Today's office: Glasgow! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

It's fuckin hewge! Genuinely no idea where this is going to live 🥹

Really puttin the H into WFH today 😏.

The #mcm face of somebody who's turning off an out of office notification.. 😮‍💨 Happy Monday ✌️

Is that... The sun? 👀 What a glorious day!

New neighbours over the road. Members of the troupe 🥹🥳 🏳️‍🌈

How the fuck have I got a hangover from 0% beer?! This some buuuullsheeeet.

Uncanny

America, you watchin girl?

Living my best tradie life, wishing I'd just got a guy in 💃 😂 Here goes nothing.. 😬

When you plan on replacing the floorboards in your house, but previous owner used fuck off nails instead of screws, which means you can't get any of them up with ease. I curse them and the fettid cunts they fell out of. Their mother should've fucking swallowed.

Get away with murder this one.

Come on Euromillions. Just this once. 🙏

First time #mcm post, powers also restored. 💁🏼‍♀️

Happy Monday. Have some teefs! 💁🏼‍♀️

Happy Saturday 🥶 Pirate name = Grey Beard 🏴‍☠️ 🥹

Out of office on! Pass me the fucking gin! 🧜

Cute lil gift from the angels in HR. Love hearts are my crack cocaine. Today will be fun once the E-numbers kick in..

Ovaries before brovaries ❤️

Aw James 💔

Little gift from a mate at work, suffice it to say it's fucking delicious and I may end up pissed before this food is even prepped.

Apparently asking for an autograph and a selfie because you 'loved them in the musical' is the perfect line of defence when approached by missionaries. The confusion is sublime.

Today's reaction to people:

"Dada, park?"

New apprentices after asking them not to do their training using AI:

Just booped that bloody snoot!

She has arrived 🙌

Here's to another run around the sun. She old. 😏

When the brains of the business retire and Monday morning is already a full on deluge of shite from the Laurel and Hardy of the company..

It just fell in the trolley 🤷 whoops

That hangover horn hitting real bad 😏

💔 No words

When the Otrivine burns like acid but you can smell from 3 towns over.

Trying to nap to get over this cold. Doggo with other ideas:

Masked Singer audience and panel choosing who to save:

Absolutely outstanding television 👏👏👏 My arsehole has been 5p 10p the entire night. Rachel and Stephen you gloriously deceitful bastards you ❤️

Jack:

What a fucking week!

Today's boss mode:

It's wet..

Guess who's back.. Back again..

Feeling these pronouns today...

Now's your chance Kier. Take the ball gag out. React like an actual leader. Stand up to the lunatic. Love actually style. Just don't fuck it up.

Preposterously shite sleep. Crabby AF. 😒

Running out of space.. Emeli Sandé for scale.

Loves a lie in.

Finally got round to watching Pillion.. Fuck. Me!

Happy bloody Friday 🙏

The lord has truly tested me and my managerial limits this week. Not sure what is wrong with the younger generation and the bizarre belief that there should be promotions and pay rises every 5 minutes, but it's enough to drive me to fucking drink. To the wine fridge!