all this to sit around in my sweatpants

Trans people are my allies and if my government chooses to see them as an enemy than the government is my enemy as well. Fuck the state. Fuck the creep pedophiles that run shit. We will win and we will make a better world with them not in it, and some day we will laugh and dance on their graves.

One eyebrow down but Bumble is healing! His mouth is puckered like this for the skin graft inside his cheek. It should go back to normal over time but worst case scenario he has a permanent smile 🥹

Baby in crib: I will sleep no more than 2-3 hours but also I might spit up Baby in bassinet: Fuck you I hate this I will wriggle out of my swaddle and then cry about it to make it your problem. 1-2hrs max Baby in my arms: I will sleep for 4 hours straight as long as you Do Not Fucking Move

Saw this in Discord and it’s amazing

I made banana nut muffins and I had the genius idea to top them with biscoff cookie butter after heating them up. Goddam its good asf

Home made cheddar & broccoli soup and sourdough loaves :)

That's my niche internet microcelebrity husband 💖

LAYER 8: FRAUD arrives... NEXT WEEK.

Everyday magic 🌟 #art

Bumble's on his way home 🥹 They were able to remove everything they needed and did electrochemotherapy while he was under, then he stayed two nights at the hospital to recover. Now he gets the royal treatment of being hand fed soft food until he heals 🩷

Rejoiced a few months ago because I had finally discovered a sunscreen that doesn't make my skin break out or irritate my eyes! Literally spent a decsde looking for one that worked and spent so much money trying new ones. Only to discover today that it was recalled and pulled from every store

Jammy egg toast with Sriracha mayo on my home made sourdough while the baby sleeps

I miss choco tacos. Should have realized we're all in the worst timeline when they decided to stop making them.

Bumble is going into surgery today to remove ✨️mouth cancer✨️ It'll involve taking some of his upper jaw, some of his cheek, two lymph nodes and doing some electrochemotherapy. 65% chance of it not returning. I'm so happy we can treat it but still pretty upset, he's only 6 and he's my bestest boy.

Started watching Bones from the beginning and how did I never realize this woman is absolutely on the spectrum

I HAVE TURNED THE BIRTH OF MY DAUGHTER INTO A MARKETABLE MERCHANDISE EVENT. ENJOY.

Happy Valentine's Day from the parents of a newborn

Talking is good for baby's development but idk what to yap about, so I've taken to doing enthusiastic readings of movie plot summaries on Wikipedia. Last one was My Cousin Vinny.

Socks and sandals should be socially acceptable at the airport. Shoes are easy to remove for TSA but you're not raw dogging the floor because you have 💫socks💫

We're about to take Val out for a walk and I was thinking "Man I wish we had a hat for her that had a little bit of a brim on it so the sun could stay out of her face-" and then I realized. A bonnet. My brain just reinvented the fucking baby bonnet.

I would like to give whoever ruined discord a nice homemade fist sandwich.

Loot that drops after defeating me: - 1 bottle pink hair dye - laneige lip balm - 1 can Celcius (peach flavor)

Theres been so much chatter about the superbowl that I thought it happened already and I just missed it because im in New Zealand lmfao

Baby won't go down for her nap because I've been listening to too many leftist video essays around her. She's too woke :(

Accidentally let the garden go while I was too pregnant to care and now we have these ginormous pea monstrosities. They still taste sweet and crunchy tho :)

aquarium date 🐻

Another reason to be excited about no longer being pregnant is that I can have as much caffeine as I want I'm gonna have a Celsius AND an espresso fpe breakfast goddammit

[baby is crying and will not settle and I'm cycling through every possible avenue to calm her down]: Man I sure wish this baby would sleep! [baby is finally sleeping]: Man I miss hanging out with my baby ☹️

Being not-pregnant is awesome because I can breathe and roll over in bed again, but I did unfortunately have to trade those for needing to waddle everywhere because I'm sore asf 🐧

Moths Only

Like what do u mean I brought life into the world and have stitches IN MY BITS and you offer me two ibuprofen

I have Birthed. And it sucked a lot 😭

he says hi

Work knows, I can be public about it! I am scheduled for bottom surgery on 2/4. I do not qualify for Short Term Disability, so I need help staying afloat while I'm down. I'm working double shifts in tech support/writing dub scripts until 2/3, anything is DEEPLY appreciated! ko-fi.com/U7U613D3A4

If I don't have this baby in the next 72 hours I fear I will make The Exorcist look like fucking Sesame Street

So it's looking like the baby will be overdue and will arrive in February... God help me i am so pregnant no please God ugh 😩

The furniture is built!

Finished mural in the baby nursery 🥰 I'm so happy with how it came out! (Not pictured but you can kind of see it, the artist added the shadow of a blue whale on the ceiling. It's absolutely magical)

I am so tired of callers being allergic to leaving a voicemail. "I was trying to get ahold of you!" Well I don't have your number and if you don't identify yourself in a voicemail I am literally Not Answering It

First harvest of carrots and peas 🥳

Legit just saw an ad for jelly shoes. What is dead may never die

Bumble isn't much of a snuggler because he gets too warm but Saul is my #1 nap partner

for no reason at all I've needed to be off my phone more lately so in a handful of days I've re-read the whole Hunger Games trilogy and the two Handmaid's Tale books (those were new to me). Chewed through them all before the kindle battery could even die. Should I do 1984 next orrr

"Oh I'll just get some frilly cotton nightgowns since it's so hot here, I'll probably feel so cute like a flowy little maternity goddess" vs what i actually feel like at nine months pregnant:

I am so proud of my little cake omg 🥳

Not bad for a first try 🤪 🎂

every relationship needs 'pristine monoculture lawn obsessed' husband and 'threatens to dump ten packs of native wildflower seeds when slightly annoyed' wife

I'm making a white chocolate rasperry cake for my birthday and I just finished the icing which is whipped white chocolate ganache... dude holy shit it tastes so good why has anyone ever used buttercream. I'm a changed woman. I've been converted