. I love being able to link these “old” movies to people and things my kids know.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but FIND ALL THE WINTER GEAR NOW - coats, snow pants, boots, hats, gloves, mittens, scarves, whatever you need. The winter snows will be upon us before we know it. ❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

We’re up 31-6 at the two minute warning do you think we can win this one #browns

All the trolling that adults are doing to the youths about 6-7 is hilarious and I’m here for it.

“I created this AI image…” No, you didn’t.

If you are old like me and want to have fun with kids, try to explain what a collect call was.

Didn’t know we were supposed to refrigerate the Costco cake leftovers. How long do you think we can still eat it? It was picked up yesterday at 11am. We all just ate some at 8pm today.

Why did I think that Kit Kats had peanut butter?

Honestly I wouldn’t want to stand downwind of Pumbaa either. Does that make me a bad friend? No! Pumbaa is the bad friend for wanting people to stand downwind.

Sent an email and refrained from ending a sentence with lol even though I really wanted to 🏆

I’m pulled-something-in-my-elbow-using-a-paper-cutter years old.

Every time I turn off my phone I have to concentrate really hard to make sure I’m not accidentally calling 911. Can you relate.

We took our kids to the Atlantic this week. They’d never seen an ocean before. ❤️🌊

My almost 11yo pulled a loose tooth out of her mouth (normal). Then my 3yo pulled a peanut out of her nose (unusual but maybe normal for a 3yo??).

Them: It turned out to be nice weather for this event! Me: Well… it’s not raining… I do not call 86 degrees and humid “nice weather.” 🥵

All I’m saying is, if you teach your kid how to bake, sometimes you will come home to freshly baked cookies.

At work today, I talked on the phone with a woman who was interested in renting our facilities for an event. Eight minutes into the call, we realized that she is in North Carolina while I am in Ohio. “Is this Charlotte?” “No, this is Laura.” 💀💀💀

Me singing VBS song: 🎶 He has plans for good and not for evil 🎶 3yo: No! Not evil! EAGLE! Me: It’s not evil, it’s eagle? 3yo: Yes! Me: 🎶 He has plans for good and not for eagle, all because he tells us so, oh oh 🎶

Tonight’s dinner is seasoned with salt, pepper, and JUSTICE. www.penzeys.com/online-catal...

Omg why are BLTs so perfect

Just my kids messing up the lyrics to cotton eyed joe so I jump in with the correct words, and they want to know how I know that song.

At the end of Sister Act 2, at the last minute when the kids were told to take off their choir robes, what was the original plan? To do all that coordinated choreography in the robes? You wouldn’t have been able to see their legs dancing.

Hey parents, if at bedtime your child asks to fall asleep to the song in Bluey when they end up not selling their house, the song is “Lazarus Drug” by Meg Washington. You have to start it about 3 minutes in to get the part in the show.

Me driving my 5yo to the protest and explaining why we are protesting: … so our government is supposed to be of the PEOPLE… 5yo: But people are annoying! 😂💀😂💀

Between my bank, dentist, and chiropractor, I’ve received two emails, one text, one voicemail, and one handwritten card wishing me a happy birthday. Feeling the love! 🥰

Love is digging through a full trash bag to find the label from the cucumbers your husband made into pickles yesterday to see if they’re the ones that have salmonella. (Yay they do not)

I’m okay with this.

Reading all the other nerdy things, I realize that mine isn’t that nerdy. The wedding party and I walked down the aisle to the theme music from “Anne of Green Gables” on a CD player.

Once again, if you are a parent inviting children to your child’s birthday party, please specify if the event is a drop-off or if I’m supposed to stick around. I don’t know how to ask politely, and I hate trying to guess.

I asked my 3yo what her middle name is and she said tarmac. Kept insisting - tarmac! Finally she clarified - Bluey’s toy! Ohhh. Chattermax. Still not the right answer, but okay.

I’d like to thank Past Laura for making a Pinterest board of 65 Hamilton memes. I was feeling down and it helped lift my spirits.

We recently watched season 1 of House of David on prime. I really enjoyed it! I recommend it if your kind of show is Bible stories with creative license.

Was this cheating? In 4th grade my art teacher had a drawing contest and the category was vehicles. I wanted to draw a horse and wagon. (Maybe it was a covered wagon?) I didn’t know how to draw a horse so I looked in the encyclopedia and found a picture of a horse. 1/

Oh the number of times in a day I hear “MOM! Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!”

Second year in a row we hid eggs in the yard, the kids found them, and they came up one short. No idea what happened to last year’s egg, no idea this year either.

Woe to the dad who asks if anyone wants eggs and they ALL say yes so he has to make multiple egg orders before making his own.

We are a community that is about loving no matter what it takes.

I had 20 minutes left of my audiobook and it was automatically returned to the library 😭 Back on the waitlist to get it again.

I used to like the Star Wars main theme, then I had to play the piano part and now I hate it thanks John Williams

Hoping this* will be the best motivation to get my child to STOP dumping out LIQUID HAND SOAP and PLAYING WITH IT, and won’t scar her for life. *making her tell the pastor what she did and apologizing because this time she did it at CHURCH

Getting ever farther away from the Wyld Stallyns utopia

One minute they’re watching all the duck/lemonade stand videos and giggling. The next minute they’re dumping out 3 sand art projects onto the couch. But the scripture and sermon today were about the prodigal son so I guess I’ll forgive them.

Okay but what if kinetic sand is the death of me.

Sometimes I really wonder if I’m going to make it out of this* with any of my wits still about me. *parenting young children

My third child is now old enough to complain to me that I haven’t yet put any pictures in her baby book.

Suppose one of your children has a hundred stuffies and loses one of them. Doesn’t she leave the ninety-nine that are all on her bed and go after the lost stuffie until she finds it? And doesn’t this inevitably happen 30 minutes after bedtime and all you want is her to STAY in BED and go to SLEEP.

Rainbow goldfish crackers are subpar in flavor, but they’re the ones my kids love the best because ✨🌈 rainbow 🌈✨

Eating soup for lunch at work and what if someone just came in and handed me a croissant that I could dip in my soup. 🥐

Trying to feed our hermit crabs a varied diet, but pretty much the only thing they’ll eat is corn. Is this a problem? Any experts on here on #hermitcrabs?