“Don’t ask me about fathers”

“SPOONGALA!” throws a bowl of cereal at the wall

GOONGALA

But…breaking things…

GASP

“G is for Goongala”

My type is women who’s names are also months

“I’m actually a combat genius! And I make explosive hockey pucks!”

“I’m not stupid. Although the doctor did say I got blown too many times on the head”

“……….Yeah.” he swallowed “……Not a bad distraction though.”

“Right. Could be anything.”

…………….. “Mmph. Rmmmph.” he takes the tape off “Kind of forgot. I was…uh, distracted.”

“Mmwmph! Prrrmph? Wmmph dmmmph mmmph smmph?” ………. “MMMPH! Nmph! Mmph smmph chmmph! Mph cmmmphk!”

shrugs “Prmmph mmmph mmmph chmmph.” winks

“Mmmph. Thmmph mmmph mmphy smmphy mmmph hmmph. Wmmmph tmmph gmmmph mmmph smmph tmmpth?”

“………nice.”

“…awoogoonala”

“That’s hot”

-/ slepo

“Im going to SHIT FIRE”

SLAMS HIS FIST ON THE TABLE WHEEZES

// oh. Also a customer asked me if I lost weight and if I was okay Which I guess I appreciate the concern but my weight is none of your business Also I actually have been gaining weight so she was a little off

gags and coughs “Jokes on you. I…COUGH…love spicy COUGH COUGH”

// My favourite thing a customer does is they will ask me “what’s the price of this” I tell them the price and they tell me I’m wrong it’s actually this And I’m like…if you knew the price why the fuck did you ask me? I mean you’re wrong but…why?

// there is a reason why I love these panels of Casey Although yeah. Bread at the bottom is a bit of a dumb move to do

// I have three poop related work stories and I won’t go into detail but the fact that I have three of them is shocking enough as it is

“Unfortunately no. It would be nice though.”

slurps it up

// This just happened today. Not even the weirdest thing I’ve seen If customer service teaches you a anything? It’d patience and also people are really really stupid

“You have no idea what I’ve eaten. My body is ready”

“What do you mean next one? There hasn’t been a first one. Unless it ended so badly she gave me amnesia”

// OH. Speaking of Karen’s. I have a customer service story that happened today Old guy came in. Had a receipt. He said he wanted to return a chicken pot pie and get his money back. I said cool. Let me just see the receipt and scan the item to be returned The customer then told me he ate it all

“THUS THE RAGE ROOM. WHERE YOU PAY MONEY TO BREAK THINGS LEGALLY”

“You see! Instead of slamming someone’s face into a counter, take a bat and smash a vase to pieces! And you don’t get shamed for it!”

“For anyone honestly. Look at it this way. You spent your whole life being told ‘Hey! Be careful around the glass objects! They’re fragile!’ And if you do break it, you feel a bit of…fear and shame.”

“It’s actually very healthy to smash things. It’s freeing.”

R A G E R O O M

“GOONGA-WOAH MAMA”

// Fellas. Please do not attempt to chew on a clitoris. You will die.

smashes a garbage can with a baseball bat “COME OUT AND PLAY, CRIMINAL SCUM!”

// squints Giggle Ray? Is that a Phelous reference?

“I’m not the one who’s name is Black Face”

“So what’s that gangster’s name again? Black Face?”

“…get her one of those headphones. The ones that cancel out noise. I don’t know what they’re called.”

puts his thumb up

“GOONGA-“ falls down the stairs

“Normally I’d be wearing my America mask. But in all honesty, I don’t feel like this country is worth celebrating anymore”

“A VAMPIRE SEAHORSE?!?”

“…The Mexican food?”

“Crime never sleeps”